what am I doing still awake?... I barely slept in the past few days... don't want to miss a thing?... of course... but the intensity of my hunger to share (and desire to not waste as little time as possible doing anything that is not sharing, even sleeping alone) is acute, intense, fierces even, iin recent days... it does come in waves, or cycles, but I went to read nicim this morning and realized it is more than just the usual intensity of feeling alive and waiting to share pendulum... I was writing the following note when my eyes opened:

I seldom sleep much on the weekend and go to work Sunday night running on empty, intending to fall out most of the day Monday for at least eight hours of uninterrupted slumber. I did not sleep much yesterday because my roommates needed me and woke me as I was just passing out. At least that is the excuse I told myself. Looking at the rambling entry I wrote in deep stupor and I left on my diary yesterday, I see that the constant weather news on the TV was haunting me with memories of last summer. I am torn between "wow, exciting" and "phew, lucky it didn't come here." The stress of last summer has not completely dissolved it seems as it has me quite alert this morning (along with the caffeine that kept me awake at work all night) and I've changed the channel to "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire." Still, I am way too alert for having slept less than four hours in the past three days. I shall make use of this groggy alertness by trying to focus my eyes and read what comes up on my screen and rambling on about whatever is inspired in my spacey head. Naturally, I came here (cuz I love ya and can curl up and be comfortable).

There isn't much we can say to people in the path of a storm as profound as a category 5 Hurricane, or even a 4 or 3 (as if a 2 or 1 is easy). The simple fact that they most likely will not be able to read anything we write for a week or longer because they have no power, possibly no phone line, is a harsh reality that can bring home the helplessness of our position. The unknown answers to the obvious questions makes it worse. Did people we love get hurt or worse, did they lose everything or something, and at best, how challenging are the hardships and inconveniences they must live with for weeks, maybe months?

Ironically, it is we who know what it is like to be in their position and we who care about people who are struck by the majesty and challenge of a storm and the hardships mother nature can bring that are left to comfort each other. We are safe, comfortable, concerned and pmaybe feeling a little guilty for thinking, "Thank goodness it didn't happen to me." Helplessness is a horrible feeling, especially when we care deeply.

There are links to information and ways to help. HERE and HERE and of course there's always The Red Cross (just call 1-800-HELP-NOW and ask "How can I help.") and The Salvation Army, both great places to start.

Related to this, if you own a home in an area prone to floods (and have not been flodded), Flood Insurance would be wise.

In spite of what we do, send whatever we can or even find a way to go there and spend time and energy helping do whatever we can, feelings of loss and inadequacy are easy to come by when witnessing the power of nature. The best we can do is remain positive and experience the wonder of the physical universe and appreciate the fragile balance that is life on Earth. Perhaps the best we can do for the whole human race, not just in times of challenge or crisis, but at any time, is to live each moment with all the heart and energy we've got. Care, feel, experience life to it's fullest and appreciate each moment as one more moment we did not have one moment ago. And remember to tell those we care about we care.

I care about you. That feels good, no matter what is happening.

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)