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2004-03-20 - 12:14 a.m. and then I woke... with the TV still clocking time nobody watching time in the on position, I wake and conclude the previous entry that was somehow ruminating inside of my head all the while I was unconscious, semi-conscious, and barely breathing... all is so right with the world inside of my head at the moment, the air is rarified, whatever that word means... so I bring you the intricate details of the life I experience as life from moment to moment in this physical life as I know it (it's called life, right?)... as for living, one of these days I might actually remember how, but then, such a term is way more relative than life I think (therefore I must be crazy) and I am living way more than some people (who are clinically depressed or catatonic) and the wonderfully nipping sarcasm within the parenthetic asides is further proof of this and other facts previously mentioned in the previous paragraph... rarified, yeah... you really ought to be here... it's amazing how the colors have so much more color in them when eyes open... waking, reborn... each time, even... it's so precious... if only I would write more at these rarified moments... or somehow, if I could bottle it... here's a poser for you... if you could go to sleep at your current chronological age and wake up at say, in a healthy fifteen year old body, would you consider it a reasonable decision to remain as a fifteen year old, given the choice of remaining or returning to whatever your current chronological body age might be?... you lose no memories of life experience... perhaps the reaction of those around you would play an important part of your decision, or even make it for you... perhaps if your loved ones could experience the same physical effect, you'd be more apt to lean toward an affirmative decision... perhaps if you experienced this life as a loner, or even as a alien, and wanted the chance of additional years to experience this life, it would be easier to want such an experience... perhaps if your loved ones (or those you depend upon for self-esteem and respect, like co-workers and peers) rejected you because they let their judgments be influenced by ageism and you did not want to leave your current life behind to start a new life, you'd be much more likely to choose a return to your previous chronological age... can you imagine?... personally, I'd weight the possibilities of what might or might not be after this life span concludes as I know it and what might or might not be the opportunities for experience in the additional time in this life... and stepping back to look at as complete a view of the big picture as I can perceive, I see virtually no reason (other than depressed thoughts and negative feelings) to reject the opportunity for more years in this life... retaining the memories of experiences I've already had is icing I think... if the question is posed without the retention of memories of life experience, that would create a different equation and might result in a different decsion that I am not as certain of at this time... perhaps with further thought... or is that just stupidity talking...
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