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2006-03-01 - 11:47 a.m. back to the beginning again ok, here's the deal on this entry... I am not sure if I've uploaded it here or elsewhere before and it may be two different entries that never got uploaded or maybe they did in two different places, but anyway, these words have been sitting in my scribble files for a long long time (appropriate song reference, no doubt) and I am finally going to delete them from there and before I do, just in case they were not actually shared in entries before, here they are in this entry...
inspired to return to my mostly dead (no, only sleeping, please) heart, always hoping (I hope hope still lives in me, wherever I might be) that it's not too long gone or warped or broken or perverse or jaded or soured or blue... not too late baby now... always in love with Amy yes, a child's love, but what love could be more pure or real or right?... yes, a long ago love, but love is timeless... yes, unlikely that another human would live through this life, ten year or twenty or thirty or more and still be in touch with that child inside, that purest most innocent most real and true love, but it is possible... I know, for I am. and no dream since has come to show me more for it was the most honest infinite love unconditional belief in sharing something pure unconditional trust creates an infinite love and the first time tells you what your feelings are for and if you can remember you'll always rise above any challenge to find you can know that love once more for it's in you to choose to believe in yourself and believe you are loved more than anything else this is in you to choose to believe you can be as pure in your heart as you were with me and now wherever you are in your lifetime I hope you still feel this true love inside for it was is most honest infinite love unconditional belief dies when it is denied unconditional trust creates an infinite love and the first time tells you what your feelings are for and if you can remember you'll always rise above any challenge to find you can know that love once more for it's in you to choose to believe in yourself and believe you are loved more than anything else this is in you to choose to believe you can be as pure in your heart as you were with me let's not pretend it's always easy being vulnerable can be dangerous in this world where people are so confused love can feel like getting hit by a bus but shutting down does not make it better denial only helps the pain embrace your heart and let your love go and it will come back to you again for love is not a person love is your own heart when you dare to share it you can feel it start every time's a first time when you give it all remember the feeling and let yourself fall and now wherever you are in your lifetime you can still feel this true love in you for it was is most honest infinite love unconditional belief that your love is true unconditional trust creates an infinite love and the first time tells you what your feelings are for and if you can remember you'll always rise above any challenge to find you can know that love once more for it's in you to choose to believe in yourself and believe you are loved more than anything else this is in you to choose to believe you can be as pure in your heart as you were with me yes, my Adam was Amy and the miracle of life for me was realizing it never ends for it is inside of me and I can share it again... it is unconditional love and unconditional trust and believing in the promise of everything and forever, the infinite giving that is falling in love and all I need to do is do it... and it all becomes real again J
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