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2006-01-31 - 11:41 a.m. ROCKIN! season two just kicked off (though you really want to start from the beginning to get to know the characters and understand what's going on... I mean, you don't want to just walk in, see bodies sprawled all over the executive suite, and wonder who shot whom, do you?... and of course you need to know who everyone is sleeping with and who and who everyone is married to and why they are not the same people, dontcha?)... this entry has been in progress for too long and while it's still going to be added to, it's time to let it loose upon you, my dear readers, and the rest of the unsuspecting world... some might say I tell secrets, but the fact is my character is not in my hands and therefore might get away with much more than I'd give myself credit for in spite of my humongous ego... so while we're not quite finished, here is my ROCKIN! entry... a tribute to the greatest thing since diary rings... yes, ROCKIN! is just the most rockin! thing happening in hypertext protocol... it is our own Diaryland Soap Opera... the writer is a giant of a man who boldly goes where no soap writer has gone before (and visits a lot of the old haunts as well cuz, well, that's what makes a good soap too)... we've been promised updates and cast interviews by the wild and wonderful (not to mention lovely and talented) Dandy (who is so dandy, by the way, she was named twice) so check out for the real scoop and much less biased details than you'll find here... of course my excitement about ROCKIN! has nothing to do with my being part of the cast (who me?... egocentric?... prejudice!... I mean, just cuz my name is ric... it doesn't mean my ego sent me even if my ego is as poor as this pun and ain't got a cent to it's name in spite of the claim that my ego is rich... that's rich, huh?... I mean, just cuz my name could have been rich)... egos can be so distracting... we were talking about ROCKIN! (remember?)... I am the villain... pure evil... well, mostly evil, but the evil part is pure... I come from a long line of evil... organized evil... the patent on my character was stolen from EVIL Incorporated... right from birth, my birthright was evil... I was delivered by Dr. Evil at a most an evil age in Evillage, Evilmania... yes, I was so evil that I was not born at birth, I was born fully grown evil... my mother simply exploded after carrying me for an evil amount of time... my evil daddy was quite proud... he handed out exploding chocolate cigars, now that's evil... so at least I might be the villain... Smash (the creator, author, writer, director, and world renowned gas masher) is developing my character and he knows that the best villains have to have some endearing quality going on or at least have to do something that's just too good to hate, however accidentally, so that people love to hate him (or her) and the audience doesn't want him killed off too soon... so I think I may develop an endearing quality or two in the first season, but I promise not to kill anybody... yet... at least not in the first season... I think I'm confused, like most villains... my daddy is a bad bad man... does that make me a demon seed?... who knows, I might turn out to be a hero in the end if I don't self-destruct and destroy all the good I might do... and if I don't like the way it turns out I can always kill the writer and get a job on South Park with those wacky Canadians... what fun!... Smash is the techno-wizard IT guy at the bank... oh, did I mention we all work at a bank?... I haven't decided if I am going to rob it or embezzle from it or just blow it up for the hell of it or do some other mischief yet... at least for the first season... there's no telling what I might do or what new characters or workplaces or happenings might come about as this story continues... it might even go international, since Smash lives on the rock across the pond (though from his perspective, I suppose I live in the colonies)... Smash is also the playboy of the western world (did I mention he was the writer?)... anyway, Smash handles all the equipment and in his spare time, fixes the computers... I kind of expect him to emerge from under one of the secretary's desks with the line in a slow southern drawl, "well, we're all fixed up now, ma'am... let me know when you need another servicing"... his grin would be killer... Smed was hired on as Smash's assistant, but I am not sure I trust him... then again, I'm not sure I trust anybody... it runs in the family... anyway, Smed seems to have a lot going on under the hood and suspicion follows him around everywhere (not to mention his woe begotten wife, who may or may not remain an incidental character, but whom he's cheating on with Tart)... Tart is sweet... but it could all turn sour for her quickly as she'll be heartbroken if she finds out about Smed's family... Dandy is as sweet as candy and hopefully none of us are diabetic because everybody likes her and wants a piece of her, secretly, of course, because she's cleverly playing the office gopher very well while accidentally falling love with (guess who) Smash (who in another life is competing with WC for the most notches on the bedpost for 2006, but that's another story)... WC locked up her home base diary for the moment, but she can't hide out in ROCKIN! because her psychopathic ex-hubby escaped from the asylum just to terrorize her (and Smash, who she's turned to for comfort... no, not that kind of comfort, but the story is young, after all, so stay tuned)... Mystic is an addict I supply (did I mention I am a drug dealer on the side?... I did mention evil, right?) and I treat her like crap (come to think of it, I treat everyone like crap), though she might be a source of redemption for me if I am to be redeemed... or she might just be one more pawn I move around the chess board in my mad attempt to take over the world... of course I've got a whole lot to redeem for, just ask Hubbyman when he finally finds out I've been sleeping (or at least hooking up in broom closets) with his wife, Barista... Zon is our boss and something tells me we have some sort of history together that I somehow don't remember... I suspect she'll use that against me one of these days (cuz somebody's gotta try to put me in my place) and who knows how that might turn out... maybe she's my mother... maybe she's Mystic's mother... maybe, unbeknownst to all, she's my long lost sister who was kidnapped as a baby and thought dead all these years because my bad bad daddy didn't want to pay the ransom... Smash just hates it when I use up story ideas... but then, I'm evil, remember?... naturally I make myself out to be The Star of ROCKIN! (this is my diary, after all and you certainly do not expect someone with my character to see the story through anyone else's eyes, do ya?... well, do ya, punk?... needless to say I've got a lot of pent up anger in my genes... in my jeans too, apparently, which might be my most endearing quality after all... so you see, Smash has created a monster in ROCKIN! and I promised that if he tries to get rid of me I'll come back from the dead to haunt the whole cast, especially when he's under desks fixing things... if you haven't gotten over there yet, you're missing out on all the ROCKIN! that you can do (if you sweet talk the writer well enough, you might even get a guest role in an episode which, who knows, could be a stepping stone toward internet soap stardom for you)... and if you're lucky, you might even run into my character who'll be happy to mess with your head, which will ultimately be a badge of honor if you survive... I dare ya...
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