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2005-05-03 - 3:31 p.m. and the excitement continues to build... and after you read this... so there I was, checking email (which is more of a chore to keep the mail from bouncing than anything else these days because the mailboxes are so overwhelmed by SPAM it's a wonder I find anything and it mostly feels like a waste of time even though there's still some far fetched hope that I'll find friends in my mailbox {and when I do, I might actually respond for a change, huh?... alas, I'm so far from where I used to be, so far from the one I once knew... as me... I love you from far away even if the words take a while to flow [so focused on finding local friends, I neglect beautiful people just because they are far away] and someday, somehow, I hope to write something that lets you know just how much I treasure every bit of caring and attention you give me} and be organized enough inside and out to respond again... wow, that was a divergence)... so there I was checking email and I'm just pressing delete delete delete on email after email and there, between messages entitled "Free Baskins Robbins or Dairy Queen Ice Cream $250 Gift Card!" and "Free Pay-Per-View" and "Meet Hot Girls" and "Drugs, Drugs, Drugs!" and "Erect Your Member" and "Boost Your Cup Size" and so on, somehow my delete finger stopped (it's always a fluke for me when this happens) on an email about the music weekend in a few weeks and suddenly I'm bouncing up and down inside thinking maybe I might actually get up to the thing (alone, the odds are maybe fifty fifty, if that much, but if someone wants to go the odds are like sure thing let's get going)... and so I respond... and then the phone rings... it's not the person who emailed (I mean, calling as I am clicking SEND would be kind of eerie, ya know?)... it's Bert from work who was visiting another great person who used to work with us (but was given the shaft after eight years of excellent service simply to cut the budget... that's the kind of place it is) and it was good to hear he that the firing was a blessing as he's doing great in real estate working from home and loving it... anyway, Bert and Berry went to him for investment advice (I was too sleepy this morning to want to go anywhere after work since I didn't sleep yesterday)... as usual, the syncronicity was clicking because earlier tonight I decided to buy a stock on impulse as soon as I decide whether I will use e-trade or Charles Schwab or another broker.. I forgot the info at work (see, exhausted body and brain), but it's a nanotech stock for about $2.25 a share and I figure I can splurge on a hundred or two shares (the stock market is kind of like a really expensive lottery ticket)... so I'll do that tomorrow morning I think, when I am awake enough to think... and then, immediately following the hyper-excitement of finding a personal email from a local who actually might really want to go to the music festival thing with me and responding and answering the phone and all that bouncey happy stuff, I find another email entitled Greetings from the ether that relates to my 4/15 entry about music (or this is some seriously clever spam that worked) and there's music to check out (have I mentioned I am loving Kathleen Edwards at the moment?) when I can stay awake over at the desktop... and then Stocklan showed up in my email... it's new music to me and anyone who's hear of them or listens, let me know what you think... actually, the email arrived in the OrlandoSingles group that I created a million years ago (or so it seems) when I was creating lots of groups in the hopes that friends might be found in some of them (and then I got kind of carried away and decided I'd create a group for everyone who asked about this or that subject... most of the groups sleep now)... anyway, back to the first excitement of the morning (I really should be sleeping, really I should be), I hope to hook up for this music weekend and if we do I'll tell you all about how cool my life is cuz I've got music loving friends who'll pick up at the drop of a hat and take off for Woodstock-like three day weekends as if all this dorky excitement bouncing around here now never actually happened or something like that... the ether... I've not used that conceptual imagery in years... I used to, perhaps it wasn't so long ago either... #9... the ether... wow... and I remember you... 1994 might be called the year of the end of the innocence for me, though it might have lasted more than a year, forwards and back... perhaps it all started in 1973, actually... or 2001, in fact... or maybe with the birth of rock and roll itself... or before the Earth was round, or even here... and ultimately, it might start the moment we meet, this next moment, after all... time is such a relative event... but 1994 was certainly an amazing year in many extremes... that was the year the seemingly endless supply of money started running out for the first time (the culmination of a party that started at 6:57pm on July 26th, 1990 in the back of a 26 or 28 foot Ryder rental truck leaving NYC once more)... perhaps I'll relate what I remember of that see eventful year and the party when I have more faculties available between my ears... in the meantime, occupy your time well with an equally ridiculoous (and almost as believable) story by seeing Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy at your local theatre... I intend to see it again soon... everyone should, at least once... I really must get some sleep... I woke sometime Saturday I think and have not slept much since I think and I really must be alert at work tonight because this week is the triannual federal audit and some triannual federal auditor named Jayco (spelled differently) will be popping in anytime and it would not be a good time for me to be nodding off because I have not slept in days and days... but I'm too excited to sleep... and this entry has wandered near and far and somehow combined many different unrelated people and places and things and animal and vegetable and mineral and rock and paper and scissors and eeenie and meanie and mynie and hey moe, what in the world are they doing outside now?... some sawing and drilling and noisemaking, it seems... did I mention that I received an email today from someone who is suing the management of this apartment community... she asked me to call if I wanted to testify in her behalf... I don't know, thet's not my style... I once testified that a student brought a gun to school and flashed it before the class... it was in a special baccalaureate program in Brooklyn... I did it mostly because there were people in the class who were going to drop out of the program because they were afraid and they were looking for someone to do something... the university president told me I had integrity... they expelled the guy... I felt bad for him... he was a class clown that took class clowning one step too far for the class... in retrospect, I shot the artist with his own gun... metaphorically... all for the sake of keeping the status quo and giving the majority what it wanted... he was a good guy... I learned that integrity doesn't always feel good... instinctively I always believed in a kind of karmatic justice... like what goes around comes around... I know every wrong I've done to others has come back to be done to me by others... I'm still waiting for a few of the rights I did to come back around... how far the digressions go, sometimes... I think this is my way of winding down the excitement so I can get some sleep... most excitement is an overreation, anyway... but maybe a whole flurry of local friends (like the kind of life she has) will come ringing me up (407-325-1482) and we'll drive a caravan (yeah) up to Weidner's farm (ok, so maybe it's not Phil's farm either, I think, but it's a farm... at least I think it's a farm)... but he's a guy with a dream, a visionary... look... then come and listen... and she continues to amaze me...
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