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2004-11-16 - 8:28 p.m. silence, almost... first, as I wake and step from a refreshing shower, I find silence for the first time in ages... she is reading a book (several are due very soon, so it's time to catch up on what should have been read for the past couple of months)... so I don't turn on the football games cuz I want to encourage reading and enjoy silence... it only lasts a half hour though... Raspy comes out and puts old bacon fat in a pan and splatters it everywhere as he fries tuna in it... he asks if I want some, but there's no more left that isn't soaked in old bacon fat, so I decline... salad soaked in fat (dressing), fish soaked in fat (bacon grease), and of course, Pepsi... did I mention ice cream for dessert?... good luck finding a clean utensil, since the dishes haven't been done in at least a week, probably two... why do I even get hungry here? (laugh, for I am in that wonderful post-good-shower place where I am secure and free from the influence of others, so my natural habits shall prevail tonight)... Raspy picks up papers that are all over the living room and hands me an envelope addressed to me... it's some sort of healthy-heart information from my doctor... I ask if it's been sitting around long (and mention that it would be good if, when they pick up mail, they gave me mine and didn't lose it in their mess cuz it could have been something important)... how did I ever get these guys as family, anyway?... ah, sweet cynicism... and on goes the TV, a Friends DVD... so much for a sports Sunday when you've got a teenage girl couch potato in the house who doesn't remember she has a TV in her room... s'ok, we sit around watching people play-acting friendship (maybe secretly wishing we have a group of friends and neat apartments and interesting lives that would be worth watching in reruns over and over too) eating tuna which is food that would be healthy if it wasn't drenched in old fat and of course, the phone rings... so now we listen to Precious talking to her friend while the TV plays reruns and the smell of old (is that rancid?) pig fat stains the otherwise refreshing shower smell I was experiencing just a half hour ago... if I didn't have long hair, I could forget this unhealthy scene when I head out to work later, but unfortunately long hair holds scents and so I'll be slightly sour fishy bacon-smelling until my next shower, which should probably be after I drag myself over to the gym, but then I won't have time to do anything like finish laundry and... excuses, huh?... did I mention that the episode of friends is the one where Monika gets all gung-ho about being Chandler's fitness trainer (until he decides to bring her down, great friend, huh?... see, couch potatoes are evil)... and the whole Ross-Rachel first kiss thing... and it looks like a Friends marathon is on the agenda... so I am deciding if I want to take this shiney squeaky clean body to the gym and therein have to change the calm relaxing feeling I am experiencing turn it into a into a squeeze in food and shower and rush out to work night... and I'm hungry... that would be because I have not eaten since yesterday evening... twenty four hours is a long time to go without eating, isn't it?... that's the habit these days though... probably mostly because I have no routine, no schedule, probably because I don't share much of the daily routine stuff with my roommates because I try to stay away from the kitchen when they are in it (heck, I don't want to go near the kitchen at all because then I don't have to see the mess) and do not want to continue being influenced by their poor eating and health habits... I wonder if I could actually make this amusing... maybe a script for some people to read on TV while others sit around watching and wishing they had amusing situations in their living space and lives... but then I'd have to find some talent at scriptwriting, huh?... to the gym... and there is the proof that the negativity is borne of malaise and lethargy, for even as I whined in my exercise log and even as I acknowledge the challenges I set for myself in this current living environment, I find myself renewed... tired of the complaints, I seek other stimulus and input and expression...
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