wow, december was always a month for nostalgia and the return of a daily impetus to remember (at least from august through october) has exploring writings from a decade ago� so why am i still at it now?...

whatever, right... so stumbling backwards even i am amazed at the exposure and nakedness and vulnerability and drama i produced and was lead through out on the web (just ask google or the way back machine, they seem to remember a lot of it, heavens to mergatroid, even, how i lived up to my name� though the pain and ego did get in the way for a while) and i wonder, what�s the point of returning, of reliving� especially alone)� representative healing with others who were making it through their own rain� and that is just one of many online places i wrote� ultimately, it was all to be part of newsbee�s universe, but i drifted off long before it was done (so some may have been lost if not for the way back and google) because i refused to finish it alone� and then there are years of journals� i almost forgot how much i wrote on the net in the nineties and since�

whatever, right, again... who cares, even... well, in memory of harry's birthday (that's harry chapin, in case you didn't know), i resurrect the following true story from the bowels of the newsgroup... names were changed to protect the innocent, even though it won't matter to you if you're not here, but someday, posterity will appreciate the symbolism... or something like that...

see, amidst the cathartic confessions and the serious discussions of world affairs and personal traumas and self-help mantras, there was a discussion of great importance about how chicken eggs became the symbol of easter when bunnies do not lay eggs� and there were dozens of theories, but while all of the answers seem true and valid, but there's one story everybody seemed to have left out, so i enlightened them then as i shall enlighten you now...

like all eternal seemingly unanswerable questions, like which came first, the chicken or the egg, this one started with the chicken and the egg too... then the chicken crossed the road, which led to another eternal seemingly unanswerable question, but that's not the point of this story... in fact, the chicken was lured across the road by the bunny under false pretenses... checkens are not very bright�

see, at first the holiday revolved around carrots, note the phalic shape and all... bunnies took exception to the run on carrots every year so they came up with the idea of eggs, but the chickens objected rather strongly... so the rabbits got together and hired some roosters and asked them to stand on the other side of the road and do their thing (strut around and cock-a-doodle)...

well, the roosters, being male and all, jumped at the chance to get the chickens interest... so early one morning the chickens saw all the cocks-a-doodling across the road and headed over to get themselves a rooster... the bunnies, driving several large mac trucks, made the first chicken patties and the roosters, to this day, cry out loud and strong for their lost chickens every morning at sunrise (which of course answers yet another eternal seemingly unanswerable question, but that's not the point of this story either)...

this shook up the rest of the chickens so much that they to this day are a symbol of being afraid of things... the panicking (and flattened) chickens didn't notice the bunnies loading up the truck with eggs (one of the smarter bunnies got the idea that if they painted the eggs, the chickens wouldn't recognize them, which of course answers still another eternal seemingly unanswerable questions, which of course is still not the point of this story)...

while delivering the eggs to the town, the driver, who had gone without sex for several hours at least, was distracted by a female bunny and lost control of the truck... this is why males deliver the eggs now without females... females stay home with the carrots... anyway, the painted eggs spilled out all over the countryside...

some children discovered one and then another and they had so much fun their parents continued the game each year of hiding painted eggs... the parents claim bunnies deliver the eggs cuz they don't want to admit they took over from the bunnies (manipulated chickens, you might say)... most lost interest in carrots which made the bunnies very happy...

the point of the story is, of course, that sexual attraction can be dangerous when driving or crossing a road and should be practiced in the privacy and safety of your homes... or hatches... or burrows... but that's not all... parents soon realized that private time to continue propagating the species could be found by sending the kids out for the day to search for painted eggs... though after the invention of the television, parents could find private time more than one day out of the year...

anyway, that's the story...

epilogue: the chickens, of course, eat the droppings... chickens eat anything... and besides, they think they are getting even with the bunnies for getting people so eat their eggs... they see these thing dropping from the bunnies about like they drop eggs and, well... you get the idea... not very bright, remember�

yeah, so there�s the nostalgic moment for tonight� what�s it to ya? :)

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)