it is my day off (actually, I just got home from work so this would be my Friday night in time normal-speak, it's just ten to twelve hours earlier, and glancing at the date above would be confusing, as usual, so only do that if you want to enjoy the sweet confusion of timelessness) and I am wired and I barely slept two hours yesterday so who knows what might happen... I need you more than you need you... if only you were here... if only... the one was here...

and I love you for it...

seriously, no reason to fret over my sanity or stability... while true, if I could afford it easily, I would most likely fly or drive around the country following Meg and Dia for a few shows, maybe a few weeks (eternity is such a long time to plan for, after all), I am still well within the walls of my safe room (yes, feel free to coin that phrase as the latest way of saying I'm OK if you like... still within the walls of my safe room �2006, Candor Communications) and as you can see, ready and able to focus and babble on about anything and everything and I am not totally fixated on Meg and Dia and only Meg and Dia so help me Mergatroid...

those of you wondering who Mergatroid is can ask Bugs next time you see him or do some research on the Warner Brothers website (if they have a reference there... if not, then you'll have to go to the studios and research their archives... or I could tell you, some other time however, because that's besides the point and my digression has gone on long enough for the moment)...

oh if only... the fact is, in this life, what I did for love is almost as unbelievable as what I did for the love of music (not even scratching the surface, barely a tickle)... and what still could be, oh, if we only knew... the reawakening Evanescence almost sparked (and every other awakening of the last five years, or is it ten?... sheesh, am I that old into this dead zone?... cry me a river and drown me in it) was subdued by the work schedule... this working a full time forty plus hours a week gig is a killer for the creative life...

but there is hope (there is always hope)...

Spill Canvas was the kick start this summer and a lot of other new bands (many playing on the 2006 Warped Tour, but others, like AFI, as well) helped my musical engine along and now, Meg and Dia supercharged the creepy crawler (yes, well, that's what the engine is called after being mostly dead for a few years, ok?... it's a multi-phasic ... engine that runs in non-linear time if you must know more detail, but for now let's just address it as the creepy crawler so we maintain the harmless humor of the whole conceptualization of my frailty as a human and if you're not laughing you obviously did not have my life experiences, so no worries and moving right along) that keeps me going in this life (lubadubalubadub)...

and the roommates arrive... and as usual, I talk, listen, and whatever I am doing pauses, in this case, this entry... they are family, after all, as close to family as I've got... Precious is going to help her twice-ex-boyfriend (they are in the off-again stage at the moment) do some community service project that all the kids in her special IB program have to do (and they get great benefits for being in the program, like free college, for one, so it's all worth the extra time and work in the end)... after that, her best friend is taking her shopping... and Rasputin woke and came out and parked on the couch and farted, as usual... I don't think he ever gets enough rest... he works even more than I do... I don't think he ever runs out of gas either, though he falls over (more like plopping down) and sleeps in odd places from time to time...

if I lived alone I'd write a lot more, probably have a lot more money, exercise more, and might even have more social life... but then, they are family and I love them, bad habits and all... though it's gotten to be confusing who started some of the bad habits since I've succumbed to most of theirs (I seldom fart though)... I'd have more time for other things too, but unless I found much more social life, I'd be lonelier...

so I'll keep them, I guess...

two things that have fallen by the wayside this summer are blogMad and how ironic that the MaDness of blogMad has been usurped by the madness of work and life and now, MaD (Meg and Dia, of course... what?... you didn't realize?... oh you silly) and fantasy baseball... Rasputin tells me I am still in contention in many of the leagues and that I am still in first in a few (amazing since I've not checked up on any of the teams since he got back from the Ukraine and that was the only time I checked in since the end of June)... music has replaced just about every online activity except blogging (and you know this diary was gone for six weeks... heck, this is still the tail end of the catch up entries, after all)...

I decided I would use my ears while I still had them...

and see?... I actually got distracted from Meg and Dia for several paragraphs... so I guess I won�t stalk them just yet, since there must be other more obsessed fans ahead of me in line for their attention... but I did post on their bulletin board on their site (posting on boards has always been a rare thing for me since I got burned out on public forums a while back when newsgroups ran wild and free on the Usenet and anarchy reigned on the internet and nobody was actually responsible for anything...










I might be back to this one...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)