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2005-08-20 - 7:00 p.m. crashing the cherry bomb this is yet another incomplete entry due to lack of time due to working too much and requiring more than two hours sleep a day from time to time and exhibiting some sense in that I do not allow myself to depend on sugar and caffeine every day of the week... in fact, it used to be the exception that I used caffeine to stay awake, but lately I've been giving in a few times a week... not the health standard I'd like to live up to, so a discussion with the medical director (in my brain) is overdue... ultimately, this entry may be delayed or listless due to the cherry bomb hangover that is crashing into my skull (from the inside) at the moment... this may be a long day... so let's just get on with the entry now... identity theft is no laughing matter, but then, neither are cowbells to the cowbell player, so I hope he finds himself, or at least somebody like him, because he deserves to be found... and yes, he is winking at you, but only you, so don't tell anybody... sometimes it is not wise to ask what's new... but then other times, it's inspirational... the latter is exemplified by the new link to the left Fat Man Walking which is the tale of a, well, fat man walking... he's a guy from San Diego who's gotten fed up with being fat and instead of denying his discomfort and pretending it's ok (or distracting from it by pointing at others who pick on fat people), he is doing something about it... he is walking... yes, he is walking the fat off... he is walking across the USA... San Diego to New York City (where they'll probably throw a parade before they mug him)... he's already made it through the Mojavo Dessert and into Arizona... his wife is posting regular updates in a journal... news stations are following his story... sponsors jumpd on his bandwagon and are giving him free stuff... can a book and movie contract be far behind?... I think it's so beautiful that here in the land of the free (and fat) that one man is doing something that just might wake a few people up and rekindle the wave of healthy habits that were the popular fad for a few years... I wish I was with him... and if I could afford it, I'd hop on a plane and walk with him for the next four or five months or however long it takes... it is exactly the kind of thing I could use most in this life (anybody wanna sponsor me?... ah, but I'm not quite ready for relocation and my workplace probably would not hold my job and if there were other jobs paying equal or more than I'm making now I'd probably have moved on to the other job already... so I'll just dream)... maybe I should play the lottery... speaking of being poor, ok, so I shoved the budget director into the closet and went ahead and paid for the comments here at DLand (so now you can leave comments on each entry, even though most will probably pass before you read them and you probably won't have time to backtrack and comment on the previous entries and I'll be all depressed because there are no comments and so anyway, I'llbe cool and cavelier about it cuz I really don't want guilt-comments)... I've been doing that (ignoring sensible budgeting) for too many months in a row and I'm not going to like what I see when I next look at my bank statement... I ignore it so well, there can be no doubt of my financial foolishness... how much does social security pay? (if there is such a thing when I get there, that is)... of course hours later I read that there are free comment services and that Haloscan has great spam filters, but that's life many of you know that I am a wanderer and a sappy sentimentalist (they are not incongruous, really), especially online... I drift here and there, but become attached to people I read... more than some want, perhaps, but being the harmless drifter, I eventually fade into the distance when ignored long enough... or when someone disappears... some of those on my favorites lists have been there for years and no longer have diaries... I ponder reorganizing favorites one day, putting only those active and communicating with me on the actual list and having a page for past favs, dead diaries, and so on... but then, I don't find time to actually update my favorites list as it is, no less reorganize... at least a dozen of you who are no on it belong on it and at least a few dozen more probably do too if I paused a moment in my incessant self-indulgent rambles to read more and get to know you (or at least get to know the persona you potray in your diary)... these thoughts came up in my tired and distracted brain because I found anathema positing entries again... I feel completely horrible for not having checked in often enough especially since she could have used a few dozen friendly supportive positive emails this year... so everybody knows now and maybe that means more somehow, but then, being deep and serious and sensitive (shhh, I won't tell), she knows how to take this public internet rambling with a case of salt... I do hope for another run in with the police to read about... as I explained recently, I've already been hearing Earth Angel in my mind all week and now, thanks to this one, I've been hearing this song all week as well... being who I am, always seeking the deeper meanings and full understandings of everything as much as possible, I checked out the origins of the song and though some attribute the song to Aaron Carter, this is what I found: "It came from two Indian chants that I put music to. �Iko Iko� was like a victory chant that the Indians would shout. �Jock-A-Mo� was a chant that was called when the Indians went into battle. I just put them together and made a song out of them. Really it was just like �Lawdy Miss Clawdy.� That was a phrase everybody in New Orleans used. Lloyd Price just added music to it and it became a hit. I was just trying to write a catchy song. Leonard Chess [president of Chess & Checker Records, then Sugar Boy's label] contacted me and arranged for me to go to Cosimo's [J & M Studio] and record it. That was in [November] 1953. so even though the original author did not necessarily mean it as a victory chant before and after battle, the song just may be that... inquiring minds (at least mine) just had to know... and I always thought it was just a great little ditty that meant nothing except have fun... I suppose I should be happy to know I am not the only person in the world who discusses such music trivia... I know, get a life... but I'd be rambling on about this and that and I'd be loving such obscure information even if I had a completely fulfilled life (like with the one ideal soulmate) because the mind is a terrible thing to waste, or fry an egg on, or something like that... I think one of the most interesting things about living more than a few decades is seeing how songs and movies are remade... just like the Earth Angel I knew most of my life was the original by The Penguins, the internet is more likely to tell us the song belongs to Human Nature, or even by unknown, but if you look deep enough into the net, the authors can be found... and if you knew that science and nature and fantasy and mathematics and art and history and most everything excites me as much as music and movies and... it's all trivia, knowledge, information... how often have I pondered this... there is so much I want to learn, but I find myself wanting to share the learning more than I want to learn these days... that is what loneliness does to me sometimes, it drives the desire to share higher than any other desire so I wallow in procrastinating splendor as I wish for someone to come along to share anything... anybody wanna come over and learn with me?... learning... along with hope, optimism, faith in humanity, all good ideas I would love to actualize all the time... unfortunately, being an imperfect sort, I find myself struggling to keep up with the steady landslide of unpleasantness bestowed upon me in this world... this transition in mood, in case you noticed, is partly reflective of the sugar crash I am experiencing but much much more, the film on the TV at the moment and the underlying depth behind the influences of the songs already mentioned in this entry... Fiddler On The Roof... wonderful music, clever lyrics, insights, humanity, traditions, rebellions, oppressions, the humor amidst the struggle through tragedies and changes, and under it all, hope... and love... some shows are dear to me, like the secrets of the past, the pieces of the soul, core, anima... performing in a show gives the story a profound depth... I played two different roles in Fiddler in two different performances and it ranks with the top three theatre experiences I've known (right up there with Jesus Christ Superstar, La Cage Aux Folles... and there are so many others)... I so miss musical theatre... I suppose the ham in me has settled for the musical theatre of words that I create and live in, this place I call my written gardens... the energy of performance is living in fantasy, art becoming life, emotion given voice and presence as a story unfolds within the actors and before our eyes... my eyes tear at the thought and the salty liquid falls as I miss the sharing of such living fantasies, such performances, such life... to be uniquely gifted to be at peace and satisfied and happy and complete within one's self is magical in this world, a magic that can only be experienced fully in the flesh... but to share such a gift, to share the experience, the joy of creativity, the passion of the art of performance, living fantasies, that is a blessing rarely known in this life... how many have been on stage sharing such energy... those of you who have, know what I mean... it can be shared offstage as well and even alone if you have it in you, the dreams, the energy, the wonder of performance... and this story... takes time...
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