LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-06-10 - 3:48 p.m.

most of all, wanting more time


if I don't get back to babbling and updating here the rest of my online life slips off my plate cuz there's just no time (and other psychological disturbances) and then you wonderful people who miss me are neglected and that sucks and I feel like a selfish pig and nothing good can come from such spirals...

so here's another entry, for better or worse, slapped together impulsively because I found something to share (and I think I am actually organizing my head and the written gardens {which is an extension of my head} a bit, which is a good thing)...

today I found a few hundred megabytes of words I wrote between late 1993 (when I got a new computer, the one stolen in 2001 by the friend who tricked me into trusting her to keep my stuff at her place) and early 2005 (when I moved up to Toronto for a while and put the computer in storage and relied on a borrowed laptop)... so much angst and tragic comedy in those years as I danced most nights past dawn in the downtown clubs and was enjoying an early retirement and life was a party all the time...

I have a lot of stuff I can "cheat" with now as far as entries go (shhhhh, if nobody knows then everybody will just think I'm still babbling as I always do and haven't slide into a slump where I've only found a few words to post here this month so far (and nothing yet for Smash who deserves much better than the blah I've got going in my fingers these days)...

so this entry is coming from old stuff and I'm uploading it as much because I don't have any more room on the computer to open another file or folder to hold it in as much as I am still introducing my crazy self to you and the world here in this journey behind the candoor...

I'm not actually sure if this next bit of what I found belongs here or belongs somewhere else (like candora or a personals or something), but I put it here so I don't forget how much of an impossible dreamer I have been in this life...

(links to follow, someday soon I hope)

some years later I wrote my wantlist that seems to be more realistic, but I figure I ought to look into this list I wrote in 1993 for clues about myself (to see how much I've changed and hopefully grown)...

I dedicate this to Dawn, who in 1993 inspired me to think about what I really want in a relationship (and why I probably won't get it and must find lots of compromises) and to Gigi (Toronto) who in that same year inspired me to write this list that follows...

ok, so what did I want in 1993?...


* someone to love who can actualize sharing everything all the time without letting fear or doubt get in their way... a seeker of truth above all else... and a purist who can live dreams in reality...

* to share my written gardens (preferably with someone who has gardens of their own to share)...

* to know someone believes in me unconditionally because they trust their own intentions and ability to actualize honesty, love, a relentless quest for truth, an unmitigated mastery of fear, an insatiable thirst for all that is positive and wondrous, a hunger for love that can not be repressed, extinguished, or quelled, an innocence that allows the extremes to be a playground, an unwavering security and confidence inside that overcomes all fear and doubt, and desire and will to do it...

* someone who believes in my voice and loves to hear me sing because of what it does for them and for me and who will not hold back or ignore or hide or repress in any way how it feels...

* someone who is real and who doesn't let fear or anything stand in the way of showing it...

* someone who loves to play and knows how to do it and wants to do it with me...

* someone who can be true friend, honest lover, closest sister, real mother, compassionate devil's advocate, quixotic coach, understanding editor, passionate audience, creative inspiration source, and above all else, equal partner in a symbiotic and mutually dependent relationship in this life...

* someone who wants to share everything day and night and yet still knows and respects the value of "alone time and space" and who earns and gives it justly and magnanimously and right on time...

* someone who is not afraid to trust unconditionally and depend completely, but who knows and actualizes the difference between "want" and "need" clearly and fairly...

* someone who can give and take sharing to both extremes and nurture and be nurtured with faith that the balance sought will always be found because they is what we both want most from each other and for ourselves...

* someone who wants to explore and organize all the "stuff" I've accumulated and created over the years, whether or not they have "stuff" of their own... and someone who wants to create their own "stuff" for the meaning and fulfillment of themselves and for the sharing with me and the world...

* someone who has an insatiable hunger for knowledge and the desire to quest beyond all limits and the will to press on for the fun, for the invigoration, and for the sheer challenge of it...

* someone who dares to quest for perfection, knowing it may not be possible in this life in this world for us as we know this world and being here, but who does not accept giving up or compromise when there is any choice to the contrary (and who knows that there always is at least one)...

* a lot, eh?...

well, I can see some changes I will make when I find time to ponder and revise it, but essentially the core of what I want is still very much there...

someday I'll update the list to reflect the me I am today (change a few words, maybe add a few things, who knows) and either update this entry or put it in a new one...

for now, I'll try to find time later for more...










. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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connections

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
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once upon a diaryland
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stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
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you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
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sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


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(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
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tell others
read others
applause?
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gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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