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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-03-25 - 8:22 a.m.

help help, I'm clueless and I can't...


this is a two part entry about the caring-impaired... it was uploaded as part of a catch-up upload to insure it would pass into the archives with minimal notice so as not to disturb the complacency or undermine the apathy of human culture... in other words, if you are reading this, thank you for clicking back to entries past when I upload multiple entries and the next paragraph is probably not for you because you apparently care and are here of your own accord...

and I love you for that (even if you don't comment)...

what, you expect maybe I won't tease you for once?...

remember one thing, no matter how serious the situation gets, don't panic, remain yourself, and find a reason to laugh... follow this advice and I guarantee you more happiness in life than anyone who does not follow this advice... scientists will prove this someday, but until then, you can just take my word for it... or not, it's your life to live as you wish...

at your own peril...

those of you blogmadding through are welcome to pause (or open this entry in another window) to read an atypical (at least I think it's atypical) entry for me as it is rather negative and calls humanity stupid (not you, dear reader, unless the shoe fits, that is)...

and everyone else who actually comes here to check up on life in black and white behind the candoor can prepare for a taste of my bile (though prepared with a fine wine {or is that whine} and a heavy sauce of sarcasm so it might be palatable)... and now that you've seen the menu (and read the warning label), it's time for a little work rant or two...





Night One: ADHD Staff and Patient Care

ok, it doesn't seem to matter how well people are trained when they work side by side with senior staff who continue unprofessional and unsafe work habits... working the night shift without adequate supervision allows for staff to develop very poor work habits... the way I see it, if the cat must be away most of the time, the least they can do is hire more intelligent mice with at least a modicum of work ethic...

I mean besides sleeping in the hallway (of a psychiatric ward) when you are supposed to be watching kids... what our particular mice here do is discuss other patients within earshot of patients, laugh at crisis situations and make fun of the patients involved, and vent negativity or even hostility about patients in front of other patients... assuming a kid is asleep as you carry on a discussion about other patients who were in crisis undermines their treatment... even if they are asleep, I say it is subliminal abuse... worse still is venting personal hostility about the job and specific patients... but for years night staff have been allowed to do just this and of course, without any checking of the discussions, it escalates to downright neglect and abusive verbal interactions with kids who wake up and confront the offending staff...

I do my best to keep that from happening when I am around...

for one thing, I don't understand why anyone who has trouble relaxing would take a job where the most important skill is relaxing and sitting quietly for eight hours... I suppose they choose a night shift job because they have such ADHD type habits (easily distracted, poor concentration, extremely fidgety, rather poor awareness of their surroundings) that they can not keep a day job where those characteristics would not be tolerated... unfortunately, in a night shift hospital setting, peace and quiet are the two basic essentials... and yet I find so many people who appear unable (or at least unwilling) to sit still and occupy themselves with a quiet task like reading or writing or perhaps even doing some paperwork (but we wouldn't want to ask too much of them)...

now I can be as ADHD as the next person in my personal life... in fact, it's quite fun to let my mind fly off in a dozen different directions (perhaps you've noticed)... but I also love reading and writing and can sit quietly for hours doing either... in fact I love to, which is why the night shift is such a perfect fit for me...

anyway, back to work, or rather, venting about it...

at the moment here at asylum de candoor, two youths are on close observation tonight due to suicidal behavior and two staff sit right outside their doors to maintain a constant visual observation... unfortunately they are lost in a discussion of other youths 'acting out' behaviors... one of those staff have been cautioned repeatedly over the years for inappropriate language with the youths, so you can imagine her conversation when youths are supposedly asleep...

and of course the staff are not supposed to leave the hallway, more specifically those two youth's doorways at the moment, because both youths are awake... hearing every word, of course... and then the staff will wonder why the youth does not fall asleep and/or reacts poorly to them (creating a cycle of confrontation and blame that no professional should ever get into)...

one of the staff is a senior staff, as I said, who has been spoken to many times... the other is relatively new and trained well and seems to have the right attitude, but is young and apparently without that essential skill of staying awake in quiet solitary activity and so definitely showing signs of picking up negative habits that are so prevalent in this place...

and I sit here trying to distract myself from the fact that they ignored my caution about letting the girls hear their conversation...

supervision?...

there is none tonight...

bring it to the attention of supervisors and administration?...

it's been done over and over in public and in private...

as I've mentioned before, the supervisors do not do their job of supervising or disciplining the staff that develop the bad habits, therein indirectly empowering those staff to continue those habits and encourage new staff to follow... worse still for any conscientious and caring staff is that the lack of supervision allows the offending staff to confront, often with rudeness followed by disregard, a concerned staff person that asks them to stop... I generally do not get the rudeness or disregard from most staff for whatever reason (I suppose I can be intimidating when i want to be, or so I am told) and my serious silence and occasional glances up at their conversation at the right moments (when an obviously inappropriate statement was made) as I've been typing this has redirected their conversation on to non-patient related subjects...

and that's the best I can do in this system...

so what else is new?...

I am remembering that the last thing I did before coming to work was to leave a note for tarkis about separation in regard to a post about family and how challenging it can be to communicate peacefully with those who are supposed to be closest and most caring... I've explained my family situation often enough (for me at least) and can relate well to the post... I think the biggest problem in families (when there are problems in families) is the same problem that creates problems between people outside of families and that is boundaries... some people just do not seem to get where they end and another person begins... or where their life control ends and another's begins...

perhaps you see how the situation at work tonight relates...

respecting human boundaries is an awareness and skill some never learn... that's why I think tolerance for the ignorance (or lack of acceptance) of human boundaries, especially in families, is the most important skill any of us who are aware of the separation and individuality of beings and responsibility can learn... certainly we can do without the assumptions and intrusions that a lack of respect for boundaries brings, but we might not want to simply walk away and have no dealings at all with our family...

the fact remains that we do not have to empower them...

we do not have to empower their ignorance...

I accomplish this by remembering that, ultimately, any power someone else has over my emotions is power I give to that person... and that I can not completely control how they act, who they are, what they think, or what they do or say... but I can influence and guide a situation by remaining calm and aware and pausing or glancing or clearing my throat or saying a poignant word or few at just the right moment...

from my personal and professional experience, ignoring as much of emotional or psychological negativity as possible whenever possible is the best way to remove it's power... any attention given to the negativity just feeds more energy into it and prolongs it's potential influence... silently not taking negativity seriously while still acknowledging a silent awareness of the results of the negativity redirects the negativity back to the person projecting it and they then can choose to escalate or realize they are not getting what they want, my attention or reaction, so they can try a new approach...

it is a matter of addressing (and therein judging) the results, the actions, and not the person... keeping such a non-verbal (or verbal or in some cases physical) interaction from becoming a personal power struggle is the essential skill any mediator must have and ultimately, a skill every one of us can use...

the same principle can work for physical negativity, though it's much more delicate work sometimes... ultimately, my way of dealing with negativity (or anything) may not be right for you, but the important thing is it works for me... and for what it's worth, there's no grand line of people complaining about it and just maybe humanity is better off for my small input...

besides, hanging from a cross has been tried before and look how what people did with that....






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