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2003-10-11 - 7:40 a.m. trust the universe the muses or whatever bring me here at the moment... since the last entry, which would be almost 24 hours ago, the college football pick em picks were made (tough week to pick em) and I slept a bunch of hours here in the big green chair and I ate (order eggplant parm and subs from Goodfella's Pizza... it's the first time we tried this place and it was great for processed eggplant, excellent portions and prices, thought the delivery took almost 90 minutes because the guy did not have his cell phone and had to go to a gas station to call for directions and still took a half hour after calling)... I cleaned the kitchen, not just cuz it could use it but cuz the cats were picking at the stuff on the counter again and Sally was in the bedroom with the door closed (privacy with girlfriend meant I cat-sit, which meant the cats interrupted me because they have bad habits... taking care of someone else's pets is easy and fun when they are cared for well and have good habits, but when they don't they are a pain)... the rest of the time was spent writing to Toronto... unfortunately, as I was rolling along in the writing, the new old laptop finally presented it's first crash... Outlook Express had a script error when I tried to find within a message... wonder if they know about that bug... anyway, it not only had a script error that would not shut down, it then froze the whole system forcing a power button shut down and upon reboot, the OS was very shakey as if drivers, particularly the cideo driver, were possibly corrupted... it would not connect to the net on the first try... after unplugging the modem card it worked ok, but still had screen flickering... so I am running a couple of security programs as I write this on the old desktop... unfortunately, some of the most meaningful and possible profoundly life-changing words I've written yet were lost when OE crashed and whatever that does to the connection to Toronto and the process of healing or whatever I am doing in this long lingering afterlife post mortem mostly dead time of living in the circular nothing new day to day life... it really drags me down when words are lost for what am I (and what are we) here in this cyber universe - just the words (well, and images and design, but for the likes of us who do not do much with image or design, it's only words and when words are lost, especially near the core answer words, well... the silence is deafening)... so it's a new day and that's what the last twenty four hours was about... being brought down like that, the idea of heading out for a run is supersceded by seeking comfort in some leftovers from last night's delicious dinner... later tonight I promised Helena I'd come over and hook up her DVD player (that she intends to buy today), so I'll be out for a few hours at least and more likely the night as she'll probably rent a DVD or two to watch so she can play with her new toy... this is not the healthy cycle I was supposed to be getting back to, but then, I ride the flow of the universal energy and it said stop this morning, so I stop... trust the universe...
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