and I rise again as the sun is hanging low in the sky as I stumble out of the bedroom and gaze at the living space... it is the hazy just-woke-up euphoria (I am reborn each time I open my eyes, remember?) that helps me forget that I do not look closely at this living space, but ooops, I did it again...

clutter is the name of the game as things are left just about anywhere... there is not one clean square inch of kitchen or stove countertop, the kitchen floor is sticky, and the garbage is full again... the fridge has bloody meats in it again (I mean besides the full shelf of Pepsi), which means more stink because the habit is to let the meats sit and leak because they don't like to cook (most of the perishable food they buy and all leftovers are thrown out unless I eat it) and since cleaning is only cursory and very rarely at that, well, t is not a pretty picture... or smell...

I bag up more garbage and I go to my computer space... the CD copying was halted apparently as the programs are closed because Precious needed to use the computer because her dad's computer is in his bedroom and he's either at work or asleep most of the time she's awake and my desktop is in the living room cuz it was supposed to be the temporary communal computer until he bought her one for her room so she could do her homework at her own desk (which has not been obtained either so she does her homework in front of the TV in the living room)... she asked if I'd sell her school candy at work and complained about not being taken shopping again (she has a list for school and needs more clothes and it's been put off for... a long time)... poor kid, but I can not afford to buy her everything or take her everywhere she needs to go and dear old dad is oblivious to just about everything that isn't shouted under his nose...

family ties, huh? (it is a situation comedy, actually, and much more interesting than living alone... though I might actually invite someone over to my place and expand my circle of friends {and family} if I lived alone, which is the primary drawback here)... I really was not up for becoming a head-of-household again (I am so not into the power and control thing) for I prefer to remain in my mostly disorganized wandering aimlessly phase... but some of you might understand that when you love people you put up with their bad habits and inconveniences... and when alone, you hope to find someone who will accept you with all the baggage and situation comedies and dramas as you are... take me as I am (what's that song?)...

obviously I need some time in the land of the mostly dead (which is where I go when I want to release the angsts, throw a pity party, have a good catharsis, clean house, and remember...

did I mention I went back to the gym again yesterday? (ah, the good news)... I don't think so... in a life devoid of physical activity outside of what I do by myself (I refer to the immediate physical spaces), there's no discussion or motivation outside of myself to do anything so I forget the gym easily... anyway, I did another 50 minutes on the step cycle and the machine said 910 calories and 4.87 miles... maintaining minimal satisfactory results even though it was a summer of lazy distractions and physical challenges...

and I joined another ring (started by augustdreams who lives about an hour away from here so one of these days (when I am not looking so closely at my current living space and more focused on the wonders and excitements within and around me {which is where I really live}, we'll meet and have some offline fun)... in case you've never been, you can find the rest of the rings this diary is part of here...

and then, just here, I fell in love again... it is easy (for me) to fall in love with someone addicted to learning... I believe everyone should... so thank you again (about time to mention where title of this entry came, huh?), and again...

it is so true and so important to remember, especially when whining about dirty dishes or complaining about surface dirt or focusing on clutter... the forest is made of trees, and not all of the trees are alive and well and pretty to look at or smell, some might even be moldy or teaming with life (that you might call an infestation) and dying or dead... but the forest is beautiful...

remember that, as I do, when you fret over my less than pretty entries, when you worry over my whinings... we do not see things as they are as much as we see things as we are... that's from the Talmud... it's on my reading list too...

and now, with the blessed inspiration that comes from a few moments browsing the internet (and a little venting), I am going to the gym... if I do not get back tonight before work, please do something wonderful for yourself before going to bed tonight... or after going to bed... or both... for, in the cliche vien of a mind is a terrible thing to waste, I say... use your imagination before it uses you...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)