some of you may still be expecting to see this entry since it sat here as the current entry for longer than most, maybe two weeks or more, in fact... and then this one, which was supposed to be the next to next to last entry in a seventeen entry catch up session (which would mean all seventeen entries would be uploaded at approximately the same time, in one sitting, so that the dormant two plus weeks would suddenly be gone and filled with what would appear to be daily entries with the last being current in real time for the today that was that day that the mass uploading actually took place...

but that's not what happened (as if we all understood it), huh?...

no, thanks to the usual suspects and distractions, I stalled almost caught up and have since fallen behind again, though thanks to mismanaged scheduling at work and my willingness to stand around a lot like a zombie in public, I have a little more time to do something about communicating whatever it is I created this diary to communicate...

just as soon as my eyes clear up...

see (or not see to well), I just woke from umpteen hours of sleep (umpteen being that number that comes after ten, but remains somewhat undefined, except to probably be under twenty in most cases, though not always, that defines a period of time surprisingly longer than the usual period of time for whatever activity that was happening at the time... in this case, sleep)... I am still very groggy (which is another word for hungover, in this case being a sleep deprivation and sugar-caffeinne general bloating of the body hangover) and the gellified liquid (that used to be sleep-tears) makes the visual experience quite blurry and the body itself is quite numb... sleeping any more at this moment, however, would probably give me a headache as one is brewing just below my inner eyelids (those being the imaginary eyelids in the back of and just above my eyes that seem to get stuck in the open position and cause all sorts of odd visions and occasional pangs of pain or thuds of the other shoe dropping during periods of extended awaken-ness (extended over weeks, with naught but brief cat-naps and sleep periods of not longer than 3-4 hours, usually briefer)... might have been the whole year this time...

actually, I think this period of less than ideal sleep has been going on since the mid-summer, possibly since June, and combined with the external stressors of the second half of this year and the sudden return to lack of exercise living patterns, candoor is feeling rather old (and not like a comfortable old shoe, mind you, but more like an old sock that was lost on a camping trip and has been chewed by various woodlands creatures, who returned after the forest fire scorched it almost beyond recognition, attracted by the water it absorbed after hard rains and the insect-bug life that moved in)...

and yet, that old sock is still looking for it's mate...

yeah, so anyway, I am debating between stepping into a steaming hot shower and soaking my head for as long as the hot water lasts

or

dragging this numb carcass over to the gym and trying to find the energy and coordination to move in rhythm with (and therein not fall off of) one of the aerobic machines

or

sitting here tapping at these keys in this semi-coherent (and very blurry) state (eventually turning the TV on for auditory company and getting sucked into some show I might enjoy (either on the Sci-Fi channel or a movie or something on the Science channel or as a welcome last resort, Spike TV which shows an episode of Seven Days weekdays at 10am and then two episodes each of ST:DS9 and ST:TNG sandwiched between two episodes of MacGyver, all reruns I can fall easily asleep to since I usually get home from work about the time the whole package starts)...

I think the shower might win out this time...

before I go, though (intending to return to finish the catch up session, complete with your easy to follow link and possibly explanatory guide to the entire session that took days and days to complete), I close this entry with super-hug thank-yous for you and you and you and you and you and you and you for noticing (that's note-icing on the cake, ya know?) I slipped umpteen entries into cyberspace and everybody else who noticed but didn't mention it and everybody else too, but especially you guys cuz you're paying attention J

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)