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2003-11-03 - 7:59 p.m. sharing I'm getting hungry... anybody want to come over or meet for a meal?... yes, I know, I am poor and have spent and eaten way more than good sense would allow last week and that pattern should change dramatically for a few months, or at least a week or few, but I am hungry and bored and longing for companionship and attention and fun... I napped and watched football yesterday... and then back to work last night and I don't really feel like I had any sort of vacation even though I was hundreds of miles away from here for most of the week off from work... it was fun though, in a too busy to think cuz there was so much to do for others you love and some you just met kind of way... I just woke up... I also wrote three emails yesterday... and three more today... yes, you heard right... I wrote six (with more probably to come) mostly unsolicited out-of-the-blue kind of personal friendly reach-out-and-touch-someone emails... that was a very unique experience for recent times... I once wrote dozens of letters a week to dozens of different pen-friends (and yes, in the beginning there was pen and paper), but in the last several years I have not kept up an email correspondence... same reason as the phone (I just totally guessed at the date of the entry linked... I mean to point to an entry that was called something like the phone is an albatross to give you some background as to why I mostly stay away from personal communications and intimate trusting of any kind which is an alien (or human) way to be for me that is not the way I was for most of this life and not the way I am at my core, but that's the trouble or something like that)... so maybe this will change the pattern... or maybe it'll not... the content of those emails should probably be shared somewhere in my written gardens... it is a balancing act I've come to accept in this life between my desire to share everything as completely as possible and respecting the privacy of others... in my past written gardens of more personal writings I have, I think, succeeded in maintaining such balance... if someone says don't share that it is not shared... but often in personal correspondence I find insights about who I am (and other creativity) and that is the point of writing and sharing words for me, so I am getting the inkling of the feeling that another new diary/journal/webspace is about to form... ahhh, wishing for an editor once again, I plod ahead on my own... sharing is a strange activity... are we sharing right now?... can sharing be done alone?... I suppose that is what written words allow, some form of sharing that requires no one else... I share with myself by writing and reading these words... I share with you if you read them, but I am not there in your physical space and you are not here in mine and time is relative... and even without your response, we are sharing... and if you respond, we have the potential to share much more... interactive sharing is an even stranger activity... I am remembering...
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