LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
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NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
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THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
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The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
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FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-09-01 - 3:14 p.m.

thank you Barbara Streisand


feeling lucky?... well, maybe this is cheating or maybe it is just making the most of the inspirations handed to me by you wonderful people and life and the universe and everything, but this entry is gonna contain a couple of long comments that at least a few of you may have already read... maybe this is part vanity (part?) or maybe it is some sort of validation, but I can hope that it is not all personal gratification or cheating, that the words inspired elsewhere are worth putting here as an entry because more of you will appreciate them...

so let's begin with the second comment I just wrote (moments ago) because I think it says more than hello (and while sometimes maybe we can have each other at hello, more often we want something more because hello can be quite superficial and maybe even be some prettied up instability or unpleasantness, but I wasn't wandering off the subject or referring to Tom Cruise and his sense of humor {I mean, thatwas a sense of humor lately, right Tom?} at all, was I?)...

well there we go, this entry is no longer just a couple of comments... it's already taken on a life of it's own, jabbing insults at movie icons (wait, Tom Cruise is still just one icon, right?) and having fun with words and concepts that may or may not need to stretch beyond reason to fit into the flow of this entry... but returning to the flow of this entry, in case we were out of it, it was Serenity and Quasar9 and others over at blogspot (where my RealTime blog still resides) who inspired the following comment... it would probably behoove us to go read the specific entry (it's not long) and comments (at least quasar's) that inspired the following words before actually reading the following words...

go ahead, read the entry and comments...

.

. o O ( reading elsewhere music ) O o .

.

you are reading elsewhere, right?



well, there's always hope you don't cheat yourself out of the full spectrum of experience and counting on you to follow through beyond the hello (that's later, anyway), I shall present to you with no further fanfare (and without jumping on any couches) the comment inspired by the Serenity post linked here again and Quasar's comments... ready?... ok, go:

visiting you is like coming home on a cold dreary night to find the light on and a warm mug of hot chocolate and an old friend curled up on the couch with a good book to read...

or something like that...

I am sleepy... and smiling at your words... and at your commenters too... I think you and quasar9 make a lot of sense and there is part of my mind who calls quasar's comment cynical and your comment naive and another part of my mind remembers seeing John Lennon walking the streets of NYC open to stop and talk to anyone who dared look him in the eye and say hello and that first part of my mind sneers and says, yeah, and look where it got him and second part of my mind smiles and dreams of the time when more people imagine what John imagined and... realistically, I like the second part of my mind better than the first, but just as realistically, I think the first part of my mind is why I lived in NYC for so long and did not get killed there...

I wonder if that makes sense outside of my mind... or to anyone who did not live a few decades riding the subways and walking the streets of NYC to work and shop and calling that amazing concrete jungle home... I hope it does...

I feel sad that in the practical daily physical world, love for all is often suspect and rejected and painted with a fool's cap, a jester's crown, or even with evil horns... people project their fears and call it realism, but it may just be cynicism, seeing the glass as half empty... but maybe seeing the glass as half full all the time is just as skewed a perspective...

balance requires seeing and feeling and walking both sides of a street in both directions (is that four different perspectives?... at least, perhaps)... and perhaps such a path leads to indecision and perhaps that indecision is a cop out... or perhaps it is simply waiting for the day when enough people open their eyes and smile at each other when they step off the subway... singing imagine... and laughing at the fool's we've been...

I don't think it's the mind that is limited... I think it is the choice we make to use less of our minds, to blame lack of time, being in a rush, and anything else for justification for closing our eyes and accepting a less hopeful perspective...

I take a deep breath and wonder how long I can keep finding the hope to believe in love (as an Elton John song comes back to mind, cuz it is all I've got)... hopefully I will keep finding it until I take my last breath and then, whatever comes after that, hopefully it is refreshing too...

in my life, I choose work that allows me to love in each moment, work that tests my ability to rise above my own fears and see through the masks others wear, work that dares the cynic in me to challenge me... and sometimes the cynic makes a great point and I feel depressed, but I have not gotten stuck there and feel great when I realize that dark perspective is just fatigue and stupidity and me fooling myself into forgetting that no matter what, I can imagine...

and that is the first step toward doing it... and I wake and go out and do it again... smile at people... focus on the positive... accept the fear and hate and anger and negativity and give back love... many people don't look at me, many people have nothing to say, many people might think I am crazy... but they haven't hurt me enough to stop me and they haven't found cause to lock me up yet, so I may be doing something right...

if nothing else, it feels good at the end of the day when I fall asleep and feels even better when I wake...

and I trust that feeling...

even if I am wrong :)


keeping in mind that my mind doesn't mind writing in a sleepy stupor and I was quite there as I woke from an impromptu nap that followed this entry written just as I returned from another long work night and breakfast with Bert and Elpien and other work people because Bert leaves for points north for good this evening if all goes well with packing and stuff today and I wrote in RealTime and nodded off and woke a couple of hours later and returned to read my comments which contained a wow new person giving me what ego loves and the rest of me blinks at wondering if I deserve such a comment...

yeah, keeping all that in mind, for what it's all worth to you, here's the second comment that was written just as I woke and was still very much ready to drag this body into bed and sleep deeply (but instead I wrote the comment and then visited Serenity and read the post linked several times above and the comments and then I wrote the comment quoted above and then I came here (though I did, before all that, vote a few more times for Meg and Dia at MTV because voting ended just moments after I got home today and while they were #1 all week I wanted to vote a few more times cuz maybe I'll be surprised and find out that I voted enough to get a prize in the contest and I've drifted off again, huh?)...

yeah again and well, this (following this paragraph) was the waking up to return to complete the thought that I started in the comment I wrote last night just before leaving for work that appears, if you are curious and crave all the details, as a comment inspired by this entry that mentions me and starts a brand new blog and introduces me to a brand new stranger who inspired a big smile in me, just before the comment following this paragraph you are reading here behind the candoor...

ok, sometimes, when all the world's asleep, the questions run too deep... I sat down here, uploaded an entry and fell asleep... a quick two hour nap and now I am in a happy groggy stupor... nice to meet you, won't you tell me my name... at times like these, they call me the lyric butcher, nobody in particular, they are the peanut gallery in my mind...

they keep me company when I feel lonely so I don't feel so lonely... I used to feel so lonesome I could cry, or die even, but I rarely feel that way anymore... I think it's a choice, or maybe a skill I learned... maybe I'm just fooling myself better than I used to...

I hope it is not a waste of time, enjoying life all by myself... I don't think so, but if I am fooling myself then my judgment is impaired, by default, or logical deduction, or something...

I still laugh at my words and feel more smiles than frowns inside and there's no heavy heart feeling and there's no confused self-doubt feeling, so I trust myself and enjoy the moments...

I appreciate you finding me... and letting me know... and thinking about me in good words... it helps reinforce my belief that my babbling are not a waste of time even more... it's good to have some validation for the me I am when I am not trying to be anything but me, especially when it comes from outside of my own head :)

you are outside of my own head, right? (pardon my laughter and self-mockery, it's fun for me and hopefully not too boring for you... maybe even amusing)...

I hope today is smiling so far and gets even smilier :)


and so we have today's entry, brought to you by you, or at least some of you... hopefully it makes some sort of sense and was worth reading and wasn't just my narcissism masturbating without my knowing it... unless, of course, there is value and pleasure in reading the equivalent of masturbating narcissism (beside for my ego, I mean)...

in the end, maybe the love we save is equal to the love we gave, but there's no doubt about one thing... I am a dreamer and it's great to know I am not the only one (and I do hope someday you will all {and y'all will too} join us) and while I know that need is a choice based on desire (whether we consciously accept that truth or not), I feel more strongly than ever that people, people who need people, truly are the luckiest people in the world...

thank you for being out there as I choose to need you...



PS... huge hugs of thank you so much go out to the-moo and ender because I so admire your hearts and minds and you are both wide-eyed inspirations for me... that is, you leave me wide-eyed and inspired... your being here means a lot to me, a lot more than words can say... so I'll just smile and enjoy it...

and YAY! J






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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THOUGHTS ON GOD

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