ok, there is no way all the thoughts that have rambled through my brain will find their way into words tonight, especially since I have less than two hours to shower, dress, and get to work, Precious (who is distracting herself with TV, Pepsi, and random comments and would be doing the same to me if I didn't have such acute mental discipline... did I hear a cough?) is doing a school project about the Oregon Trail in the couch (that is, she is on the couch, which is in Florida... the Oregon Trail is near Oregon last I heard), and Eddie Murphy, Owen Wilson, and Famke Janssen are trying to get my attention on the TV is (Famke is distracting libido, who has the attention span of a flea), and this laptop is running out of memory and is likely to freeze at any moment so all this could be lost (don't you just love living on the edge?), but still we process with this entry and I'll do my best to give you random highlights (of those thoughts in my brain)...

if I haven't already mentioned it, I am loving this writer and want to make love to her style (it's a writer's thing, not meant to be perverse, but then, perverse is a matter of perspective as anyone in their right mind (or left, though the analytical approach might lead to verbosity far from the beaten path and therein lose most readers in obscure references... huh?) to who knows what (oh?... blame it on her...

meanwhile, there's been no time to actually do a browsing and the links are piling up again so a few of the links are rather randomly popping up here in flurries (you've noticed?)... of course I tend to get obsessively focused on one subject or diary or person for a few moments and then all hell breaks loose in my head and the dancers come out to high kick and put moves on my psyche until I am babbling on amidst so many distractions that even I can't follow my lines of though (and too many lines in a finite space create what? (be visual)... darkness, exactly... or at least nothing... and let that be a lesson to you)...

I wonder if that's how the universe works...

anyway, since we last met here I went to work, got some sleep, woke, cooked, ate, and sat down here to the tune of the Hallmark Channel until Rasputin went to bed and I switched to an HBO channel that was showing Nightmare Before Christmas because the soundtrack and visuals of Tim Burton are fun and I was having fun reading diaries when a random banner took me back to one of the latest places where I was becoming addicted to a literary personality and I realized I was running out of time so I came here in mid-stream to give us some sort of entry (because it proves I'm alive, right?)...

could be all the psychedelics we (who me?) and Timothy Leary did, but then you know he was outside looking in, don't you?... maybe we should read more Nietzsche (really?... ok, briefly, for we wouldn't want to get carried away (you never know what you might find...

meanwhile, after repeatedly looking over and laughing and sharing moments from I, Spy with me, Precious has positioned her chair directly opposite me so she is facing me head on because she is distracted by the TV (cha?), instead of going into her bedroom, of course... and then she turns the TV off ("you weren't watching, were you?")... and then her phone rings and of course the call is more important than the project on the Oregon Trail which is due tomorrow), so being placed in the position of substitute parent and being the good pseudo-parent I am, I pose the question "if the report was important enough to turn off the TV, maybe it's important enough to not take the call?" to which I am informed "but this is a very important call" and in my infinite cleverness to connect dots I suggest "so maybe you should take it in your room?" alluding to turning off the TV at which point she gets the point and heads for her room (trying to convince her friend, who apparently heard me, that they should stay on the phone)... ah, the joys of parenting someone else's wonder child (she is too smart for her own good, able to get into honors programs while doing last minute reports while watching TV and listening to music and talking on the phone and munching on snacks and if I didn't do the same things myself I'd probably not be so amused and permissive about it... shhhh, I'm not supposed to admit I did the same things, right?)... so should I turn the TV back on? (we won't mention how much I don't watch it when it is on, will we?... wink, nudge, nod)...

where were we?...

there is so much I want to learn, but I find myself wanting to share the learning more than I want to learn these days... that is what loneliness does to me sometimes, it drives the desire to share higher than any other desire so I wallow in procrastinating splendor as I wish for someone to come along to share anything... but as much as I play with self-pathetic concepts and bandy about the procrastination and apathy words, I actually do whatever I feel like doing and enjoy the heck out of my moment to moment life (am I betraying all my depressed friends by admitting this?) all by myself and though I do feel very lonely, it doesn't stop me from doing what I want to do... it (most everything, but especially learning and experiencing life, the universe, and everything, ya know?) is just more fun when it is shared, so anybody wanna come over and learn with me?...

what?... you expected a long entry to go by without an invitation to come out and play with me?... you don't know me vewwy well, do you?... well, that's ok, you probably haven't been reading me too long... or maybe you feel you have been reading me too long already (alas, poor candoor, I knew him well)... doesth thoust forsaketh this rambling fool so soon?... hark, what's this?... a note?... love letters from flounder?... baloney in his slacks?... the bard would be proud (or rolling over in his grave, but that could also be gas, smiles are funny that way)... they do love me, they do! (candoor frolicks off into the woods with an imaginary pile of notes and emails and adoration)...

oh, go read her (or her), she's much more clever (and much cuter) than I'll ever be...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)