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2004-09-17 - 10:40 a.m. made by human hands some things are just too beautifully right not to cheer about... and then I went to the post office (finally) and lo and behold a high was awaiting me there... envelopes... envelopes with stuff inside... stuff made by human hands... she's so sweet... and so open to sharing is such a cleverly guarded way that to the unobserving eye, there'd be no guard at all (as most might not understand the guard in this sentence is no guard at all, ditto this parentheses, cha)... so I'm a teary eyed puddle of mush and the music is so dreamy-like... yes, music... beautiful wonderful dreamy music... odd sounds mixed in with soft sweet sounds mixed in with beautiful voices... and the CD came in it's own fuzzy made-by-human-hands wrapper, with feathers... the wrapper, not the hands... and giggles, I am full of giggles (they do not always come across in words too well, but you can see them if you look real close (and sometimes hear them, though often they are internal giggles cuz true giggles have a secret to share {and hide from those not in on them} and everyone should have a peanut gallery too and that's only besides the point if you want it to be)... this excitement, if you haven't noticed, is inspired by mail of the snail variety... and, of course, the leftover giddiness of the previous evening that has not dissapated much even though I worked all night and am in an even more exhausted (much more) body than I was during the entry of the previous evening... that would be this one, in case you are keeping track or something... not that it was anything remarkable to deserve to be linked or re-visited, but it's there and I figure somebody ought to know... every entry is special and I love them all equally (a writer is parent to the words, after all)... there was a demand attached to this CD that I am trying to remember... the trouble (which isn't really trouble, but the figure of speech, as inaccurate as it is, seems to fit here) is I don't know which song is which cuz the CD player doesn't tell me and the computer could not find it in the internet music database that it (the program) looks stuff up in so I don't have a specific reaction to a specific song but I am simply loving them all and especially the one I am listening to right now which would be track ten... it's not the first I paused to daydream during, or during which I paused to daydream, to be more grammatically correct, or right, even, even though it is evening, so daydream is not precisely accurate either, but surely music and mercy will follow me all the rest of my days and nights... and evenings too, even... semantics can be such fun... for me, at least... this CD has this strange effect on my face... I find the music is reaching into my head like a string sliding down through my ear canals and hooking on to the corners of my mouth and pulling the corners of my mouth up toward my ears, toward the sounds coming into my ears... and my feet are clapping... you might read that in your mind as meaning my feet are tapping, but that is not so... my feet do tap now and then, but at this moment my feet are clapping... a whole different experience... and much more fun... my body is kind of numb with energy... lack of sleep... the brain is hogging all the oxygen that the lungs are taking in and getting a hyperventalative high without the hyperventalation... sneaky brain... I remember when Annie sent that first box (I mean the first box I received from anyone here at Dland and the first box I received since the last box I received as the last chapter of the tragic comedy of this life as I've known it came to a cold and brutal (and brutally cold) end (but that soup is still somewhere else looking for a horse of a different color or something like that, to some extent... ding)... so many things in it, so many pieces of her... and each inspired a ripple of wonder and joy and memory and words... and then other treasures and books and music came through the snail mail from wonderful strangers who sometimes did not even identify themselves... the timing of this wonder (and the timing of my picking it up and opening it and being all spacey from lack of sleep and working all night after not sleeping all day since working last night and a chocolate OD) is such that it inspires (and inspiration produces) the bubbly giggly babble you find before you... so long ago...
was it just a dream?... I dunno, some of you might find a reason within a reason somewhere in the references and timing of the motion of the stars and planets and elemental particles of the universes... it really is so simple once you know, but sadly, most of our species is too afraid of the unknown to approach the possibilities and knowledge is only to be found within the realm of possibilities... and fools and philosophers mourne while the children play... and I laugh, and sigh, and dream... there is more to say and much to do today so more shall be writtn later... until then, may your day spring forth from your center with the full bloom of your light and love and laughter... and may you take the time to enjoy it...
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