LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-02-07 - 5:35 a.m.

and why I write


good morning... I browsed around a bit this morning, catching up on some old favorites (and of course dreaming of knowing the people behind the words better because I am so totally in love with their minds) while Precious sleeps on the couch cuz Rasputin would not be able to get up from the couch if he and his aching back slept on it... poor guy... he goes for regular chiropractic adjustments and has had xrays and just got an MRI done, results saying surgery is not necessary... they are still looking for the right method of treatment so he can sit in a movie theatre with us without it feeling like a horror show... somehow he still moves a few thousand pounds of fresh and frozen seafood around at work every day (cuz the upper managerment at the Seafood wholesaler where he works does not realize that a shipping manager needs to supervise more than actually load trucks and then they wonder why they are telling Rasputin that he's doing too much of the loading/unloading)... backs are weird... they seem to hurt most when they are not in use...

anyway, I quietly woke from my nine hour nap and slipped into my big green chair to visit with you for a bit before they woke up to fill Saturday with fun and excitement... if I am wise I will get down to the gym as soon as it opens (I know insurance costs are the reason the gym is no longer 24 hour access, but that still sucks for us night people) since I did not get there yesterday due to changing my circadian rhythm again (that's the routine that is not a routine, if you follow, that keeps me from working out daily... somehow I do not think it is wise to push the body/heart to maximum limits when it has not been allowed to sleep for more than twenty four hours, but then, what do I know)...

and I was thinking about writing as I sat here listening to sleeping breathing...

sometimes I think of writing is an investment in something... maybe in knowing myself and hopefully someday sharing myself... as if every moment of this life that I live is worth sharing... as if every moment is worth recording for catch-up.. as if every moment is part of who I am, part of all I want to give to someone... share with someone... someday... somehow... somewhere...

this diary is the daily routine... the mundane details... the little things... the unfiltered, uncreative, unformatted, unadulterated, (uncooperative?) attempt to share everything with someone during this time when nobody is around in the physical spaces who wants to share everything with me...

does that make any sense to anyone?...

and Rasputin just woke and he and his diet pepsi walked over to his computer where he sits and farts and does his thing... he doesn't write... I think he reads mail, browses websites, plays fantasy sports and solitaire... he knows I diary/journal, but I don't know if he reads... I use his computer sometimes and so the addresses are in his address window, pages are in his cache... he doesn't mention it... we all have our hobbies, our time-consuming activities that we use to fill the void, the time we spend alone with ourselves... a lot of us spend a lot of time on computers (on computers, as if we sit on them?... well, semantically it may be more accurate to call it in computers, but then that is even more of a stretch when reading the words literally... and I do tend to find humor in reading literally more often than not... what do we mean, anyway, in anything we say or do?... ah, but it is not time for a philosophical tangent just now)...

us DLand (or any diary/journal community) folk have a common, as in similar, hobby... for some it's a lark, an ego trip, a work of art... for some it's a memorial... for some of us it is an addiction, for others an obsession, for some maybe even a prayer... for me it is a hope... a hope that somebody will stumble into my web of words someday and find me and more... find me to be the one they have searched for to complete their journey through this life... we all have a purpose, even if we do not want one... even if we do not choose one... my purpose, by choice even though I don't think I had much choice deep down because I never wanted anything else nearly as much, is to share life in love, to share intimacy and completely open honesty in every moment with someone else who can and wants to do the same thing with me... such is the relationship I seek in this life... this is what I really want to do with this life most of all...

so as far-fetched as it seems, I write to record the life, to explore my hopes and dreams and desires, and to share every moment I am here when I am alone... and sometimes I wonder if I am alone because I write and maybe so, for my love of and dependancy on words places a prerequisite on the one I seek to be as much in love with words and reading and writing as I am so we can communicate and record our shared lives when we finally start sharing... this is why there is candora, where the dreams are live (and are nurtured without interference from the mundane details and frustrations and bumps of life)...

through words, I communicate the journey... much of it is repetitive routine... I suppose there might be some form of art in trying to make the brushing of teeth or the wiping of one's anus a unique and interesting read, but that is not why I am here... at least not today... it is to release myself into words without thinking about the process as form or structure or how the words might be read... it is to record life without thinking about who might read or what reactions might be... I know I mean no harm, that is enough... it is to prove I was here, to be real even when real is boring or monotonous or apparently worthless...

here, in this dairy, I write to keep in touch with my fingers, to keep my fingers in touch with the other twenty-odd hours of each day... to remind myself that I am just a poor shlub riding the bus on my way through life, just another character in the play I write with every breath I take, every move I make... just another hopeful friend looking for another hopeful friend, looking for a mate, looking for the answer found in someone else's eyes... trying to make my way home...

to read is a great adventure... to write is a great adventure and interactive experience... to live in and out of words, that is the greatest adventure and experience of all... but to share it all, that is my dream...

and why I write...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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