yes, you are correct, this is the week from now entry for the world famous holiday, just posted a week early by the illusion of the date stamp gods... someday, nobody will ever know except for this bit of an intro that might be deleted or ignored or obscured by future historians or editors who know that mystery sells even better than history... whatever, get on with it, aye?...

only because we miss each other so much and you are simply ravenous for my eloquence, i return to push the previous entry into the archives way too soon (it�s not like there are dozens lined up to read and start a long tangential comment conversation that will take days and deserves the spotlight for a week or more, after all� i�m just not that publically popular and all your private accolades and undies in the mail aren�t effected by the time an entry spends in the front page, dontcha know� but the previous entry {and those before it} are well worth reading for the references and linkages alone, so find the time or lose out on the fun and opportunities to meet amazing folk like this cupcake who asks burning questions (ah, knew we�d get to those, aye?... rhymes never lie, they only fib a bit and make things up as they go along) and could easily light my fire {horny on xmas?... unwrap the box}, but that�s just too much for an initial tangential parentheses {and potentially perverse} so feel free to move along to the rest of this entry now even though you�ll miss the great people and places and things and stories and ideas and other things linked here, there, previously, and everywhere)� lam, does anybody actually miss ego? :)

yes, well, back to santa baby�

second only to an adorable elf meeting all the criteria to be the one showing up on my doorstep (and world peace, of course), i received the best gift i could have received this year for the season gift-giving tradition� caring from friends� and, on a more personal level, sleep�

sleep, sweet sleep, the magical rejuvenator just a blink away waiting to resurrect the mostly dead in all of us (especially effective on me)� i took my visions of libbo�s perfect face and kissed the sky (excuse me jimi) and while there are still miles to go before i wake, i am about halfway there� and it feels so very wonderful�

though in the physical reality, i still have not put the bed together and sleeping on the mattress on the floor is not good here� it�s the mattress getting old, the trouble with a metal coil mattress that has been moved and stepped on and slept on for too many years� especially the stepped on part�

and then there is the caffeine withdrawal sugar hangover headache nagging (just like a sledge hammer pendulum from temple to temple) at the moment and that is woke me from my big green chair slumbers� unfortunately, the big green chair is falling apart and no longer uniformly supporting, so it is an awkward and uncomfortable sleep as well� all the best remedies cost money and giving away more than a thousand dollars to others last week does not inspire me to spend any this week... the body, however, demands something be done� and rest, deep rest�

time to cleanse?... i have five days to do it (and longer if i just muddle through the two days i work next week)... it has been a long long time since i took a month or few to do a complete cleansing� and it does take at least a month� a cave with a steam fire would be a wonderful vacation� why have i not found an apartment with a steam room or sauna?... sauna and hot tubs used to be very prevalent� i wonder if accidents and lawyers shut down the viability for most apartment communities�

on a similar tangent, the water heater (just one more complaint, i promise it won�t take too long and who knows, we might be heading toward solutions cuz there are no problems, after all) in this place is not set very hot and i�ve been putting off addressing that, like i�ve been putting off unpacking, like i�ve been putting off the cleansing and weight loss and exercise and running� waiting for a magical butterflies are free neighbor to move in and offer the inspiration motivation right in my face in the physical space� hey, it�s not impossible ya know, even if we are laughing� alas, thirty or forty minutes drive away just seems so far for one who loves spontaneity and immediate gratification and constant connection�

and then i wrote in thereal (sorta):

i am always looking for reasons and rhymes... but �why should i?� is not a helpful question for me as long as i am looking outside of myself for an answer... i ought to be amazed that i have let the wait go on for so long... and the bloat� and the apathy... ambivalence... casual suicide... being human... and the american way... queue music�

hmmmmm, time for a resurrection?...

introspection�

kind of obscure for thereal...

but real nonetheless�

and in RealTime� no less, the drifting in and out, in and out, in and out� of sleep, i meant sleep, yes, the sweet sleep that brings introspective words, perhaps some from dreams yet incomplete, perhaps some from elsewhere, but all for you (and me, of course), brought by my own personal santa who hears my wishes and delivers whenever i focus and create the spirit of giving for myself (shhhh, don�t spoil the illusion, aye?)�

this may be the start of a more introspective path (oh no, not another writing place) or perhaps it is simply an endless thread that has flowed through every writing space from the start, the thread that flows from deep within amidst all the random babbling and irreverent asides and observations of life and seemingly casual nonchalance afforded the perfect being in the imperfect world� yeah, that�s the ticket�

the grand illusion you may never see unless you come close enough to breath the air i exhale� or perhaps, if you are astute and wise and lucky and in the right place at the right time in the right frame of your own mind, you might etch-a-sketch an image close to it yourself on your own internal palette and come to some understanding of what it all might mean in the big picture (and if you can color it in, you know how to begin)�

and the voices carry�

oh, there he goes again, rambling off on some conceptual reasoning or self-reflection only his insatiable dream of "the one" would care about and losing everyone else in the process� time for a pee break and when i get back, he�ll probably be finishing up and won�t even know i was gone... gotta love him...

�here�s a distraction for you :)

meanwhile, back in the environs� ok, i unscrewed the panels on the water heater and turned it up to about 125 degrees� it was down around 100 degrees or so, though it is impossible to tell for sure as the contol is a cheap plastic ring around a metal screw and each turn independently, so if the plastic ring was not calibrated accurately in the first place, the temperature scale means nothing� and i almost completely cleared the kitchen of boxes and except for scrubbing down the counters, it is as good as it�s gonna get� way too little counter space for me to take cooking seriously, but then, i adapt (wow, all this complaining, must be a sign that i am not looking around or dealing with the environs much, which is true, so sorting through what i want from the physical space is a good thing, even if we must sift through the griping until i finally decide to do something to make whatever isn't just right for me closer to just right for me... well, you don't have to {sit through the griping}, but thanks for hanging in there :)

so there are more boxes unpacked, perhaps 40% now� and eyeing the mac� need a way to store the cdstacks piled on the table� shelves� definitely need shelves� for books, music, and in the bedroom, clothes�

put the wire box shelves back together?...

listen to jesus h christ?...

no, just nap :)

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)