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2005-03-23 - 4:18 p.m. stranger melodies and so I find the first person answering my request for a birth date (I'll have to make an entry I can link to to explain one of these days, but simply without fanfare or excessive babble or cleverness, I have this idea about making a calendar with everyone's borth date on it (yes yours, especially) and then seeing how many ways I can create a belated birthday wish the day or week or month after the birth date (the rest of you can all be on time for each other if you want... wait, this list was not going to be public, but then, if you are putting your birth dates in my notes then that's public... I suppose you could send them to me privately if you want to keep them private, just let me know that you want to keep them private, ok?... yeah, one of these days I'll make an entry that explores and explains and expounds on this idea better) is cold, even though being an Emperor and all, slaves should be warming toes and other body parts anyway... I start backtracking to catch on entries and find a request for music to make love to and I think of a few songs and leave them in a note and then I get to thinking how many songs I do not know that might be great songs to make love to (or even turn on for some wild mutually intense sex) and I went to my trusty search engine and asked for songs to make love to... now it really has nothing to do with the sexy little German exchange student liking rap music (why do you look at me that way?), it's just coincidence that the first site that comes up is a rap forum... thinking about it now (more seriously), rap is the last music I thought of for love making, but the wild mindless sex might... then again, there's so much macho posturing and ego tripping and aggressive posing and violence in rap, it's not where I'd go for coming together for intimacy... ultimately though, I must plead ignorance and I'm willing to try any music the right partner chooses... another selection of songs rise out of a popular opinion site and again I find out how ignorant I am because I only know a few of these... there was a time I knew so much more music... most, even... and music explodes exponentially each year and I lost contact and poof, my music mind is shredded lettuce... molding, even... stop the depression train, I'm getting off... I wonder how many subtle (or not so subtle) double entendres you'll find in this entry... so far (who's gonna believe this?), not one was intentional... meanwhile, back to the search for the best songs and music to make love to... I mean, it's no joking matter, right?... I could not tell you precisely why NIN (Nine Inch Nails) comes to mind... or Maroon 5... or Led Zepellin... or Pink Floyd... or Yes... or The Beatles... or the Stones... give me that old time rock and roll, huh?... Cindy Bullens, Joan Jett, Melissa Etheridge... Portishead is a favorite... but specific songs are not coming at the moment (ah, has it been that long?)... there's always the romantic and romantic lyrics, but the throes of passion call for some up tempo sounds as well... this site provided ten songs I actually know, but broke the cardinal (not carnal) rule and had a pop-up pop up when I went there... this little laptop does not like pop-ups... and well I'll be (not the song, but it's a beautiful thought) a hot spicy pickle in your dreams, if (it's just a saying) ixquick didn't go and change formates and stuff on their site and put a family filter on... I turned it off and searched again... this looked promising, even though it's a commercial website... being that I live in Florida, I started there... not that Florida is any more passionate than anywhere else (sometimes I wonder if any exists)... after just a few minutes I realized my problem (well, one of them, at least)... 56K modem speed... I am not gonna be sampling much music on this little laptop... so this entry is gonna be a map to explore on the desktop (which may or may not work tomorrow) or on the grown up computer whenever I get it... definitely need to check out the rock category... so much to choose from... that's it, I must do something about my deprivaty (or is it deprived-ness?... yes, I know, I am depraved too {and not depraved on account of I'm deprived, with apologies to Office Krupke}, but I am referring to how deprived of music and other essential ingredients to a happiest possible life I can imagine type of life... yes, soulmate still tops the list, and music right behind and all around... but this search is too exciting to be sad, so I'll lament another time)... I am in love with Derek Sivers... I want to have his baby... or get lost in his music collection, at least... I want to cohabitate with these people... impulsively, I go here and find too much to see at once... and here... and here... suddenly, I want to live in Protland... errr, I mean Portland... or maybe I mean heaven... drink all the tears swallow the fears nothing is as it appears when it all disappears whatever happened to me?... will anybody ever find me again?... will I? (I'm right here dummy, inside... just hanging out, chillin, waiting for the one and all that, you know, jazz)... so serious... it's music, it's always been music... I used to walk into music stores and pick up a hundred LPs at a time and when CDs came out, I started piling those in my bags... I'd browse for hours, though seldom listen to anything... I'd read covers and look at pictures and go on instinct... the year it came out I bought a demo copy of Heart's Dreamboat Annie for $2 at a little record store called Interesting Records... it's in a box in storage along with many thousands of other vinyl recordings and a few thousand CDs... and that's just part of the collection I once had... once upon a time in the land of Ni there were knights who said play me a sweet melody... though I'm not really sure how it goes... the whole universe made sense to me as if it was part of the wave of my hand as if I could understand destiny and light passed through my eyes to my mind telling me things that words could not explain look deeper inside, a voice said, and you'll find the answer to everything's inside a brain some feel pleasure and some feel pain in the drop of the rain till the A chord rolls back home around to me... wow, this entry began going in a few directions and came full circle around to the back door where light meets dark and love meets loss and passion is found in everything, even apathy and procrastination and ambivalence... when I wore a younger man's clothes and I sang it again as I put down my pen with a memory only the heart knows and yes I did and it felt so good with teary eyes and a smile so wide that I laughed inside as the words came back to remind me that I was still alive... you must remember this, I heard, and I remembered every word... I know that this may sound absurd, but music rhymes with bird for I can fly so high when I'm singing I can hear angel voices calling and the stars, like bells all ringing, into love I'm freely falling... all the years of stalling... still won't stop the calling... and the falling... freely falling... hear the calling... if god is love then love is music and feeling and sharing is hearing and singing, not with just voice and ears, but with that thing called soul, spirit, the whole of being as we are... I would wish for the love and music to return to be shared both near and far... yes that is what I'd wish if I would wish on a star... and if I tried to explain exactly why these CDs were selected for linking here, it would be at best a guess... but here they are now, nonetheless... I'd love to hear what you enjoy J
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