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2004-06-19 - 1:11 a.m. home early again tonight Helena and I went to the Hard Rock Cafe to see 5 Billion Dead and other heavy metal bands cuz she knows the drummer's girlfriend and got free tickets... we both liked What's Her Face, a blend of rap and heavy metal with a sense of humor in their lyrics... my ears are still ringing... DeROOT closed the show, but we didn't stay to hear them because Helena got sleepy... on weeknights, 10PM is past her bedtime... she's old (and she'd hopefully laugh it she ever reads this)... we may go see their CD release party at Will's Pub next month... and someone at the Hard Rock handed us free tickets to the next heavy metal show (must be the look, though I actually cut about six inches off my hair tonight... of course it could be that the bands on the bill are not big enough to even be listed on their Orlando Bands page, which sucks actually, because they should be more supportive of up-and-coming local bands so I say we all write to them to insist they list 5 Billion Dead on their list of local orlando bands... heck, the show isn't even on their calendar for July 2004... why put a show on and then not promote it?... arg, and all that riteous indignation stuff)... anyway, speaking of local friends, I don't hide the fact that I have websites and this daily-life diary from the few people who inhabit my local physical world life, but nobody ever mentioned anything I've written here so they are either very tactful or not paying attention when I mention my online ramblings or don't have time or are simply not interested... they hardly ever read for recreation and have selective (ok, narrow) bands of music they like and rarely turn music on or discuss it and they don't ever mention writing... nobody I hang with has a website, though a few years ago I hung with them... the connection was lost during the street-life of 2001 (and then working 140-160 hours a week) mostly cuz I did not want to show up on their doorstep and ask for help (I can be stubborn about bumming off friends)... so my creative interests are solitary these days... anyway, I don't know any local social night people, so once again I was feeling my energy level rising and my party engine reving up and I drove home, alone... when I face facts, I stopped actively looking for a social life in the last few years... I returned to Orlando in 2000 all gung-ho about developing a social life... I created local email groups and organized card and movie and other parties in the first few months I arrived and then was uprooted a few times by the landlords I was renting from (once it was a wayward daughter coming back and needing the room I was renting... another time is was basic roommate incompatibility... and then there was the disaster of January 2001 which you can read about in my first online journal (though it was semi-abandoned in 2002, semi because I will return to it one day if I live long enough) just click the 2001 link... or the 2000 link, for that matter)... simply, I lost everything and started, again, from the street... in 2001 itself I did not have time (or place or funds) for any sort of life and since then, I stopped initiating... I think I actually stopped wanting to trust people... this thought sucks... sheesh... lost...
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