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(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

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real doll (p)
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-10-26 - 10:37 p.m.

I'll stare at you if you let me


so I wake up (work called) kinda groggy to unpleasant news (work news) that will have long term unpleasant ramifications (hopefully only at work) and some cleaning going on (yay) and to find the air conditioner not working (roommies asked why it's so hot in here) so I called the office and they sent maintenance over to reset the outside circuit breaker (which was apparently the problem) and bring a new filter (which needed changing) and sat down in the living room pondering the bad news (work news) and gazed at the TV (you expected it to be off?) to see Cosby meeting Lisa Bonet's boyfriend until Eminem sang a new song on TRL which was impressively political (and at first almost illegal as it walked a fine line on the inciting a revolution thing, which was pure genius and he deserves an award for this one, but it's probably too political for mass consumption) and then suddenly Kevin Kline was denying he is gay for a while until Magnum kissed him and then he instead of saying "I do" at his wedding, he told everyone he is gay and they fired him and the whole town said they were gay and they all sang Macho Man and cow fat was splattered all over the newly cleaned stove and then Jessica Simpson is singing Aladdin (Special Addition) and some cows flash across the screen and to elevate the mood I danced and paraded around the place singing Moocho Cow (to the tune of Macho Man, you know, moo, moo, moo moo moo moo, moocho moocho cow, I wanna be a moocho cow, what?... you never heard it?) and rather than join in my parade they zoned into Sister, Sister (with Milton Berle) and I gave up trying to raise the energy level in this place and sat down to write this and tell you all about it...

applause for Eminem...

and with the Disney channel on in the background, and another channel, and another, and another, I think about... not much... this morning, after getting home from work I ate some eggplant parm and then a whole container of milk chocolate frosting which sent me into a sugar coma and now I have a bit of a hangover... and I'm hungry... insane, huh?... well, I hear a voice telling me nobody wants to use this body for anything anyway, so why not indulge it... and then another voice tells me I am using this body (for life, ya know?) and it won't let me use it for long if I don't take better care of it... and then another voice asks me, what life? and there's just too much laughter and grumbling from the peanut gallery and other choruses to concentrate any more (not to mention Gilmore Girls, Friends, Degrassi and a few other shows that try to suck me in just to be switched to another show that tries to suck me in and living in this ADD household is mind numbing sometimes...

applause for Eminem...

and there are a whole lot of movies I want to see... National Treasure is one... I'll let you know another when the next commercial comes on... bzzzzzztzt... you know Batty from Ferngully (question mark)... well, that's the way I feel a lot of the time I am awake...

I ordered food... Italian, from Goodfella's... a lot of food... enough for four meals, at least... four normal meals... I'll probably eat it in three... or two... no, I'll try for three... now I'll try to distract myself from time while I wait for it...

do you ever stare at people?... how about at specific body parts?... sometimes, while waiting in line somewhere or watching TV (I know, two completely different scenarios and situations), I am tempted to stare at different body parts... eyes attract me most, but people get kind of creeped out when you stare at their eyes (and they notice)... outdoors, when the sun is shining, sunglasses help... well, they help the starer, but if the person who's eyes you are staring at is wearing sunglasses it kind of makes seeing their eyes difficult... unless they are really light sunglasses... light in the sense of lets light through as opposed to not heavy, but you probably knew that already... anyway, staring is considered rude at times by many people, but I enjoy it... I enjoy being stared at, sometimes, but not all the time...

anyway, how about you?... do you stare at people?... or like being stared at?... sometimes?... and if you do, what do you like to stare at?... or what part of you do you like to be stared at?...

I sometimes like to stare at other body parts too... mouths would be second on my staring favorite things list... and speaking of mouths, the food is here... wow, they said an hour... it's only been a half hour... great surprise, huh?...

everything is breakfast cereal... some are cheerios... some are flakes... some and liquid... some are granular... each is a metaphor, a physical representation of a universe, some parallel, some intersect, some others... whatever letter you call your theory, mange, that is, eat well and often, for mother knows best...

ok, so we were discussing staring at body parts (though I was handed the remote as I started eating and switched to the Science channel and noticed a few thoughts that may have influenced my latest theory of everything, expressed in the previous paragraph (which becomes another entry elsewhere, like a bubble colliding with another bubble to form a new bubble and float off on it's own... like a new universe...

ah, if we can only let go of the age old narrow views...

anyway, so I love to stare a faces, you've probably gotten that by now... and then there are buns... backsides... buttocks... asses... whatever you call them, I have a facination for the other cheeks on the human body... especially when clothed in jeans or pants... but I am prejudiced with the other cheeks... I mean, I can find fascination and appeal and beauty in all sorts of eyes and faces (not just those that are appealing to my libido), but I find only specific buns appeal to my habit of staring... I think it relates to my associating negativity with laziness and laziness with fat, so fat asses are, to my eyes, grotesque wastes of human time and I do not get any sort of pleasant feeling looking, no less staring at large bottoms... baby bottoms are cute and most kids and teens have tight cheeks and I guess that's it, tight cheeks... I love staring at tight cheeks... not quite as much as I love staring at faces, but tight cheeks are on my list of favorite things to stare at... while butt cheeks can be a turn on, it's not always about sex... after all, sometimes wisdom and profound thought comes when we're just farting around... buns?...

sometimes it's about puns...

I don't usually stare as a gawker though, that is, I am not usually unaware of my staring... few things surprise or shock me, so I am seldom found staring with my mouth open in some sort of shocked or awed way (though perhaps some readers of my babbling do, aye?)...

some of you might not appreciate my staring habit and all you'd have to do is give me an unpleasant look or or just ask me not to stare... and some of you might like it... I don't stare to mock, but to appreciate... it's not always a sensual or sexual thing, in fact, it's often much detached from the physical as I get a sense of inner energy and all sorts of thoughts (some maybe imaginary) when I stare...

as usual, this is an incomplete line of thought and time is running out for tonight... I was touched by notes left today and by the feeling of being cared about and welcome... that, in part, inspired my silliness (and I successfully distracted myself from work crap that i'll finally have to go and deal with in a few... yay for rambling and your inspirations and my imagination and for visual eye candy... and yay for you, for you keep me remembering that there are beautiful people in this world... many more than I meet each day...

and someday I hope to meet you... I promise I won't stare if you don't want me to (mind if I grin?) J






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