sitting here (still saying thank you) browsing the DLand world on and off all weekend (and yes, there will be much more interesting and creative entries to come from my wanderings here and there and elsewhere, so stay tuned this week) I napped a bit and come out to sit and browse some more... but first, I look around the space to give you an update on the immediate physical environment because somebody did ask and maybe there's a little more interest out there than there is in here (speaking for my brain) and something new occurred in the last few minutes that we'll get to as I ramble on about the living space a bit... in case you didn't notice, I shifted into the serenity prayer mode (much more my home than most) a couple of months ago and I accept that I want a roommate more than I want control over the space so I adjust and live in the shared space even if it is not always as I would like it if I was paying closer attention to the details... for your reading pleasure, since curiosity was presented and may be widespread (don't panic), I offer this slice of life...

Rasputin's clothes are in the dryer so I didn't get to do the laundry I almost started yesterday as his laziness is feeding into mine and oh well (why are we laughing?... cuz kids like us love getting away with stuff like this I suppose, huh?)... after an improvement in the cleaning chores over the last month or so, it's slacking off again... Precious is gone for the summer and Rasputin is in major pain, the semi-diagnosed malady involving his nervous system, I think... shooting pains through the neck, back, legs... I apply stick-on icy-hot wraps now and then when he calls for them... he doesn't sleep much because the pain is worst after laying down... it's been getting progressively worse over the last weeks and this week his chiropractor is on vacation and ol' Raspy is barely able to move... I wish there was something I could do for him, but short of shooting him to put him out of his misery, even the docs seem stumped... I'm lucky we don't have a gun, cuz he'd probably ask me to do it...

he's trying to sleep now... anyway, I was sitting here listening to fireworks and the door opens and in walks an older woman I don't think I've ever met and I'm like, "hello?" and she walks into the kitchen with a supermarket bag and says she bought a six pack if I want some, or something like that... apparently Raspy's mom moved in while I was napping... he didn't mention it just ten minutes ago when he came out of his room... I think it was a few days ago that I do recall him talking about her needing a place to stay and wanting to move up here with us, but it's kinda odd to have her suddenly walk through the door while Raspy is asleep and he without a mention all weekend of any concrete plans for a new roommate... she said she hopes to find a new place soon... I guess, since she's in Precious's room and Precious is due back from summer vacation in about four weeks or so...

the good news, perhaps, is that she will be around to help him get out of bed and put on icy-hot wraps and drive him to the doctor or emergency room if necessary... she seemed timid and respectful, so i'm going to go about the process of trying to make her feel more welcome and comfortable now (family is family, as I see it, even when I do not know they are moving in today)...

we could have at least cleaned the place a bit to give her the impression that we prefer it tidier than it is, but then, maybe we've reached a point where we don't... yes, Raspy has a good excuse, his constant pain in any movement... Precious has the perfect excuse of being a thousand miles away... as for me, I don't need no stinkin' excuses, I am the happy camper who rolls with the flow and lives in my head, where clutter and random placement of everything is the status quo, so why should I pretend that the living space should be all that different?... just cuz it might make a good impression on someone who might come over?... well, there's the answer then, I am not into making impressions, I am into comfort and being real... and my friends and family and anyone else who wants to know me will love me for being me and not for the way they might want me to be...

cool deal for me, I think, except when I am stupid and let loneliness try to convince me that if I lived in a model-dream home I'd find the one to fall in love with and she'd live here happily ever after... sheesh, how dumb can I get... the one for me is definitely not going to be the one for be based on superficial stuff like the momentary placement of objects around the living environment... why is it that we tend to focus on the easiest things to change when we want to moan about how things are not the way we'd like them to be?... rhetorical question, of course (oh, do I?... nothing like a little self-mockery and fireworks to keep things level, huh?)...

so life is good (except for the loneliness for intimacy, which is a constant desire) and one of these days I'll do the laundry and dishes and tidy up my desk and finish accounting-up the bills for the past year so Raspy and I can figure out who owes whom what and then I'll sit back and continue doing what I do which is quite satisfactory for me wherever I am...

meanwhile, I've been blissful babbling in other worlds, in my fantasies and rhymes as I've falling in love (or found more inspiration, whichever comes first or whatever we might like to call it today) again and am in the midst of adding a bunch of entries to the place where I go when the wonders of ethereal emotion bubble over into words (and if you don't know where that is by now, you are not paying attention or you must have just gotten here... see candora for further details, though it might be a day or two before the particular rush of inspiration is actually uploaded there... feel free to explore yesterday's inspirations if you like while you wait... and thank you for your patience...

PS... there was an entry written yesterday that was probably rambling on about this and that and whatever and finding more literary inspirations in rambles people leave out on the web and when I find it I'll upload it cuz time, as we've noticed, is relative...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)