one day, while wandering around DLand, I read this and I think I was inspired to write the following:

I so want to believe that everything will come in time, that what goes around comes around, that the love I gave will equal to the love I save (or get and saves me) in the long run, but in those moments when it feels like it has been such a very long run along, and desperation, the enemy that brings blindness and bliss that too often turns false and into despair, it is somehow good to know someone else understands the angst of unfulfilled desire, a longing that words can barely begin to express.

and I figure there was a moment or few where I would have wandered back to candora to continue the inspirations inspired there back when I was there last week or shortly before that, but I was distracted by life and stopped uploading entries everywhere (except the brief notes in my exercise log... over there, remember?)... I mention it here now and then, see:

As I dragged my tired body to the gym tonight, I walked through a pool party where everyone seemed to know each other. With that ammunition, I could depress myself for days with lonely laments. Hopefully I won't. Feel free to encourage me not to (as I encourage you not to focus on the downbeats and find hope wherever you can. Even if it's only in words from relative strangers from far away). I'll do my best to believe you care too.

ok, so that particular mentioning might have been in someone's comments and not exactly here, but then, this is the catching up time, the catching up entries, the midst of a catching up week, after all, and it is all chaos, like time and the universe, after all... linear time is just an illusion, ya know?... and that particular mentioning (of the exercise log, which is mentioned mostly because I could occasionally {or often, even} use some encouraging and motivating and a life-partner and so on, but that's besides the point which is besides the point which is interjecting itself into this entry that is made up of mostly side points anyway) also points to the loneliness that seeps into (or out of) everything I am about in this life I relate into words here for your perusal... but the point is I do mention it now and then so you might actually remember... and the point was (I think) that I did not update anywhere (did I even read or write an email?) except the exercise log and so I did not get back to candora to continue (or start again) to explore the emotional inspirations that came from here and here and here and even here (thanks Will, I'll get the nuts next time) and other places too, but enough name dropping, huh?...

what?...

but anyway, the point was (there was a point?) that I am catching up on this week, which would be the past week if you were viewing it from today and the upcoming week if you were viewing it from the appearance of a beginning given by the order of entries that we find if we start at the entry that came after today which would not actually be tomorrow, but rather, last week, or maybe nine days ago, or actually today if we're lucky and wise, whichever came sooner...

ya folla?...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)