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2004-02-11 - 6:59 p.m. as it is... waking up I find that one of the windows I left open froze so the laptop had to be rebooted and there were words lost... mourne the loss and move on, if possible in the same moment, for moments are the most precious things of all... live to create as little waste as possible... I must be getting boring... not boring as hell, not bored stiff, not bored to tears, but just plain ordinary boring, so uneventfully boring that there is no reaction, no hell or tears or anything, just nothing... bored to nothing... but then, life is as it is... whatever it is supposed to be, whatever it is meant to be, however it is presented, it is as it is... not enough here to inspire anything in response, notes or comments or emails or whatever... does anyone check in on a daily basis... I don't know... do the words inspire anyone to want to know me, to want to communicate on a regular, maybe even daily closer basis?... apparently not... does this life I relate here bring any intimacy on any level into this life, to share caring?... will I be here tomorrow?... will you?... will anyone?... what did you do today?... tonight?... what matters to you?... what do you want?... how are you going to get it?... can I help?... do you want to help?... to share?... to care?... want to talk?... keep in touch?... be friends?... really?... anyone?... I could give the presentation more flair, reach for style points or cleverly playful phrasings or other tricks of light and language, but that is not why I come here... I come here to remove the wrapping, to get naked and bare life as it is... and it is... writing, work, sleep, gym, and other people's influences... music is missing... intimate one-in-one love is missing... I wake today to Independence Day and the second half catches my ears and eyes as I try to find where I left off in this laptop... as the movies tails towards it's end, Precious falls asleep on the couch, Rasputin heads into his bed, my evening begins... a few hours to get to the gym (at least an hour), cook, eat, shower (and so on), dress, and get to work... today an extra fifteen minutes for a stop for a flower for my secret Valentine at work is scheduled in my mind... time is running out, as usual... 7PM... and that's life...
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. . . . . the moment we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)... connections . . . . AND WHATDYA MISS? Can You Laugh At The Sky? DSandDrew It's Been A While Just a Moment (Proof of Mice) A Moment of Forever older still random chance who me? leave a note? (read archived notes) send me mail? you want to know me? soundtrack 101 Things The Sequel The Trilogy 202 Things 200 Things 202 More Things 202 Things Again testing123 have time, love words? sleepwriting (where the heart dreams) and now, in RealTime� and then, (e)thereal and now, briefly, in case it matters and now, the dirt, drama, and details (babbling) DO ME! (Johari Style) DO ME WRONG! (but do me right) SOAP! (EPISODE ONE) (the dark side of candoor) loving linkers other loves A Diaryland Survey other surveys small world your profile matters (search for you & find me) tell others read others applause? favor? gift? get your own! saturn rings and other places googlisms browsing where've ya been? the searchers favorites 911 HEY AMERICA! LOOK AT YOUR CHILD STOP THE ABUSE (GET THE CODE) THOUGHTS ON GOD ( temporary attractions ) BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE! WAS #1 @ MSN! (for a while, now on page (EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS) RSS? who links here blogwise Blogarama Globe of Blogs blogthings ~ BLOGLINKERS ~ ~ BLOGROLLING ~ Blogroll Me! published blogadvance blogazoo blogexplosion blogmad? bloglines (PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS) TSUNAMI INFO fantasy sports? BLOGGIES? sorry everybody Orange Blossom Music Festival Deland Music Festival MIT Survey brilliant idea Celebrate Birthdays FOR FREEDOM CONTINUE... talking dog SAY HELLO 407-325-1482 and if you want to leave take good care hope you make a lot of true friends out there |