she says she has that boom-boom that I want, but I wonder if she realizes that if I have to pay for it I don't want it... I suppose if I was to simply visualize masturbatory fantasies, perhaps, she has certain qualities (and not the ones she bought), but (butt?) the imagination is so much more than anything anyone can be (and can be quite strange, odd, even this guy (who is not me either, funda), so it's kind of pointless to try... but this is just my apparently unique perspective because most pop divas who flash breasts and gyrate crotch lips can sing and the money comes rolling in even without owning a country... still, as Madonna said, I'd rather see her bare her soul... as with cheese, I prefer real to processed, so she has much more musical and lyrical appeal for me... it may all just be phlosh in the end, but what is as much of a turn on for me as anything is someone as completely devoted to the art of browsing and rambling as she is, bless her and her nuptuals (and I bet she never expected to have herself linked in the same paragraph with the former Mickey girls, huh?)...

round and round and round it goes, where my mind stops, nobody knows...

obviously this is a start of a browsing entry... I have dozens of them scribbled here and there in files on various computers and on scraps of paper stuffed randomly in pockets or just laying around wherever they happened to be pulled out and put down... one of these days, Alice...

today I did practically nothing and loved every minute of it (Jerry)... I did run a mile, but that was after getting home and allowing myself to be distracted by precious who was home from school to get ready to go away for the weekend with her dad and the evil step-girlfriend (Sally has a girlfriend who has been vehemently apposed to Precious coming down to live with us because she does not share well and wants Sally all to herself... she has dropped out of Sally's life the few times Precious came to visit... but Sally has straight priorities and Precious comes first, so this weekend is a major step forward in her accepting Precious and I hope for the best)... anyway, back to the morning, encouragement seemed necessary for Precious to be ready on time (including doing the dishes that have become a science project after sitting in the sink for at least two weeks... she quite nearly puked and moaned about wishing she had done it before taking a shower cuz she felt like she needed disinfecting... I smiled suggesting that dishes are much easier to clean if they are not left to grow fur for two weeks... furry dishes, yeah...

and I recorded some of her CDs and listened to a few (as linked above) and then found myself browsing through pictures of nearly naked teenagers via one of the sites that I went to in order to get a little more information about music... interesting quote from Amy Lee (of Evanescence) about how nobody tells her what to wear on stage that probably points out why I am so much more moved and attracted to her music than the nubile naked pop icons... still, some sensuality is good for the soul too (and the heart, Anita, yes the heart)...

sometimes I look back on entries, like now, and I don't get all the references or names I slip into the rambles... at the time, I am sure they must have been irreverent gems of profundity or silliness, but the tarnish of falty memory removes some of the luster (or at least erases the stamp of connection to whatever it was I might have meant)... some forensic science stuff might be good for getting to the bottom of the references, maybe some The Sentinel sensory stuff too... someday...

I cooked up comfort food, probably cuz I started feeling lonely cuz I've got nobody to call to come over to share the space now that I have it all to myself for a few days... mac 'n cheese saved me... of course tomorrow I better do a bit more than a mile, but then, if the lonely weekend blues suck me in I might be writing a lot more than running and... no, we do not want to go there... thinking about sliding backwars is the first step to creating the landslide that takes one backwards... remember this always...

especially while tripping the rift...

I think perhaps I will masturabate now, since I have all those pictures of nearly naked teens in my brain (stop looking for links, I try not to link SPAM sites that pop up advertisements)... I wonder if, when I am 64 (ah, Beatles play happily in my subconscious), the nakedness of teenage flesh will still turn me on... libido is still such a child, after all... I seldom wonder about the right or wrong of imagination... what do you think?... tell you what, while I am playing with myself, tell me a little something about yourself by answering the following question as honestly as you dare... on a scale of one to ten, how condemned shall I be for this?...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)