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2004-12-05 - 5:58 p.m. yesterday I did so really want to keep up with myself in real time, but my addiction to distraction is consuming my attention span and distorting my desires so at any given moment I might prefer to watch teenage aliens on TV or perform satistical analysis on sports data or lose myself in some chocolate decadence just as easily as I indulge my love of the written word... so i'm barely writing and hardly reading and that, for the writer/reader in me, sucks... but otherwise, life is plugging along handsomely... yesterday I was supposed to (in my mind) gather words written by someone else and put them somewhere online because the words appealed to me when they were read into my ear, but as this is the first I am coming back to the online written world (which includes email only a small percentage of the time), it's still on my mental drawing board... working through simple logistics of formatting the words and then deciding just where to put them (probably where I put others prose, huh?) comes after I satisfy my selfish hunger to ramble on about myself (which is the pattern I've slide too comfortably into ever since I found myself living this life without a love interest or partner in mischief, but before I start the usual lamenting about loneliness and wanting to be in love again, I'll try to think of something else)... it is not easy having a one track mind... it's even more complicated having a multitrack mind when all the tracks sing the same old song in multi-part harmony... here, for no apparent reason (without even remembering what the link leads to), is a distraction that probably belongs in a browsing entry if I ever get around to organizing my scribbles and putting what belongs there there... except for all the advertising, this is cute and even, just maybe, a little clever (advertising and pop ups bring any creativity down)... and since we're pulling snips from the files to avoid introspection and lonely lamentations, eeeek, please don't let it come to this (the eeeek, I presume), my roommates might never eat again... it is really strange when I save links and write a few words around them and forget completely what the links are about... but then, randomness has it's value... I love your notes... see?... and on a completely different note (suddenly my mind flashes back to Monty Python's And Now For Something Completely Different which leads me to Woody Allen's Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex or was that Allen Funt?... anyway, that has nothing to do with this next thought, whatever it is or was before this parentheses happened... aherm), leave it the squirrel to let me know we can create our own toolbar (not that I'm into those things, especially not on my memory-deprived computers, but it's still another toy I'll probably play with someday)... wow, candoor the brand... ego loves it... there, that ought to get our minds of on less personal tangents... so what else is new?... I took more surveys, in case you're interested and have time... so many ways to learn about me, what with all my secrets spilled out all over the internet... I mean, if you've got the time... and I sit here continue to hope the love of my life (and old friends too) will stumble across my net presence and get as excited as me and want to rekindle the warm fuzzy feelings that we used to share by being real and honest and vulnerable with each other... when was the last time you laid next to someone and stared either at the ceiling or the stars just talking about whatever and hopes and dreams and stuff until the sun rose to surprise you as you didn't notice the time passing?... blessed are those who keep their true friends close enough to share the night air, walk hand in hand, and see the depth in each other's eyes... hmmm, this distraction thing may not be working as well as I had thought it would... and so my thoughts turn to music (save me, sweet sanctuary) and I suddenly hear the music of the night (oh dark Phantoms, how I love your haunting... and how I wish to share them for the first time once again) and say farewell... anyway, that was yesterday...
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