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2005-07-21 - 4:20 p.m. something about love am I being discovered?... I mean, after years of rambling on the internet (you know the links), after thousands of pages, millions of words, time and time again sending my please for love and caring and respect and friends and just a little consistent attention, could people really be noticing en mass?... ego looks hopeful... and I laugh... and then, the heart speaks... naked to words for you anyone caring to read can find what is true ���inside... I've got nothing left to hide I wonder how many human beings really live this life with a true science fiction perspective... I mean, truly believing (and living by the belief in every moment) we are out there alone in these bodies, only to connect through imaginary bonds we call love and affection and temporary bonds we call laws and touches, understanding the experience we know as life as an illusion we can mold into anything we want to believe it is... will you go along with my dream will you make it yours, open all your doors and believe in all that love can seem ���to be... you can share all I can find in me even loneliness is an illusion (so why do I create it so well for so long when it hurts so much sometimes?... perhaps because the memory of the euphoric bliss of the shared illusion of love is appealing enough to create the illusion of suffering when alone... hmmmm, interesting hypothesis doctor... pass the brandy?)... as if it meant something of loneliness and emptiness but what if I would sing ���to you... asking what you know is true has anyone out there really tried eHarmony?... I'd like to hear your stories, if you don't mind sharing... privately would be fine... I'd like to hope there is real hope out there for meeting people after college... all of those meeting-type sites seem fixated with demographics... age, sex, race, size, etc... for me those are the least important aspects of knowing a person and anyone who places those attributes at the top of their list is unappealing to me... different aspects of my mind have different personal tastes, mostly based on genetics, instincts, and memories... how I feel and who I am we must spend time in space studying each other's face ���inside... where there's nothing left to hide for instance, my first loves were all petite females with dark hair, so my libido prediliction is to lust after such visuals (Libbo has a website with lists, if you're interested), but I don't place sexuality at the top of my list of qualities and sharings I want with the one... I could live with an open platonic bond with the one if I found a soulmate who was not physically appealing to me... and have me really respond you must look a certain way take me back to yesterday ���and be... the vision of my fantasy but even as the visual cortex is powerful aphrodisiac, sexuality is momentary and mostly superficial... much more important to me is intellect and creativity, curiosity and above all else, an open mind eager to seek out, learn, share, explore, and create positive experiences... and shared interests and activities are vital to a mutually pleasurable relationship of any kind... and energy level, so intangible, at once abstract and concrete (if you understand, you do, if you do not understand, you do not and explanations are all but meaningless except to approximate detached logical concepts that most likely mean different things in each mind), energy level is the most important aspect of a being... compatibility of energy levels reaches beyond all physical knowledge and empirical concepts... beyond human life and fear open up and you will find energy is everywhere ���to feel... how much do you dare be real? but still the first questions most ask is age (as if profound meaning and knowledge can be found in such a number), gender (as if sexuality was the primary foundation of all sharing), race (as if the ignorances that form prejudice thoughts that are created by fearing differences in appearance and cultural experience can be validated and used as a judgment of compatibility)... are these still the first questions you find in a first meeting, especially on line?... numbers, labels, categories, boxes?... my heart still feels as it did at seventeen much to my surprise my soul is as ageless as time itself my spirit is reborn each time I open my eyes I think my spirit's wise age is a number that grows more or less meaningful in different company... if you are feeling old, you probably will see me as an obnoxiously bouncy child who will wear you out emotionally and intellectually and physically... if you are feeling about five years old, you will probably relate to me well... feelings are all in the mind, after all... you know?... what gives your life it's greatest appeal? if we share the same root causes for being we can find intimacy very freeing ���you know?... who are you when you let it all go? I deliberately exclude such information from my online writings (you really want to know, you must call and ask) because I do not want to feed into typical superficial human prejudices in my written world... and I hope those who call to find out the basic stats will respect my choice, though probability leans toward those wanting to know such information up front are insensitive to the ageless, genderless, raceless ambiance I hope to create overall in my written worlds... still, I continue wanting to trust the human race... so I do, one by one, true you... what if I lived to several hundred Earth years in some past life?... not possible in your mind?... then your mind and my mind would not be compatible sharing intimacy for in my mind... anything is possible... what if we are life forms that pass through this human life on this planet only to move on to another life form on another planet (or another somewhere) after what we humans perceive as death on this planet and we do not retain any conscious memories of the past life experiences (or elsewheres), but somewhere in our energy matrix the information, the memories exist?... what if everything knowable in all universes (all the elsewheres) is already within the energy matrix of this universe and all we had to do was tap into it with our human mental energy? (and what if we could learn how?)... what if you could create a world of peace and prosperity and security for all humans simply by giving up most of your wealth and luxury items, while still living comfortably (and actually feeling safer than ever) in this life?... what do you ask yourself when you are alone?... we all believe in something, most of us believe in something concrete, explanable, even tangible... I believe that anything is possible and everything we know could be wrong... I believe in making the most of each moment and the best of each experience... I believe in actualizing honesty without harm in every decision I make and every action I take... I believe in love... each thought tells a tale each feeling's a wind that can fill your sail and take you anywhere your heart wants to be if I believe in you and you believe in me and we believe in love we can share our fantasies anything is possible when love is your reality
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. . . . . the moment we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)... connections . . . . AND WHATDYA MISS? Can You Laugh At The Sky? DSandDrew It's Been A While Just a Moment (Proof of Mice) A Moment of Forever older still random chance who me? leave a note? (read archived notes) send me mail? you want to know me? soundtrack 101 Things The Sequel The Trilogy 202 Things 200 Things 202 More Things 202 Things Again testing123 have time, love words? sleepwriting (where the heart dreams) and now, in RealTime� and then, (e)thereal and now, briefly, in case it matters and now, the dirt, drama, and details (babbling) DO ME! (Johari Style) DO ME WRONG! (but do me right) SOAP! (EPISODE ONE) (the dark side of candoor) loving linkers other loves A Diaryland Survey other surveys small world your profile matters (search for you & find me) tell others read others applause? favor? gift? get your own! saturn rings and other places googlisms browsing where've ya been? the searchers favorites 911 HEY AMERICA! LOOK AT YOUR CHILD STOP THE ABUSE (GET THE CODE) THOUGHTS ON GOD ( temporary attractions ) BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE! WAS #1 @ MSN! (for a while, now on page (EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS) RSS? who links here blogwise Blogarama Globe of Blogs blogthings ~ BLOGLINKERS ~ ~ BLOGROLLING ~ Blogroll Me! published blogadvance blogazoo blogexplosion blogmad? bloglines (PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS) TSUNAMI INFO fantasy sports? BLOGGIES? sorry everybody Orange Blossom Music Festival Deland Music Festival MIT Survey brilliant idea Celebrate Birthdays FOR FREEDOM CONTINUE... talking dog SAY HELLO 407-325-1482 and if you want to leave take good care hope you make a lot of true friends out there |