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2005-05-27 - 10:43 a.m. incomplete (another to be continued, completed, and so on)
"I don't mean to be offensive (the world is just drawn that way), so if you are offended, I just want to be real and never apprehensive about sharing what I feel... so I hope you try to understand... life is hard for some and there are those who would rather not just bend over, stick their heads in the sand, and take it up their collective asses... please. (and you thought maybe it was all just rhyme and reason?... real?...)" how much do you dare to miss and still believe you know it all? meanwhile, to completely change the subject (as much as a subject can be chaned when everything is part of everything), I sense a tragedy coming to my ears as I see the CD cover has an image that looks like ground zero at the World Trade Center on the night after the fall on the cover... the CD is called On The Transmigration of Souls by John Adams... a funeral dirge starts the CD... perhaps there is something odd about me, but I find it so odd when mankind, or at least wen a huge portion of the species, collectively tries to take something (anything, but especially death or any unknown entity) seriously... we, that is, humanity and I, have such a different sense of drama and mourning and tragedy and the unknowns... the music fills my head tonight (which is always a wonderful thing for me) and so many thoughts and feelings race around from so many different difrections and places in memory so recent and so long ago, but what is time, just echoes... ... and Precious just walked in all excited about getting the new Kelly Clarkson CD so it is now interjected in the music flow as I stuck it in the CD and turned on the speakers (which is a rarity around here as I usually listen through my headphones cuz the TV is usually their living room media of choice)... I like it... and listening to Different Kind of FREE by ZOEgirl (did I mention I met a most adorable child named Zoe over the last weekend?... are there any coincidences?), again I smile with warm chills and excitement about how the universe haunts me from deep within myself... I picture her running naked through the grass with sunlight flowing from her hair and laughter dripping from her mouth... I suddenly, if but for a moment, feel everything (and all it's weight) resting comfortably on wings that carry me high above any stress or strife while still experiencing the all of (and I mean all of) the feelings of living this life (did you notice the CD following ZOEgirl in that stack?)... ready to take my final bow now, Mr. Demille... I don't know... there's just not enough hours in the day to live life and record it simultaneously, at least not for the babbler in me... perhaps I could, and it might be nice if I was concise, that's never been good for me... the words must remain free unfettered by any time constraints or editing or whatever else might consolidate the stream of consciousness that flows through me from here there and everywhere... so what can I say... more has happened today than I can put into words and most every day... that is the way life is made and as absurd as it seems I still have my dreams of letting it all go, letting it flow into words... if only there was time... to ramble on and rhyme... to express the sublime experience I know as life... it feels like such a crime to not have enough time... if only there was time... and now I'll say good night
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