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2003-10-24 - 4:42 p.m. awake so long, it looks like sleep to me here we are again my friends, so welcome back (hmmmm, I sense a song coming on... or is it already plagerized, mangled, and long gone... anyway, hi, how ya doin?)... I was awake when I started this, but somehow along the way I got caught up in a ridiculous fantasy basketball live draft where nobody showed or even joined the league I created so I decided to create six teams and give one most of the best players and see if I can find other players (beyond the top ten ranked players) to put together a team that can compete with the ten ten players (fat chance, but we'll see how far away the best can get I guess) and starting several journal entries amidst the morning (and finding one or two I started on Sally's computer some time ago, but who knows exactly when and does it really matter?... only if you want it to) when suddenly I was nodding off and setting my teams at the same time and then Sally came home and we went to Tony Roma's endless slab and picked up a pint of ice cream on the way home and pow, I am a over-stuffed balloon floating in in and out of consciousness when I remember that I was writing an entry so I downloaded mail and found a cool and rather ambivalent (almost aloof with a smile) breeze coming from the north and enough of that for now for it feels like the same old game and then another email reminded me I found the hokey pokey somewhere and emailed the diary writer but now can not find the diary that inspired me (maybe I will later because it sure would be nice to share something meaningful again, if that is possible) so I watch the cats play with their new toy (did I mention we stopped at the pet store and saw rodents hiding in plastic boxes and flightless birds scurrying around an open bin?... surreal and sad) the following pieces of entries now become the entry for today just because it's time to clear out the buffer or pipes or whatever... I don't know if I already uploaded the entry that seems to be in progress below, but here it is again or for the first time for what it's worth cuz it is worth mentioning again... still laughing, even in dreams... laughter abounded when I stumbled upon this emergency list of last minute Halloween costumes, so I pass it along for those of us who use our imaginations for activities other than dressing ourselves (hey, we can't all be Punky Brewsters ya know)... the Yankess are playing in the baseball World Series again (just one more unconscious sign of the arrogance of this country to call the national pasttime championship the "world" series and then not let any other countries participate, but we are not the only country in America either and we dominate the name, don't we?... heck, the whole idea of nationalities is ridiculous at times when you consider the name itself was Italian at first... but that's another story... as is the insistance of calling natives Indians when they had names and were never anywhere near India... oh yeah, I forgot, might makes right, right... yes, we are the world, we are the children, la la la)... against the Marlins this time... once upon a time I was a New Yorker (even dressed the part) and now I am a Floridian (seems that combination is as common as the Yankees making it to the Series), so the game is the background music for tonight... I roamed around DLand for a while tonight visiting random diaries that had names that caught my attention... lots of very cool reading (and I left some notes of appreciation which hopefully feel as good for them as they do for me)... I think I was supposed to recap the party and who remembers now, but there was several chinese entrees and sides and fried chicken and sides and cake and presents (The Cat in the Hat and Things 1 & 2 were from me) and it was fun until there was some upset over my somehwat odd way of trying to win a card game that seemed to be taken a personally and it didn't feel good at all and I was supposed to accept defeat instead of trying to win and I never will understand the narrow view of some perspectives, but hopefully it'll iron itself out (even though it appeared to repeat itself tonight when I did exactly what the other players did but when I did it is was challenged as wrong by one player and the rest of us were trying to figure out why and it's kind of taking the fun out of the game to take it so seriously so maybe I'll just do my best to lose for a while if that'll make them happy cuz it is only a game and the point is enjoying it and I enjoy playing more than winning or losing so it can be just as challenging to lose without letting on that I am deliberately losing as it is to win within the rather arbitrary rules that seem to all say lose or we'll call you wrong, but then, it's just a game, right?) hopefully... I am obviously becoming way too good at human frailty and unwareness and stupid pet tricks... there are very few people in this world who would understand all of this entry and that is probably as it should be because it was a hazy shade of winter and I'm feeling way too alone to be understood and I don't like pretending so I think I'll pause now and refresh...
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