you know (or you might), sometimes I read a diary wondering if it's fiction because the characters and events described and writing style is just curiously amusing or dramatic or clever or relevant or whatever intangible it takes to make it consistently interesting... and then there are times I read a diary I wish I had more of the life I read about (that's especially when I read about music or creative work or play or sometimes travel)... and then there are those times I read and fall in love, fantasizing about a happily ever after life with the writer because I let my imagination create the ideal person for me based on the stuff I see on the web (ah, sweet are the illusions of the heart)...

in this diary (that you are reading right now and I thank you beaucoup d'oodles for your eyes and mind and time and I am about to sort of introduce this diary I think... about time, huh?)...

ahem...

in this diary, I give you all the real world stuff that happens to me offline, but interjected somewhat haphazardly is whatever happens to pass through my head (or around me) at the moment I am writing about life in black and white... so at times it may seem strange or confusing or even surreal (I liked the word before it became commercially popular, so I'll continue using it, though less often than I used to, just in case you wanted to know my stand on the word, as if it holds some great meaning, it being my stand in this case, in case you didn't follow)...

I don't start out with any intent to confuse...

it just happens...

ultimately, my mind wanders a lot (heck, I don't really want to know what happens around casa de candoor most days)... I could tell you about the messy kitchen or gross refrigerator or cluttered living space or barren walls or ridiculous utility bills or constant TV noise or the wasteful, suicidal habits or the empty romantic life over and over in every entry, but that would bore me to death and as we know, the dead don't journal, so I'd probably have little to say if I died and then you'd have little or nothing to read when you came here and that might bore you to death and I certainly do not want that, so I will not whenever possible and hope we remain alive and lively and interesting and interested and maybe even have a little fun along the way...

so I let my mind wander and make something out of the odds and ends and distractions that enter my sensory space and give my mind something to wander about... I amuse myself (and occasionally, maybe even you) by exploring the infinite myriad of perspectives available between my ears as I observe life on this planet... maybe you know all this already... but just in case you meet someone who is scratching their head wondering what in the heck is going on around here, just point them to this entry and inform them that they can ask for directions if they are lost... some people do not know they can do that...

so what else is new?... I've completely abandoned my fantasy sports stuff for the past three weeks (at least) and have no idea what's going on there except for the occasional reports from my roommate, Rasputin, who appears quite groggy as he sits on the couch eating some manicotti his daughter, Precious, made earlier (along with another ridiculous mess in the kitchen)... I wonder how people learn to ignore stff like that, not to mention the consequences... meanwhile, the basketball game I was checking out was preempted by the conversation they decided to hold directly in front of the television...

someone save my life tonight...

ah, music to the rescue once again... and laughter... and a strange connection to a story by Stephen King... and Douglas Adams... and the note project that was several entries that culminated in the party in my mind over this past New Year weekend... if you don't get it, just add it to the list of references and asides and stuff you don't get and one day, if it matters enough and the time and opportunity presents itself, we can sit over a cup of cocoa or something and discuss it...

or you could ask SiNuS...

a while back, or at least last week, I was remembering something and almost woke up about it, but I fell back to sleep mostly because I had to go back to work and nobody was around to seduce me (alas, someday my princess will come)...

there's much to be learned out there, ya know?

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)