LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-05-25 - 10:11 p.m.

so what's going on?


I mean, besides the fact that I am consuming too much caffeine and sugar, not getting nearly enough exercise or loving, and generally treating myself with a glaze of apathy, ambivalence, and nonchalance... bake at 325 and baste often... and then join me for cocktails at blogmad cuz I'm not through with them yet even if I took a bit of a vacation this week (and this entry took forever to complete and my intention of getting a few more done and getting over to blogmad today was thwarted in real time as you shall see if yu actually read the entry below and don't just click to your next credit not that it's all that exciting to anyone who doesn't care, but maybe you care and don't know it yet anyway, continue)

I've been working... I mean, of course I've been working, but I mean I've actually been working at work instead of rambling on in my own writings as I'd been doing for some time... what can I say, the place is a mess and I can occasionally be conscientious... in recent weeks administrators have been flooding me with appreciation (unfortunately, none of it comes in the form of cash and the prospects of any pay increase are substantially less than the likelihood of hell freezing over, if hell exists and is the fiery place it's purported to be, that is, but it still feels good to have the old ego stroked in the work world even if it's most likely meaningless, transitory, and as likely to change as the wind)

unfortunately for us, that means fewer words

ironically, if you've been paying attention and took the time to check up on me, I actually am sort of keeping up the RealTime blog in some manner of blogging and while it amounts to a post before bedtime, so to speak, summing up the events of this life as I've lived it since the previous post, there is some touch of the babbler peeking out on to the world wide web for you

I mean, we know you just can't get enough of me, right?

oh please, even I have to laugh myself down from that one maybe you'll get the joke eventually but only to set off on another egocentric flight of fancy, of course, as the bigger surprise than the RealTime blog is the fact that the onion blog has seen it's fourth post yes, that's right, fourth posts in a blog on a personals site from the 50M kid I was never much of a sprinter, but seeing the 50M under my picture makes me think of track and field or water sports, being the irreverent that I am

I miss getting physical

on a serious note (not that missing getting physical wasn't serious), now that, at least for anyone who noticed (and so many will in this culture before they notice anything else), I may no longer be accepted as nearly as enigmatic and the ageless child cartoon character I often appear to be in my literary appearance

truth:

does the 50M change your perceptions or expectations of me and my writing?

of course only those who will say "no" will comment, right?

ok, maybe I should have said on a cynical note

I wish we didn't live in a world where the 50M suddenly puts me in a box that excludes most of the humans online today from relating to me the same way they did before, but that's kinda why I don't relate well to most humans the fact is (if you can handle the truth), I don't know how to be a 50M by our cultural rules and I am a proud failure at living up to the world's standards see me grin and throw out my chest (and back, for the humor of the image) and the fact is that I relate much better to 5M and 5F and below, truly, because there's much less prejudice, assumption, fear, and stupidity there if that offends or upsets you, well, find someone else to put in a box, ok?

now the few of you left with your hearts and minds wide open (or at least striving to get there) and understanding that honesty is the only way to be real and everything else is fiction (fine for a lark or a party, but not where I want to hang my hat and put my head down each day {or night, in your case} with my partner in crime), thank you for your patience and love your continued reminders that I am not as alone as I sometimes feel are manna in the wilderness of loneliness

and back to being the seriously irreverent me

maybe but definitely back to thinking about the new onion blog, I've noticed that they do not allow outside links at there, so I must resort to subterfuge in text and hope interested readers will search for candoor at diaryland and the dot net as I suggested so they can read more of my babblings and find the actual introductory pages I attempt every now and then alas, the rules and restrictions of our culture are only emphasized in smaller communities, especially online and that's why I lose interest eventually, because I don't mind putting on a set of rules, like I don't mind wearing clothes when I must or dressing up for fun, but I prefer, when most comfortable, to be free and naked

I don't know if the writing there will differ much from the writing here, but it might if you check out any of my other blogs I'd appreciate knowing whatever difference you might see they each have some purpose, however vague it may appear sometimes, but whether what is in my head is actually sorting out into the various writing spaces is not always easy for me to see from within the piles of words

so suddenly I am maintaining three different blogs on an almost daily basis and the fourth itches to be daily again too (and I won't really be coming back to life until the mostlydead return to daily logging of the workouts that will be worked out daily, so can I maintain five daily blogs and work out an hour or two a day and still work full time and find some sort of actual offline social life (cuz what's the point of living without that, after all?) and then there are all the others and the rest of the written gardens online, I mean, if you have those few years to catch up and scratch the surface)

time will tell

meanwhile, I'll keep listening for time's answer as I ramble on about this that and the other thing and talk in text with Smash and feel the love of Moo and ponder the puzzle of Pf and love you (and them) and you too

and life just keeps happening

Precious came out of hibernation (she's been in her room a lot lately on her first days off for summer vacation) to share music and her life of late her boyfriend kind of silently put their relationship on hold again (last time he did this, last year, he dumped her on Thanksgiving Eve she's getting a similar vibe, so she shut down and lost herself for the past few days in downloading seven hundred sixty eight songs, approximately her coming out might mean she is ready to find herself, confront the boy, and deal with wherever might be going on, which might mean this day is going to take a sudden dramatic turn ah, to be seventeen again and ride that roller coaster for the very first time as if every turn was the beginning or end of the world excuse me whilst I get a bit vicarious here)

anyway, I think she sensed I was awake and slightly wired today (as opposed to yesterday when she emerged from her room just as I was nodding off to la la land) cuz I don't have to work tonight (three day weekends are the next best thing to four day weekends, you know) and so a seventeen song CD plays and we are chatting and so I shall return later to finish this entry

. o O ( as bubbles of time and emotion float by ) O o .

and a bit later, while she goes to answer her phone, I return to ponder my navel and the story of a life as some of the music she chose inspired my sleeping inner child to peek out and smile (which is always a beautifully bittersweet experience for me) and as if this next segue was bound to happen, the music fit well into the mood of the other entries and the smile, just as these words written by atypical_grrl did inspire me to peek out thusly:

I love you for your thoughts and feelings you put into your words
as I see a silly grin behind a serious smile
the child inside my heart peeks out to ask to be your friend
and hopes you wouldn't mind coming out to play for a while

maybe we could dream that we lived in the house next door
so we could shimmy up the tree to the second floor
and window call on each other any time of day
and always have a friend who wants to come out to play

and maybe it's a silly dream to share
but maybe you'll decide you want to care

it's just something I do like making rhymes
even if I am on the wrong track
and I like to wave at people some times
cuz somebody might wave back

I must thank the Waterboys for that last line, but the wave and hello is all mine and now yours hope it adds a smile to your day (cuz you've added one to mine)

yes, my fantasies and realities are snudging their respective lines for a bit in this entry, but I liked that comment so I shared it here to show that theonion was inspiring me a bit and now, back to life, back to here... and now... the song list for the CD Precious made, in case you are like me and must know everything (and I so love you for that), shall be uploaded to CD Stacks just as soon as I can get Precious to read it off to me from her head (cuz it isn't written down and I don't recall every song in my head cuz, although almost all the songs were familiar to me, I did not know connect the artist right off)

kaboom

the ka ka hit the fan and the party is over my Precious has been dumped again well, sorta let down easy, perhaps he wants to stay good friends close friends Freud says he apparently can't deal with his emotions and needs intellectual barriers and now that he's said "let's just be close friends" he's all talkative and cheerful and asking her to come to a party tonight and the movies tomorrow and who said it's the girls who are hard to figure out?

I'd so be a lesbian if I were a girl

so ok, it was about eight hours ago that this entry was going full steam ahead after theonion and the blogspot entries and the previous few entries here were uploaded and there were good intentions to provide the rest of the previous few entries and the incomplete entries prior to those as well, but what with Precious having a red alert we talked for hours, performed a boyfriendectomy (hopefully the operation was a success) and then went to her favorite place for food and dessert, Chipolte and Jeremiah's and now all good roommates are tucked away in bed

I suppose I'll get back to the seriously irreverent me in the next entry

I'll just upload this one now before something else goes wrong and delays it another eight hours besides, this body and perhaps even the mind desperately requires some sleep as it's been more than 30 hours since the last time I turned off the bouncing ball and I am beginning to see at least two of them

so now you know where I've been (hey, that's what the blogspot is for can you see it, blog wars inside my head between all of my blogs will I be the only one cracking up? probably, since nobody else is in there even though it may appear to the contrary I'll just shut up now)






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
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bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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