LIFE

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last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


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ONE. . . WHY
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CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
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(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

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NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

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HELP AND BE HELPED
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THE FAILURE


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(202) 456-1111

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FAT MAN WALKING
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last---past---next---now



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itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
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truth out
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global news matrix
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the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




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odd todd
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church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
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fark
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post secret
webby awards
meetup
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landover baptist
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COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

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real doll (p)
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(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
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PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-09-19 - 5:39 a.m.

this is an entry to stay awake


I work night shift, you see, night shift in a psychiatric hospital...

the patients are mostly asleep here, thanks to heavy doses of powerful medications... that is sad enough, that we over-medicate people to the point where they can not think to express themselves clearly and the problem we are medicating them for is behavioral and the only one who can fix it is them inside their drug-altered heads... what's worse is they are kids... teenagers on this unit, to be more precise, teenage girls... a dirty old man's fantasy, you'd say, to watch scantily clad drugged teenage girls sleeping (there are websites devoted to the subject, after all)... well, the good thing about being rather warped in my own brain is that the dirty old man I hope to be someday can be left home and the professional I am today can come to work and be the parental figure these kids needs if they wake up dazed and confused...

nightmares happen a lot here...

and all the little things kids might need when they wake up in the middle of the night... a drink... a tummy ache... a headache... a feminine hygiene product... just can't sleep... wet the bed... can I take a shower?... can I journal?... can I... to earn their grand 2 points for the night, they are supposed to remain in their beds throughout the night... it's worded just that way... remain in your bed through the night... no gray area in the wording...

we ignore that a lot and base the two points on whether the kid had a legitimate reason to wake or whether she was polite if she didn't actually have a reason and whether she followed instructions... rarely do they want an argument at night, their aggressive, defiant, oppositional, psychotic and other negative behaviors are reserved for other times of the day and evening... at night the little kid in them comes out and if we approach them as caring adults, they respond very well... of course if we respond as authoritative guards, they will likely slip into their oppositional pattern... I try to convey this to the people who work on this unit at night and unless they (the staff) have unresolved oppositional behaviors of their own, we generally have peace...

the trouble with too much peace is trying to stay awake...

when I first started here there were few rules (and none enforced) about what staff could do on the night shift... routinely staff would take a couple of hours sleep breaks, watch videos, play cards or games, use computers, and whatever as long as it remained relatively quiet and someone remained alert to any movements or noises or needs in the kid's rooms... staying awake was much easier (and taking a nap when needed was much easier too)...

I don't come to work to sleep, so when they found people sleeping and fired them and issued an edict that sleeping is not allowed on property, I was not effected... everyone else, however, was in an uproar... they depended on their nightly naps as part of their overall sleep... there was a lot of turnover of night staff here for a while and some more people were fired because they couldn't follow the no-sleep rule...

then videos became the activity of choice for staff... nodding off in front of a video was easily covered up as long as at least one person stayed alert and woke you if a supervisor came around (since the nurses are the supervisors and they were the heaviest sleepers most upset by the no=sleep policy, all we had to be concerned about was the surprise visit by a day administrator and that was extremely rare...

unfortunately, staff pushed the envelope again... on one unit, a unit that had a population of teenage boys and girls in the same hallway, the staff set the TV up at the RN station (which was at the far end of the hall away from bedrooms) and zoned into the TV facing away from the hall while kids were sneaking into rooms and having sex... the policy was re-written to include no watching TV, video, etc...

bummer...

we still had our laptops and games and stuff to keep us awake and alert though, so some of us were still happy campers... around here, we mostly played cards and games and most of the other units were jealous of how well we got along and the fun we had each night... but then, somebody decided to bend the rules and watch movies on their laptop and poof, laptops were banned...

major suckage...

not that I was bringing my laptop, but that I couldn't when I wanted to... still, at least we had our nightly cards and games tournaments and stayed happy and awake and alert while all the other units were dreary and grumbling amongst themselves as they were fighting off nodding off... some of that grumbling got loud and made it to administrative ears and yeah, you guessed it, playing cards was outlawed too...

now we are left with talking (which wakes kids too often, but is all most people do) or reading (which puts most people to sleep when they're already tired) or making some work to do (which is loudly and rudely frowned upon right on up through administration)... I bounce between the three, usually in the reverse order as they are listed here, but lately I read very little at work... mostly I create and use auditing tools and create reports...

on one hand, management loves the tools and reports because it looks like they are actually doing something when they have reports in their hands at meetings... but if the report makes them look bad, then they demand to know why I am doing it and they check policy and if it is not clearly written into policy that I should be auditing their area I am rudely told to mind my own business and leave that oversight for administration... recently there's been talk about getting written up for not following policy because a couple of the top administrators were cited as deficient in the auditing...

I believe in pro-active management, so in the past week or so I've started pulling the spare computer they have in storage out into the hallway and have audited much less... those depending on my auditing are curiously quiet in public, but they all are asking me for reports (rather than asking me if there were actually no deficiencies recently, because they know better)... I am citing insufficient staffing as the reason for the minimal auditing because there has been a dramatic decrease in the number of nights we are staffed according to national hospital guidelines, mostly because the fiscal year is up at the end of this month... and since there is no policy for much of the work I do, they must accept my decision or change policy... to get policy changed requires top administrator approval and top administration is very down on auditing at the moment because they are showing up more in audits...

administrative politics is so (sarcastically) fascinating, isn't it?...

so last week (or has it been two weeks?) I pulled this computer out of storage and hooked it up and put it on a rolling cart and bring it into the hallway when I am bored and tired or just when I feel like writing and there is no other work to do (and I can have a modicum of privacy)... and I write about this and that as I do in my daily diaries as I've done for years, babbling on and on about whatever pops into or out of my mind...

and so is born an entry like this... an entry written with one purpose in mind...

an entry to stay awake...






this weekend week the past two three weeks was my attempt to support The Red Cross by participating in Blogging for Relief... the first entries inspired by this effort and the events in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina can be found here:

1 * 2 * 4 * 6 * 7 * 8 * 9 * 10 * 11 * 13 * 14 * 15 * 16 * 17
18 * 19 * 20 * 21 * 23 * 25 * 911
Hey America...


and you noticed missing numbers, of course you did, you're no fools... the missing numbers are the following entries now dedicated to deliverance (from evil, madness, dirty drawers, and many other things) and respectfully dubbed:

The Mississippi Chronicles
Mess (A Message From Mississippi)
Hope (Hope Grows in Mississippi)
Anger (Anger and Angst in Mississippi)
Sigh (A Sigh From Mississippi)
Rant (A Rant From Mississippi)
Pain (Pain In Mississippi)
Rage (Rage For Mississippi)

or Messages From Mississippi because they were mostly guest entries to pass along email from a friend who witnessed Mississippi first hand cuz he lives there... bless him and his family, in fact, do it yourself...

find someone touched by the events of the past week and share some love...

and then go tell Michael and Tim and our own DLand Michael something good J




RED CROSS
OTHER WAYS TO HELP
English: 1-800-HELP-NOW (1-800-435-7669)
Spanish: 1-800-257-7575 TDD: 1-800-220-4095
Hurricane Housing
Blogging for Relief

POST A MESSAGE

You can go into Walmart anywhere in the country, log onto any walmart website, even call an 800 number and either post a message to loved ones or search for messages from loved ones. Anyone can use it.

It is available at any Wal-Mart Store, SAM'S CLUB, Neighborhood Market, or Distribution Center via the hiring center kiosks, connection center kiosks, gift registry, and all Wal-Mart websites.


many ways to get and give help
list of ways to donate or help
more links to donate or help
Corporate Donations Counted
free help to get word out that you're ok






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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