LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-08-26 - 6:18 a.m.

dancing to the sounds of throat clearing


struggling through the frustration of losing the time and the words... one of the longer and more detailed and intricate entries (and that's saying something, huh?) was written a little while ago... fool that I am, I was writing it in the Dland box...

and poof, it disappeared...

so much...

it was an entry that started last night and continued throughout the day with many pauses for other activities... so many thoughts flowing freely... so many inspirations... secrets, depths, life...

excuse me while I scream...

loudly...

so the breath is knocked out of me and the feeling of loss now dominates what was otherwise a wonderful day and night... this entry is now tainted with that negative feeling... and somehow I seek a way out, a way back, a way...

and the entry started something like this...

not having enough time to create a decent browsing entry (you can write your own, you know), I let the links pop into today's entry as it flowed through my fingers... and what was lost, well, perhaps it'll come back as this new entry develops...

I did get a few hours sleep after the last entry... not the brief one line last entry that was a tear short of depression and chock full of self-pity and mourning for the lost words and time wasted, but the happy positive last entry that felt even better to write than it did to re-read and it was a happiness that was flowing full and smiling with big teethy grins and cuteness and joyous pleasures of the psyche and... oh well, it was fun...

anyway, somewhere just before the sun came I fell asleep and somewhere just after the sun came up Berry called to wake me cuz it was moving day for her... it didn't take long since Bert had helped her move the lighter stuff yesterday (as you may recall)... after moving, we went out for breakfast and sang songs at the local 50's style dinner that has juke boxes at each table... can another Karaoke night be far off?... after breakfast it was home again, home again, rooty toot toot for a few hours of copying library CDs and and some browsing around and nodding off and finally falling asleep...

but not before enjoying more of your sites and making a few new discoveries... like she's moved!... that's right, our favorite squirrel has gone and changed and reorganized and though there is still some missing features I'd like to see (like an index of quotations and links and information that her brain is just chock full of... that would be time consuming editing, so I understand why they are not there), we can still get right to her past gifts and hope for more wonders to come... if you don't know Xtine (or perhaps it is more accurate to say, if you have not read enough of her to know you wish you knew her better), she's the kind of person you wish would love you because she's got the kind of love best summed up in the word honest which is, for anyone uncertain or in doubt of this fact, the best kind of love (the only kind of love, in fact) there is... anyone who can call her friend or family is blessed, like it or not (with a seriously mischeivous smile)...

so as I was browsing around, I got to thinking about the images we pick for our websites (particularly after a few rather appealing nude images)... wonderful stuff out there... realizing I still don't have any (not just because I don't have a digital camera or a computer that can handle graphics software and files, but cuz I am still not truly awake visually which is why I am mostly dead and sleepwriting, remember?)... and I wonder if we should view our designs and images as deeper messages from our psyche, as secret visions telling more than words can say, as wishes and dreams and hopes... or perhaps they are just shallow cries for attention for in diaries and any literature a thousand words can easily be worth a picture (yeah, literature, huh?)...

and then there are those moments when I find words that rush into my mind with the passion of undertsnaing and the feeling of wisdom... like these: some people develop a wishbone where their backbone should be... thanks... and you know, I know too well that sometimes the mirror doesn't smile back... and through each generation it seems that the little boxes remain the same (and the scary thing is that most people appear comforted by this)... but I still carry my own sky too...

and if you understand that, then you know the magic is the motion, the opening door... through random pauses to experience a moment of your web worlds I see all you beautiful people pouring your hearts and minds out for the whole world to see... oh, what a world you've got to share with it's challenges and pleasures, it's beauty and horrors, it's magic and mystical science... a lifetime of amazement awaits in the potential before you... if only I could be blessed to be with you on this journey... oh the places we could go... oh the visions we could see... oh the things we could do...

being inspired by music along the way, I went here to check out her music and this little laptop is choking on the mp3 it is trying valiantly to download at dial-up modem speeds... so i cancelled the Windows Media thing and will try to remember to do it over at my desktop which obviously needs to be closer to this big green chair so I can access the DSL line and continue copying library CDs without interrupting my browsing and babbling here (which is, of course, the point to life right now, isn't it?... well, that and finally finishing the Harry Potter so I can continue increasing my use of dipthangs and go on to start reading more of my current booklist (I'll have to create a page for a booklist to make that link work now, huh?... I suppose it might help if I created an actual booklist... that would be a list of books, or several... the mind spins off in that direction as this parentheses closes)...

I did not mean dipthangs (or diphthongs, to be more technically accurate), I mean those questions that are tacked on the ends of sentences... tag questions, that's what I meant, but I thought there was a specific grammatical name for it (for want of an editor, he merely dreamed of notoriety and literary respect while toiling mercilessly in obscurity for the duration of his natural life... one more snippet from a writer's tale)... maybe not...

as usual, or at least as is often the case, she inspired me to write to her, so I have another email in the sent file... and I got to thinking and this thought emerged... it seems so much easier to write emails to strangers than it is to people who might actually respond... then again, some people are just inspiring for me even when they are close personal friends, though, sadly, I have not known such a wonderful relationship as that for years... but it is more seriously simply that I am wondering what to do with the emails I write because I want to share them, or at least some of what is written in them, with all of you and I am not sure how... a completely different site (or diary) might be the best way... the question that pauses me from following through on that idea is the anonymity facter... that is, how much anonymity to use (which then divides into the duality of me and the inspirer and the receipient, which is a triality, I suppose, when the recipient and inspirer are different people or sources)...

have I confused us yet?...

I miss my old journal where anything went because it was written with the philosophy that anything goes, but it went into dormancy a while back (like two years, or maybe three?) and has left me wandering through these diaries and other public journal sites ever since...

ok, I just disappeared from here for a while, wrote a letter, ate some pizza, copied a few more library CDs, and coming back to this entry and the idea within the idea that is either a triality or a duality or something like that, this will suffice as a start...

and then I finished the entry that contained a lot of what you find above and a whole lot more (or at least it felt like the writing was alert and creative and clever and much more interesting than this second attempt has turned out... yes, the grass was greener, the roses redder, and the sky bluer, deal with it)... a few hours lost to the slip of fingers and bugs in computer and glitches in servers... but maybe you won't notice if I don't mention it...

do we hear the sounds of throat clearing?...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



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TSUNAMI INFO
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brilliant idea
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FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
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