LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-03-01 - 10:24 p.m.

the roller coaster ride continues


the best thing to happen this week so far is that I've come home from work two days in a row and ignored the remotes and TV and visual stimuli that I so easily use as distraction and instead I sat in the big green chair ready to nod off (and writing myself to sleep) with headphones on... the desktop is finally processing the library CDs again (I fell out of that habit in February mostly due to the move and unpacking)... and it should be a great sign that I am letting music play in my ears again, so here's the playlist for today (or until these CDs are played, if it takes a couple of days):


Mest
Thicke
Chris Robinson & New Earth Mud
Various Artists
Guster
Madonna
Bon Jovi
Madness
Grateful Dead
Firefall
Heart
Little Feat
Mest
A Beautiful World
The Magnificent Distance
Conception (Stevie Wonder songs)
Keep it Together
Remixed & Revisted
One Wild Night
Ultimate Collection
Workingman's Dead
The Essentials
Jupiter's Darling
Raw Tomatos Vol. 1

the sad news is I've misplaced my voice... years of dormacy and silent combined with vegetative muscle atrophy (especially abdominals) have separated my brain from my vocal chords and diaphragm... the unconscious connection appears gone... the conscious connection too... I'd cry, but I may have forgotten how to do that too...

there's your roller coaster for today... anyone who's ever actually known the spiritual high of becoming part of music and singing from somewhere beyond with every ounce of flesh might understand the profound pleasure sensed in the fog through which the music plays today and the profound sorrow of being alone in the fog without the senses or muses or physical connections to connect to and let the music become the body...

for most of the human race, this is a meaningless jumble of words... and I can only hope it is one step at a time... the random variety of music is stimulating even in the physically exhausted and sensorally out of touch state in which I exist today... so I shall hang on to that smile that comes from the best thing that happened this week, hope that I might be returning to the music...

and then I read this... I mean the words, not the banners... if you know me, you know that my personal view of symbols and badges and such is that they are superficial and meaningless without detail, without action... the words below the banners express the detail and the action...

and the song... lost in memories of show music, becoming part of the songs, performing the show in my mind, on deserted beaches, walking through parks, by myself for the moon and stars, all alone, or with a true friend or few... and that's all it took for me to impulsively add another favorite (could there be someone updating and rambling even more than me?)...

speaking of favorites lists... they (mine, I mean) are so random... I have my first favorites list just about full over at candora and then a barely started list over a the currently dormant funda and others at my other diaries and a list at my live journals and so on... but so many people who appear in my and this is where I wandered this week entries (which must be organized on to a single page and linked at left one of these days, right) inspire me and call me back often and I just don't happen to have the profile update window open at the time (usually because the laptop has no more room for new windows)... I've been told, now and then, that links do not matter and my love of such simple and rather superificial (at least easy and easily impersonal) recognition is meaningless and I am foolish to become so gleeful about being listed as a favorite (or so very sad when I am removed), but heck, I'll be as foolish as I like cuz gleeful is a wonderful way to be and anything that inspires the feeling is good for me...

if I visit you a lot and leave you notes and especially if we've talked on the phone and I have not added you as a favorite, please nudge me any way you'd like... or even better (or simpler, at least, and I think that easy is good), add yourself to my bloglinkers (or blogroll) and you'll be right here on each page rather than a secondary profile page and I'll get around to finding time for actually updating my profile one of these days (but the good thing is you'll already be here, right?)...

the little laptop that could is straining at all ends at the moment as I have it actually playing an mp3... this is the first time I plugged the headphones into the laptop and let Windows Media play an mp3 on this old machine (32MB RAM, nuff said?)... and it was fun (to say the very least... what, you want me to count the tears trickling past my smile?) while it lasted... but alas, after a few repeat plays, the little laptop that could reached the top of her mountain and is choking on the air up their so I must shut down and clear her memory...

her name is Ali, in case you have not met...

ok, I shut her down (shees, that sounds terrible... so does turning her off... rebooted?... not much better... refreshed?... yes, but not entirely accurate... restarted?... ok, I restarted her)... ok, so I restarted her and as if she wasn't being asked enough, I tried to download mail... the connection disconnected in midstream... last night and this morning I downloaded mail without recording the SPAM count, so this would be less than twelve hours:

website address SPAM count,
download 9:25 PM 3/1/05
1498 messages, 10MB


the bad news is that means all mail is bouncing now because that mailbox reached it's 10MB limit... I changed the website forwarding address to a 25MB limit mailbox, but it did not take effect... maybe that's why the support people emailed me and told me to call them... I'll try to do that tomorrow... for now, I hope the 10MB downloads without too much repetition... I signed up for a few new things recently and that may be why the junk mail is increasing, but that is also why I only use the website domain address for signing up on the web...

good news, sad news, good news, bad news, and so goes the roller coaster of this entry and this life... so what else is new?...

for the moment there's a new experimental plaything in the links column on the left... I finally hooked up with Blogrolling (their activation message was one of the ones that bounced and I had to retrieve the second try from the deleted folder because the email filter didn't take for it... Outlook Express email filters suck, but they are what I have to work with at the moment... anyway, I worked it out and there's a blogroll on this page now, but I was not able to center and shrink the font so I emailed blogroll support for help because it probably will not stay on the page if it isn't centered and shrunk... interesting that Bloglinkers, which seems much less prevalent out there in the general blogland than Blogrolling, is much easier to use and configure and manage...

sometimes the simplest most obvious words are the most profound... look... and now you're in my head... I spent a week in Milwaukee one night... I was fifteen, I think, maybe sixteen, and riding my bicycle along with nine other friens old and new and a AYH assigned group leader who was in his twenties, but acted like he had a five hundred year old pole shove up his ass and was even older than the pole... very amusing memories from that trip... thirty five days (at least it was supposed to be) riding a bicycle taking the northern route from Detroit to Chicago... that meant heading up to Blue Lake, MIchigan and then over to the coast to catch a ferry across (I remember staying at a Jellystone campsight and playing with Yogi and Booboo) and then out to Madison (oh wait, that was the unscheduled side trip that goes a few of us sent home early, but that's another story) before heading back down to Chicago... yes, thirty five days... actually, thirty...

anyway, we decided to race from about 60 miles outside of Milwaukee and I had gone off on side streets because it was just too much fun to baffle the group leader by disappearing from the scheduled route... going downhill behind a convertible on one of the streets, the convertible stopped short and the car brakes worked much more effectively than my bike brakes... after rolling into the guys back seat and apologizing for dropping in so suddenly, we inspected my bike... the frame and front wheel was bent... the guy drove me to a bike shop and I hammered out the frame as best I could and got a new rim and tire... the rest of the trip was odd (or even odder) as the front wheel was more than an inch to the right of the rear wheel... anyway, I spent part of the night in a phone booth (from where I called the group leader and let him know I'd catch up with the group in the morning... I could smell his fear and anger through the phone line... hey, maybe scent can be transmitted through wires) and the rest of the night in the back seat of a car in someone's garage (it started raining)...

the people who owned the car woke me in the morning and after an awkward moment of explanation, gave me breakfast and let me sit out on their lawn in a lounge chair while waiting for the rest of the group to catch up with me (their house was on the route and they were scheduled to get into Milwaukee that afternoon... yeah, I won the race by a day, mostly cuz most of the people were afraid to get too far from the group)... by mid-afternoon the nice lady who own the house and I were getting a bit concerned because the group had not shown up yet... I called the hostel where we were supposed to spend the night and left a message... the group leader called a few hours later and demanded to know where I was... I told him where I was and he stammered because he had changed the route and therefore did not pass where I was sitting... the silly-frustrating part was I was all decked out in the lounge chair, rading magazines, music blaring, cool lemonade, clean showered and it would have been so great to have my hot sweaty tired bunch of bike trip companions roll on by as I waved... some might have fallen off their bikes in surprise or laughter...

anyway, I thanked the nice lady who kind of adopted me and set off for the hostel, arriving to cheers from the group and stomping frowns from the leader... it was about then that the idea to take the unscheduled side trip to Madison came to mind and maybe someday I'll relate that adventure, since it did get five of us sent home early...

ah, those crazy irresponsible hippie days, may they rise again somehow... I did not create any love children along the way, I mean, just in case there are any crazy rebel teens out there who were wondering...

the mail finally finished downloading and the clock says it's time to shower and head to work, so I leave you with the smiles you inspire by letting me know you are out there (and hopefully the feeling is mutual) and a hope that your memories are wild and crazy and securely on the positive side as you life your life... appreciate each moment, for you never know when a convertible is going to stop short in front of you while you're riding your bike without hands gazing up at the beautiful day J






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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hope you make a lot
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