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2006-01-05 - 8:51 p.m. this entry is bipolar
the phrase of the day is: two in the pink, one in the stink... more to come (later)... now we get to the real reason we are gathered here, we've been touched by the gods again (just look at the notes, two of them... how many notes have you gotten from the gods lately?)... ah, my blessings shall not go unshared, for I've come here today to express myself and share goodness and mercy that has been following me around for years in my own roller coaster rambling fashion... after all, it's a mission from the gods... we begin our story by flashing back to 2005, yes, the whole year all at once, but from a specific perspective... the year of the Z0tl... after almost shutting down for good, the one and only Z0tl has emerged with all the talents and honesty that I always knew he had to forge on through the wind and walk on through the rain to continue creating magic and madness on the web... ok, so you wonder why I love the Z-man, I mean, besides his in-your-face honesty that suddenly reminds me of the girl from Firefly (doesn't take much these days, huh?) who does not have that certain part of her brain that allows her to shift input (perceptions) into her subconscious in order to adjust to social structure... in other words, she feels everything right up front in her immediate consciousness and reacts to it without any filter or reservation whereas most of is have a brain mechanism that allows us to take in events and still deal, for instance a bullet pierces your flesh and every part of you wants to scream and deal with the pain but maybe there's a more pressing matter, like aiming your gun at the person shooting at you and stopping the next bullet from turning your lights out for good, so you put the pain and the fact that you may be bleeding to death in the back of your mind and focus calmly as possibly on the proper use of your gun... or let's say a doctor in an emergency room is sprayed by blood from an AIDS patient who needs immediate hands-on care and instinct tells the doctor to run, but training and that part of the brain puts the risk behind the thought of providing medical care... well, the girl in Firefly had that part of her brain that allows for delayed reactions and suppression of feelings removed... personally, I don't think I have one of those either, but that's another story)... I was referring, rather as an aside, to how z0tl, in literary form, appears to have the qualities that would suggest he may be missing a few filters himself... that is a good thing, at least to me... anyway, as some of you may already know, I hold the priceless honor of being a favorite of the gods here at Diaryland... I don't go flaunting my chosen person status too often, but it's something in which I take much humble pride... if you were paying attention in the notes, you will find that the gods of Diaryland responded to my query about Bobby Burgess (see previous entry) and after possibly confusing the identities of several very long time Dlanders with bits of information that could mean many things (which is, after all, what gods do), the gods lead me on a trail to voopla... yes, voopla now voopla, at first, gave me the feel of a commercial search engine that I'd instinctively close without a glance, but since the gods sent me, I forgave my first impression and checked out some links... at the moment, it appears most of the site is under construction, but it appears that it is our own z0tl creating a web portal and that, dear readers, excites me... asiding for yet another moment, just one look at the mischeif in his eyes oughta tell you that he was drawn to the T-Shirt he is wearing (in the picture) by some subconscious impulse as the shirt is called 'shocker' (more on that later)... first, a serious subject... another web world I was guided to in my linked journey inspired by the gods is The Icarus Project, a magnificent undertaking breaking ground on an internet community for those of us who, according to the rules of order in this current society, feel too much (and maybe think too much, or maybe not enough)... the labels that the well educated psychological community places on deviates who think differently include ADD, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Manic-Depressive, just to name a few... and of course these are all disorders because the mental process and behaviors that result do not follow the standards and practices for order in our civilized culture... it always puzzled me that people who feel more than others are told to stop it... I mean, just stop it... stop feeling so much... stop reacting with feeling to what goes on in this world... learn to ignore the pain, the horror, the torture, the crime, the prejudice, the cruelty, the injustice, the unfairness, self-destruction, the negativity that permeates just about everything human beings do... no, don't acknowledge it, ignore it, don't mention it, and whatever you do, do not feel it... find that happy lithium (artificial medium) so we can all be proper and no one gets upset... it's ok... if big business and governments send yound people to fight and die for property and profit, it's ok... if poverty is sanctioned and perpetrated by government and religion, it's ok... if priests are raping children, it's ok... if Strom Thurman raped his maid 80 years ago and then went on to make rules and laws for your life, it's ok... if President Clinton was a womanizer, it's ok... if President Bush sat like a deer in headlights for seven minutes after being told the country was under attack, it's ok... could have been nuclear missiles that take just eight minutes after launch to wipe out major cities, but it's ok... if you are sucked dry by corporations and then fired because you are used up, it's ok... it's all ok... just take another pill... what is madness?... I rant, I rage, I feel so depressed I want to die, I cry, I laugh, I feel so euphoric I could die happy, I fear, I sigh, I feel so much apathy I could die and not know it, I run, I stand, I feel so much enthusiasm I want to live forever... it is called life, living, feeling, being... you can't handle it, it's ok... but what is not ok is for people who can't handle it to convince other people who can't handle it that they are sick simply because the first group made and follow some rules and the second group sees the madness in the rules and do not want to follow them... but people like to put other people down when they can, so it'll just keep happening... put on a suit and appear to groom yourself, learn to be silent even when rage or tears pours through you, follow the rules of social order in your civilized society and yu are blessed with success... you may be dead inside or so repressed that you are a time bomb just waiting to explode... you may internalize your emotions until they eat you alive and need medical care for high blood pressure, ulcers, and all sorts of stress and repression related diseases... but you will be a pillar oif society... a success... and normal... ah, the power of normal... but feel too much, ride the roller coaster of life and emotion to it's limits and beyond, experience your senses and express yourself freely and, unless you are very lucky, you'll be labelled radical or deviate and either restricted by law or by medical diagnosis... what does it take to stay sane in an insane world and not get locked up for it?... medication, perhaps... strength of will, stubbornness, ignorance or genius, creative ways to dance around releasing the energy and emotion in ways no one can catch you... and come together in a supportive community of others who damn the torpedoes and sail full speed ahead into the great unknown of feeling all we can feel... The Icarus Project is where you can feel at home... see?... even God, the one with the capital G, was diagnosed by a Reverend Doctor as bi-polar... no wonder the gods have touched me in the head today... now you may wonder what the z0tl has to do with all this... he's just the brain behind it all, the creator and benefactor of the just about all of the web worlds linked herein this entry... his genius is showing again... and also, he's amusing... and beneath the rage and within the storms of emotional voids and uprisings, he is a survivor... but amusing too and to prove it he brings us to the T-shirt mentioned above... it's time for you to send the kids from the room if you tend to protect your kids from words and the concept of sex... see, the sign on the Z-man's shirt is sexual... yes, sexual, I said it, he wore it, somebody sold it, and now you are reading about it... sex... and fingers... the hand sign is loosely (or tightly) referred to as "the shocker" or, more graphically, "two in the pink, one in the stink"... this entry was funnier to me the first time I wrote it, but the dear servers at DLand chewed it up and spit it out and it had to be re-written (yes, it had to be... excuse the biting sarcasm, but it sucks when an entry was going so well and I forget the cardinal rule of online living, never trust the server ever... and no, it wasn't some power in the sky, it was the server, but then, anyone is free to believe in anything, even flying spaghetti monsters)... where were we?... ah yes, the flip flop of emotions, the roller coaster of feelings and serious irreverence or vice versa (and vice versa)... and yes, the cartoon up top was a deception cleverly placed to throw you off track in determining the phrase's true meaning... it's now that later promised earlier so more to come has arrived... the hand sign, which is formed by pressing the four long slender fingers together and bending the ring finger while bringing the thumb up close next to the palm and poised for the most important part that you'll understand once you get started with the practical lesson, and the phrase two in the pink, one in the stink, has much deeper meaning... and just in case you still do not get the meaning of the sign in the top left hand sign graphic, here are additional euphemisms for your edification and amusement:
this is where you can get a similar T-shirt (not exact replica of the Z-mans, but then, genius can not be replicated)... another T-Shirt... another T-Shirt... you might want to know more about this and you can find some history on the net... or you can consult The Urban Dictionary for various definitions of two in the pink, one in the stink and as it is always known, shocker... finally, the following visual aide is for those of you who have still not figured out just what this T-shirt and hand sign is all about... please note the fingers are labelled to assist you in your understanding: (please note the importance of keeping your nails trimmed) This entry has been brought to you by the letters V and A and the number 3...
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