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2004-05-12 - 9:58 a.m. semi-inspired you must remember this (I'll settle for a kiss)... sigh... ah, there is an entry over on the laptop in progress and then there is yesterday's entry that was chopped off at the knees and here we are again... I just got back from the gym, am hungry and tired and debating between hitting the shower and then bed or hitting the shower and then eat... I suppose I could decide after the shower (since I will anyway)... a rather adorable young girl came into the gym while I was reaching my point of no return (that point in the middle of an aerobic workout when I have no more reserves and just open the throttle full blast until I run out of steam) and did I ever want to stare, but I was dripping and focused and already had my eyes closed and besides, it's not polite to stare... she did inspire me to set a new best without dying though, so I encouraged her to come by anytime I'm working out to inspire me some more... she has a sweet laugh... I wonder if her mother lives nearby (then again, I always considered being a dirty old man when I was asked what I want to be when I grew up... uh-huh, you're right)... I suppose I should hit the showers now... more will be inserted right about here after the shower, I think... that is a line from A Wrinkle In Time, a book I will probably be reading one of these days (let's see, on my current reading list there's The Da Vinci Code, The Dark Tower Book Six, Bleak House, and now A Wrinkle in Time... The Dark Tower would take precedance, but it probably won't arrive before the others so I'll dive into the first one that arrives {home delivery from the library} until Stephen King's epic continues)... the benefit of the high school clique games at work is I can read all night again, so the reader/writer in me is thrilled and that's what makes the job so attractive... when I forget about the poverty, that is... anyway, I finished Book Five in the Dark Tower series and am reading a non-fiction book about writing that Stephen King wrote a couple of years ago... just in case your were curious... the last few days I popped a few web addresses into thie file that I sometimes use (when I am smart) to type out an entry and I haven't remembered to include them in my ramblings since I was rather preoccupied with myself (who me?) here of late... as you may know by now, whatever news of the world enters my brain (or let's say 93.7 percent of it, just to approximate a bit more accuracy) right here through this window to the world, the internet... so it's relatively random and not your usual nightly news, which is just right by me since the commercial news media appears more interested in getting me to buy their smiley-happy products by sensationalizing the worst of people rather than providing any actual public service that might benifit humanity... of course one news story did get through my covers, that being the military idiots who could not have helped the terrorists any more if they joined them and flew airplanes into buildings themselves (I mean, when they offered to the world gift wrapped photographic evidence that Americans can be precisely the barbarians and other evil-west propaganda that some would teach their children by raping and torturing prisoners of a war we started as the invading army, not to mention the prominent moron who just called it all blowing off steam... and he's still on the air?... so much for his smokescreen claims about the big bad liberal media power structure, huh?... isn't there laws against hate crimes and those who encourage them?)... obviously I was distracted from the news I did want to share... be there (wherever you are)... ok, I haven't actually visited these bunnies yet personally, but I hear they are amusing and we sure can use some amusement these days... and if you really want to see what fascinates me late at night (besides all the other fantasies in my head), check out what I found when I looked up tesseract... I wonder if I ever put this into an entry (I think it was a comment or note I left somewhere, or part of an email... it is one of those stray paragraphs in the babbling files)... I think I called it My Book Has Many Leaves (or perhaps I just named it now)... Just a choice we make... "Reading my babbling one might never suspect that I have a quixotic voice cringing at every imperfection I leave in my writing. I have learned to accept failure, imperfection, even stupidity from myself. Only on the outside, like clown make up. It helps me blend in. Inside, there is still no compromise. Therein rests, rather uneasily, the dilemma (dichotomy, connundrum) that leaves me alone because it never leaves me alone and therefore leaves no room for anyone else." and somewhere in the recesses of my mind during the shower I was hearing a song that I was writing somewhere in the recesses of my mind during the shower... and in walks Rasputin as if he has creativity-killing radar (it just wasn't the right time for this one to come out I guess... actually, it's not the right place either... there are other worlds than this... tune in tomorrow and I might have a clue)...
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