ok, life rolls another challenge at me... besides the fact that I am realizing that when you are the only person regularly concerned with daily clean up in a household, you too easily can fall into the roll of housekeeper... I put away some of the kitchen stuff, leaving the rest to see if anyone was going to do anything to help... I asked Precious to cut the shelf liner to fit and then I'd put away the rest of the dishes... we couldn't find the scissors (not that it was looked for) so instead, she's plopped on the couch watching TV (so I put my headphones on since I was listening to music... the TV in her room doesn't get as many channels because it doesn't have a cable box... and for once I've decided I wanted something else in my head than reruns of Friends and whatever else is on tonight... and the music shall take me away)...

ah, an old sound takes me back quite a way to some strange days indeed in California somewhere in the seventies... who remembers the Electric Light Orchestra, Eldorado out there?... the best thing about living through the earlier years of rock and roll is remembering the development of the music from simple roots of rhythm, blues, and skittle (and I use the term to combine the British and American hill music influences) to where the Beatles and the sixties took it, into the seventies where melodies and harmonics remembered orchestration and more than the few basic rock and roll instruments... ELO was one of the groups that carried the Beatles influence into the seventies, taking huge steps forward by continuing the Beatles interest in reaching back for classical instruments and fuller orchestrations behind lyrical melodies...

and WHAM (not the duo, the feeling), how I miss music...

and with the TV blaring in the background it's almost like listening to the music live in a crowded club with random voices filling the spaces between the musical sounds... so I take a step back into myself and the way I enjoy spending evenings with words and music... Precious is on her own with the TV tonight... she'll deal...

meanwhile, I was relating to another challenge life rolled at me today... I decided to be a good friend and check up on the house bills for us here at the humble abode, since they are all in my name and I have been paying all of them lately and keep reminding myself that I need to find them all (going back to August when Raspy moved in) and add them up and divide by two with some adjustments (like I do not use DSL and wouldn't have it if Raspy wasn't here) and subtracting half of the first four months rent (cuz Raspy paid those months cuz he owed me about that much), adding what he owed me, and then adding in recent moving/Precious expenses I covered (cuz the phone and utilities are in my name) and balancing the books... so to start, I called the phone company and asked them a few questions...

more than an hour later, I discovered that Sam, my former roommate (who moved out on July, 2003) was still on the DSL account (even though the account and telephone number was never his and I spoke the the phone company at least a dozen times in the past six months about their mistake) and apparently my account never did get credit for the rebates and free month (about $200 in credits) that was promised when I signed up for DSL (cuz Raspy wanted it, remember)... a couple of customer service people were doing all sorts of research while keeping me on hold and apologizing for the mix ups... and then the cell phone dropped the call...

I tried calling back and the cell phone was doing all sorts of strange things, but not connecting properly... so I called the cell phone repair number and explained the problem at least a dozen times (because I could connect, do everything the automated voices asked me to do, listen to musak, but within thirty seconds of a voice connection the phone would drop the call... again and again)... I tried the other line (the one for Precious) and that was experiencing the same weird dropped calls when voices came on that my phone was experiencing... finally I went looking for the land line phone and a DSL adapter so I could use it... of course the land line phones were not very charged, being that we never use them and they were not plugged in, so I got through a couple of times then they died on me... and then I used Raspy's cell, which is on a different network, and it worked fine... the repair number person connected me to a tech (why does the repair number connect to sales and customer service?... they didn't know, but "it shouldn't be too long for a tech" of course)... the tech told me to turn off both phones and new software would be downloaded to my phones... should be fine now, I was told... repeatedly... yes, we tried it a few times because I had to call back again because it didn't work...

meanwhile, three hours of my afternoon were flying by (cuz I was having so much fun, of course)... it was dinner time and they were ordering Chinese and I asked for (wrote it down, mind you) shrimp fried rice, shrimp in lobster sauce, and an eggroll... I got shrimp fried rice and lobster sauce and an eggroll... yes, just the lobster sauce... Precious apparently did not order my main course, leaving out the key word shrimp... I looked at the paper she read from, sure enough there was shrimp lobster sauce... I left out the word "in", my bad... I was on the freaking phone in my fourth hour trying to get their DSL bill right and phones to work... I cooked frozen food while they ate what they wanted...

glancing up at the TV (that no one has been watching for about fourty minutes), I am reminded how attractive Kristin Kreuk's body can be to my libido... both girls on Smallville are rather stimulating, actually... ah, I am so easily distracted by Libbo fantasies... of course if I decided to pull off the headphones and get into the story, that would be about the time Precious would come out and change the channel the way she just turned on the TV as if my music wasn't already playing... ah, how people play ignorant to try to dominate a space, huh?... well, for whatever reason she disappeared and left the TV blaring...

I'll call the phone company again tomorrow and try to get somebody there to actually correct their mistakes instead of just telling me they did the way at least a dozen different people did over the last eight months... and hopefully the cell phone problem was a temporary weather anomaly or something like that... I won't think much about the $500+ half year insurance bill that arrived, cuz that isn't the challenge I was referring to... there's the phone company... the DSL company... the cell phone company... and the bills remain unsettled... and the phone isn't working properly... and the stuff isn't getting put away... used to be that writing down all the things that needed to be done was a good first step at getting them done for me... that was true before I became a master procrastinator...

life gets so much lonelier when challenges pile up and no one is around to share them or to lean on or to just remind us we're not as alone as we feel and the challenges are just passing clouds and the sun'll come out tomorrow and what really matters is caring about each other and sharing a few fun moments with friends... alas, huh?...

I do get grumpy when I am hungry and kept on hold for hours, huh?... well it's all everyone else's fault, so there (see my big-baby-pout act?)...

now I am going to remind myself that I must do something in the morning or else (or else used to work, sometimes)... there's the court that screwed up that is forcing me to have to go to the driver's licence office tomorrow (because tomorrow is the last day before they suspend my license because the court did not notify the state that I paid them)... so I took another night off... they'll love that at work...

a little selfish time for me is in order...

back to the music... I scan the library CDs I have this week... here's the list:

Everclear, Slow Motion Daydream
limpbizkit, results may vary
ELO, Eldorado
The Wallflowers, Breach
Gov't Mule, The Deepest End
Silverchair, Diorama
Sigur-Ros
Elton John, Songs From The West Coast
porcupine tree, in absentia
Leftover Salmon, Live
Moody Blues, Seventh Sojourn
Bill Withers, Best of Bill Withers
Various Artists, Elvira Presents Haunted Hits
Michelle Branch, The Spirit Room


there's one more that belongs on this week's library list, but it's buried in the moving boxes so it'll be added later (and hopefully found before I have to buy it)... I must organize the few CDs I have and start copying library CDs more regularly and inject my soul with some sweet rock and roll more often so I can be saved by the music one more time... with or without any help from anyone here in the physical spaces or daily life...

ok, so this entry spanned two hours as ELO and musical memories and then Smallville and the fleeting libido moments passed some time and now as I look for some rhymes in my mind I pop in another library CD I hear Michelle Branch singing All You Wanted right on cue, all I want is someone who cares... and someone to play with would be nice tonight...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)

see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


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