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2006-07-09 - 1:48 p.m. is there any harm in harmony? in the landslide or fan (or hate) mail that might emerge someday from the previous entry (or some such makeshift nonsense), I rediscovered the profile that eharmony created for me based on the answers I gave to their questions a few years ago (at least)... I found it amusing that they were so inaccurate in describing me and for the record (and to provide you with more narcissistic reading material), I decided to offer up the following corrections to the specific points eharmony made about me...
By analyzing your answers to the Relationship Questionnaire we have created the following Personality Profile. Everyone has a set of subconscious wants and desires that drive their choices and attitudes. By asking you questions about a wide range of emotional issues, this report has established general patterns in your values.
wow, inaccurate is an understatement on in some points... I can only guess that I was being stupid at the moment of the snapshot they so cleverly disclaimed for themselves... in any case, I'll clarify for clarification's sake because we'd be wasting our time if you're looking for the person eharmony describes as me...
You prefer a warm, friendly environment free of conflict and hostility. In that environment, you prefer reassurance of your involvement and self-worth. this is fairly accurate, though substituting recognition for reassurance makes it more accurate in my mind as any more than occasional (and playful) neediness is as much of a turn off for me as is an aloof attitude...
You are a good friend and are always willing to help those you consider to be your friends. You also show strong ties, and will be uncomfortable when separated from your friends for an extended period. yes and no... I am a good friend and am almost always willing to help anyone, especially a friend... I show strong ties, but can comfortably give people space and my comfort is not dependant on proximity with friends, especially in this world of instant communication... my partner, however, could be comfortably joined at the hip with me and the world could go away for extended periods and we'd share bliss...
You tend to be a traditionalist, and will enjoy the social environment best if it is stable and predictable. You dislike sudden decisions about where to go or what to do, preferring to think things out first. I can enjoy stability, but just as much (if not more even) totally love sudden decisions and impulsive fun so eharmony is way off base with this one... I think such an obvious misunderstanding so early on in the profile it cooked up for me shows serious design flaws that would mislead anyone reading about me...
Others may perceive you as being undemonstrative and self-controlled. Not wanting to be the center of attention, you generally support others. I can be quiet and nearly invisible, but one would have to be blind to be around me often and think this one is accurate... I support others with all I've got, but I am openly emotional, love letting go, and can enjoy being the center of attention as much as being a fly on the wall (not just in a voyeuristic sense)...
Because of your lenient and complacent nature, others with fewer scruples may take advantage of you. You could, perhaps, benefit from greater assertiveness. I can and have been taken advantage of but more because I want to trust people, not because I'm all so lenient or complacent... in fact I can be a rigid task master with myself (and the closer one comes to me, the more they feel that) and I am rarely completely satisfied with anything...
You show self-control in most things you do; you are not an extremist. Others may see you as stable, mature and steadfast. totally the opposite in many ways... I crave extremes and can be wild, radical, and carefree in my behavior... when I want to be responsible and mature I can be, but I am a child and have no fear acting as a child in spite of cultural bias, no matter how immature I might appear to stuffed shirts or closed minds...
You tend to be loyal to others. Your loyalty shows in a variety of ways including your "staying power" with relationships and activities. finally, one I believe to be completely accurate... You have a basic need to be supportive of others. You will agree with others, sometimes even if it's not what you really want. I love to help others (it's my profession and way of life) but will not suck up or agree with anything I do not really want... honesty is my highest ideal and I believe completely open honesty is the greatest kindness and respect I can give or receive... mostly way off once again, eharmony...
You may demonstrate positive possessiveness by developing strong attachments; however, you will not be overly involved as some others tend to do. this one is confusing and seems contradictory... I believe in the adage I'll paraphrase: "if you love something, set it free... if it comes back to you, it was meant to be... if it doesn't, it wasn't, and you're better off knowing now rather than later"... also, hold on loosely, but don't let go makes sense... possessiveness and jealousy turn me off... and yet, as easily as I can let go, I can also bond for all eternity and die for one I love... my priority is the happiness of the one I love before my own in most cases because I could not be happy with someone who was not happy being herself or not happy being with me...
You tend to dislike sudden or abrupt changes. You prefer things the way they are. Your motto might be: "If it's not broken, don't fix it." once again, way off eharmony... I love change, life is change, every moment is new and fresh and unique and the potential for anything to happen exists... I do believe in the motto included in this one, but I prefer things to grow, evolve, and change in natural and healthy and positive and beautiful ways...
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