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IN
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last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

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ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


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HELP THE RED CROSS
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NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
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THE FAILURE


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(202) 456-1111

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(202) 224-3121

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USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
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INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-12-23 - 3:36 a.m.

slice of me (part 2)


and if she said no way
she couldn't make this feeling less
but what did she say?
what did she say?
what did she say?
shhhh...


meanwhile (yes, I was bringing you a few moments (a slice, in fact) of RealTime, remember?... and before we were so rudely interrupted by the story of amy (yes, that is her name, a real person in RealTime), I was using others as an excuse for indulging my less than healthy or self-defeating impulses is a cop out I obviously won't tolerate for long (cuz here I am reprimanding myself in the same entry, so no wonder I was laughing at myself before I even got to this reprimand... sheesh, do I have to take responsibility for my every action and decision?)...

only if there's someone else around...

ah, ever the joker as I tease myself... but for whatever this next thought is worth, I shall tell you the truth... I am so uncomfortable with a couch potato life, it's getting harder and harder to breathe... but heck, I believe in love and sharing so much, as amy knows, I could even get into watching regularly scheduled television programs with the right person...

oh no, maybe I am desperate...

giggling is so inappropriate... and so am I... and what it all comes down to (incorrigible, aren't I?), is that there's nothing much happening in RealTime so I was just wasting time babbling over in RealTime when I am in this weirdly ecstatic self-mocking mood cuz I could be babbling on where babbling belongs and getting dozens more entries uploaded for the one or two people (and posterity) who are my dear loyal readers who read everything to see and ultimately, the record will show, that I bit it off and spit it out and I did it my way too... hopefully the one gets here before posterity (no offense, posterity) and we'll share the laughter that sometimes only I hear (and we will dance our great romance in a straight jacket built for two)...

I was definitely in too much of a babbling mood to stay over there in the RealTime blog, so I attempted to leave with the following closing line:

bid you a fond farewell and hope you are having as much fun in your head as I am having in mine... until next time, love!


it didn't work...

and if she said no way
she couldn't make this feeling less
but what did she say?
what did she say?
what did she say?
shhhh...

she said yes


what are you my love?... you touch me like you are my love... yes, Alanis comes to mind as I reminisce... and as haunting as the song can be, the bliss remains intact... nothing can take that away from me, that is a simple fact... and as most of you know, and the rest will now, that first perfect love is gone... but don't be sad... for it can still grow, couldn't tell you how, I just know it carries on... and I'm always glad... to feel... to know... it carries on...

I am alone today because the depths of love I've known are seldom touched in this modern world because it takes the ultimate sacrifice and people, in general, do not want to give up everything on the chance that someone else might be the ideal partner they've always dreamed of...

and that is where I live...

and while the fact remains that anyone can choose to join me, not everyone can be a match for my personality, interests, and fantasies... and while perfection would be ideal, I know the odds of perfection coming twice in a lifetime are infinitely higher than it coming once (and I am blessed to have found it, known it, and shared it once)... but I still believe there are some people who believe in love as the ultimate power, the love we can share that transcends everything, the love that lets us find our truth, our power, our god, our everything in the eyes and heart and presence of another person who connects in enough places to be close enough to an ideal match to bring us to that magic moment...

so I went on babbling over in RealTime and thought... I could be distracting myself watching a marathon night of That Seventies Show and dreaming of Mila Kunis whispering sweet somethings into my ear because she simply can't control her amorous passions for my svelte exterior and suave interior because she reminds me so much of the Amy I knew once upon the time who inspired the song once in love with Amy in so many ways that I think she's a reincarnation (except she exaggerates the spoiled American princess material girl a bit and kind of reminds me of Precious)...

did somebody say once in love huh huh huh?

obviously I am just too happy to be upset with myself (for staring down the road of becoming a fat, lazy slob so long) or Precious (for staring down the road of becoming a rude, spoiled, insensitive faux-princess for so long) or the madness of mankind (for self-destructing and pretending it's cool or noble or virtuous or holy for so long) or anything else (this sort of happy madness is such a wonderful way to be) cuz I am regressing back to my teen years and remembering the first time I fell in love just to remember how foolish worrying about anything getting in the way of falling in love cuz when it happens it happens and nothing stops it so who cares about money or fat or personality quirks or unsightly blemishes or ingrown belly button hairs that make the dried remnants of that life giving tube swell to the point where an innie becomes an outie and people stop and stare all shocked because it looks really obscene when you stand up wearing a kimono...

carried away?... whatever could you mean?...

the fact of the matter is (oh wait, here comes the seriousness... time to put down the popcorn or chocolate, sit back, and pay attention), the title of this entry relates to me and my heart... my heart is the spoiledest heart in the universe because it knows what true love is and will settle for nothing less... I mean even purer and truer love than Princess Bride kind of love and that's some seriously pure true love, ya know? (do ya?)... I mean purer truer love than A Tale of Two Cities kinda love... or Random Harvest... or Count of Monte Cristo... or Time Enough for Love (you'll just have to read the books or see the movies to get a taste of the meaning behind these references cuz there are not words to express or explain and even the best story of all could only provide a shallow two dimensional portrayal of the kind of pure true love my heart knows cuz it's the purest truest love there could ever be)...

I am so full of spoiledness it's oozing out of me and keeps anyone who does not know and feel and experience and actualize the purest truest love that can ever be away because they know they are not worthy (no wait, they know they are afraid to come near such a pure and true love... yeah, forget the not worthy part, that's too arrogant to get the desired giggles from the peanut gallery)...

there are obviously too many voices talking to each other in my head these days (you are welcome to join in and if you think you can, you are very welcome to try to get as much attention as you can get.. think you can get as much as amy did?... titillating query, aye?... well, if it isn't just read on if you're still here)... heck, talking to each other, they are throwing a full scale party... and to remember the seriousness within this entry (with a smile), no wonder nobody comes up to meet me, I mean, who wants to be the only stranger at a party where everybody knows each other so well it's as if they live inside the same head...

yeah, we all looked at each other quizzically after that one...

so as if the purest truest love wasn't enough to scare people off, I've also got the most openly giggling comfortableness oozing out me as well (and that is the coolest of coolness that makes the Madison Avenue and Hollywood versions of coolness pale in comparison cuz my coolness is being completely openly honestly real and purely truly lovingly comfortable that no matter what I do or how I screw up or look foolish, I am comfortable cleaning up my mess and doing whatever it takes to make right whatever wrong I did and the party in my head goes on cuz everybody there knows no harm was intended and the purest truest love of all lives right downstairs in the heart...

cool, huh?...

you really don't know what you are missing, but I'll just keep letting ego out so you can write off the seriousness and laugh at the maniacal delusions of grandeur that mock me mercilessly (and keep you away, no doubt) until the right one sees through it all and grabs me the right way and then, we call a do over and start again...

makes sense to me...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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.

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.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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101 Things
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(EPISODE ONE)
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