LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

SUPPORT BLOGMAD! BUY STUFF



o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-10-16 - 6:02 p.m.

and this is where I wandered today...


I am often told that I write too much... some have told me that it is the volume of my babbling (and therein the exposure it allows) that keeps people away... ironic, if this is true, that my sharing so openly (and so much) in words is the reason I do not actually share much in the physical world... are people really intimidated by openness that much?... perhaps... but then, I would not be me if I shared less (or wrote less) and what would I be sharing if I modified who I am or how I shared in order to share?...

how many entries have vitally important information that is missed because another entry becomes the current entry before the other entry can be read and you, like me, don't always have time to read all of one long entry each day, no less several long entries (and then how many diaries and websites call for your attention and can we be online every day that much?)... and so do we share fragments and therein distorted images of each other?... and therefore do we create images in our minds that fit what we want each other to be like and would rather stay with that than really get to know who we really are?...

moot questions, or rhetorical, for me at least... for I am a chameleon and can adapt to anything (or anyone)... and I have in my relationships... there is a stable core within me that allows my interests and focus to be flexible... I can enjoy almost anything and for the right person, will give up anything (yes, anything and yes, I have) for it is the human sharing that matters more than anything else for me... maybe the thing that keeps me alone is my acceptance of change and the way I welcome it (instead of being so afraid of change that I avoid it at all costs)...

I watch the political ads on TV for the two parties... one plays on people's fear of change, completely ignoring the current candidate's record in office but focusing on what might happen (and how horrible they say the change would be)... the other plays on the potential improvement a change would bring... and people who base their decisions on fear, especially on fear of change, will vote for the incumbent... it doesn't matter how good or bad things are, change is always worse... and those who are not so fear-based in their decision making process look forward with hope and vote for change regardless of whether the change is for the better... it doesn't matter how good or bad things might be, it can't get much worse... one view turns pessimism on the past and optimism on the future... the other view does the opposite... and the actual issues, well, who has time to think those through...

so maybe I avoid politics and religion because it is so superficial, because people stay in the shallows and questions become meaningless without answers you can believe in deeply... do you reach deep within yourself for your own personal answers?...

or are you afraid of what you might find?...

most of the time I am writing just to pass the time, to imagine sharing... I want to share so much (as someone said in their profile about me, I want more) that I will imagine I am sharing by writing these words, I imagine you are reading and whether you respond or not, I am somehow entering your mind and becoming part of you... if just for this moment... even just on the surface... and I keep hoping I reach deeper into you, with words through your eyes to your heart where you dare to open yourself to possibilities and find your own personal answers... maybe we agree and maybe we disagree, but hopefully we touch each other... if all we have are words, then may they be all they can be... I can only do my part...

so I sit here in the big green chair on another Saturday afternoon, the TV blaring college football, the desktop computer copying library CDs, and the faithful laptop on my lap... I'd much rather be cuddling with someone who fits me like a glove in every way or even settling for an acceptible compromise (since perfection is rare in this world, but we can enjoy each other and still dream with and for each other)... and in the absence of the chemical and psychological and physical attractions, I'd much rather be hugging a true friend and sharing interactions than sitting here tapping these keys and imagine sharing in your minds...

and because all I have these days are your minds, the treasure they are for me becomes all the more evident to me as I ramble on in quixotic desperation at times, so hungry that desire becomes need... I am cursed and blessed by my vulnerability... and these are the moment when I wonder if I will become old and gray and still be alone... and I wonder if it will continue to seem more challenging each year to find someone who fits me...

and I wonder as I sit here... will I lose my flexibility, will I become so sedentary and locked into habits that I do not respect or even like myself anymore and therein not longer fit, in the actual physical world, the person who fits me in the inside...

perhaps, as some suggest, I do have too much time to think sometimes... but as I view my life from the inside, usually I am distracted well from these potential unpleasant possibilities... I am insulated, by isolation and an overload of sensory stimulation, from feeling the loneliness and unfulfilled hunger to share...

so I indulged in the absolute deliciousness of cream (leave it to Guelph, to know ice cream, huh?) today...

and this is where I wandered today...

and this is where I wandered today...

and this is where I wandered today...

and this is where I wandered today...

and this is where I wandered today...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






SAY HELLO
407-325-1482





and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there