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SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
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the truth laid bear
reason
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nobody here




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SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
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REFERENCE LIBRARIES

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Giga-Quotes
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all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

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hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
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something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
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(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2009-01-03 - 5:57 a.m.

retro writing from the inner teens


- or -

mock youtube scripts for the really good ones who can pull it off

part one, in which doris makes oatmeal

so yeah, like i stumbled upon a youtube video that lead me to notice selena gomez who once hung around with a big perverse purple dinosaur and has that darked eyed adorableness (selena, not barney), but like so many teens these days (especially the disney herd), there�s the appearance of a vacuous lack of substance in their voices, their songs, their personalities, their eyes, and their overall presentations� i would like to see more (sitting on a park bench� wait, that�s another song)�

start again�

yes, so, we were gazing lovingly at the breasts on the robin over there (just birdwatching) when along came this jones to learn all there is to know about this selena person who, like so many medea (no wait, i believe he meant media) children today, grew up in front of the camera and learned to be even more adorable than they were before they were discovered by millions of pre-pubescent fans and more importantly, the grown ups who exploit them (and secretly wish they were young enough to get in their pants, but we didn�t say that because they might get us censored or censured or indentured, even and nobody really wants to hear the truth, after all)�

what is this entry going to be about, anyway?... well, the commercialization of teenage sex appeal is all the rage, even though the puritans pretend it�s all innocent fun (ever see miley cyrus wiggle her hips?... can we not pretend that michael jackson and madonna were not teaching kids how to masturbate and seduce each other for just one minute?... michael did start before puberty, after all, so let�s not condemn the one to points out the truth about the culture just because nobody wants to see it� how many mothers have played with their infant boy�s penis?... and we wonder why michael�s voice never really cracked)�

ok, so you might recall my romantic affair with vanessa hudgens� this entry is simply an attempt to give equal time to some of the other new and up-and-coming replacements cuz, after all, vanessa is practically an adult and married and the american pop culture just can�t tolerate the sex kittens it worships to be of legal age, if we are to truly see our culture for what it is, so here we are checking out miley and mindy and mandy and moondog (i don�t know, some of these kids just slipped in the back door i guess) and selena and lavada and demi and poondog (it just keeps getting worse, i know, but this is a serious script, so bear with us (and the key word there is bear, though we meant bare, and we ain�t to proud to beg, either)�

singers, we are addressing and comparing and making note of and undressing singers because, after all, their breasts are so full of wonder and song, yes, song� we can be serious, we just don�t think it would sell as many videos, after all�

seriously, though� let�s listen to all these singers since the mother load, or lode, britney� they all sound alike (as if they all use britney�s recording engineer�s programming) and not one had anything near a real voice (except for christina aguilera, who got lost in her own press or something, trying to be anything but wholesome was trying too hard to be something, anything, like all the others� just once i�d like to see a kid trying to be herself� that�s why i like pink, for her rebel yell� and selena�s bff demi lovato?... we�ll have to see if she lives up to her la la land song {the irony is selena looks like she falls far short and is long lost in la la land already in the video that a fan put together} or if demi�s song was just a clever play on the popular independent rebel theme that everyone says they respect, but so few live up to� PRX 21R, after all�

there is always hope, after all :)

the sad thing is the sheep (insert pictures of baying sheep) follow the sheep (insert pictures of bigger sheep) as the plastic glitter girls get way more views, meaning more popularity, than the ones with a little potential and selena and demi are a perfect example of this� from what i�ve seen, demi has depth and fire in her talent, while selena has the one trick pony flirt-smile down pat (oh, but a voice rises from the pants, she is so adorable� and the heart, oh the heart wants to know� but let�s not get too serious here, this is a mockumentary, after all)� and the fact is the latter (adorable) is what sells best these days.. just look at which one tackled the national anthem, a song everyone tries to sing, but only a real singer can handle�

and so, returning to the serious comparison report on the actual voices (cuz that is what a singer is supposed to be about, right?... i mean, all except the ones who sing from their crotch, i suppose� gak)� i search for the ones who actually tried to sing the usa national anthem (a seriously challenging song for a singer, if you recall� go ahead, try it, i dare you to hit those notes and keep a straight face)� and the first one i find, prominently, singing at an nfl game no less, is demi lavato� and while demi missed a couple of words and left room for improvement, she actually kicked the song�s ass)� like a new-found-fan (not from new-found-land, however), i want her to show what she can do with her voice and personality� demi could go the path of christina and rebel a bit too much for popular consumption because she has too much talent and spirit to be happy in the plastic mold the others slide into so easily� but like christina, the talent will be overshadowed by the refusal to conform� unless she isn�t strong enough and she believes the hype the cute girls get� hopefully she is smarter than that� and maybe, just maybe, her friendship with selena will help if selena is a true friend and helps nurture the spirit within her friend who is clearly the more talented singer of the pair�

but then, what do i know� i also like katy perry�s singing persona� and i couldn�t tell the difference between the jonas brothers and the smothers brothers, or the osmonds, for that matter, cuz i�ve never heard the jonas brothers sing� ok, now i�m waiting for a jonus brothers download so i can hear them sing the star spangled banner too� next i�ll be checking out miley cyrus singing it acapella, just to be up to date on the latest craze� hannah montana?...

well that sucked� i mean the youtube of the jonases� the sound quality was missing, so maybe the off-key notes were part of the crappy sound of the recording, but i am far from impressed, so i�ll have to find another recording of them before i dis them any further� wait, there�s the second time in a row that they came on stage and their mikes were not working� either that, or they don�t actually have voices� they came on stage with demi and she can be heard fine� ok, i found a few i could listen to and i suppose they are ok, but i was never into the boy band sound and they add nothing to it�

and then there is miley� now, she i can dis right up front� millions of you may hate me now, but to my ears she sounds like a kid who imitated britney spears over and over until she got the accent and inflection and tone close and then was packages and sold (and the sheep bought cuz they were told to)� and sad to say (cuz i always root for the ones who melt my socks ya know) selena sounds even worse acapella� the great thing about youtube is that if you search, you can find something closer to these singer�s real voices, as opposed to the previous generation who hid behind their producers and engineers� it shows you how shallow the music business has become� just because a kid is cute, suddenly they think they can package her as a singer and she�ll sell� wait, they can and they do� i�ll give miley a few more listens before i continue� yes, i must� i was born to be fair� yes, and sarcastic, i was certainly born to be sarcastic, but fair too�

side by side (almost), the truth will out�

for those who have ears� and for those who listen to music with their eyes only, well, britney did get a little better as she developed her voice� for every voice can get better with the right training and practice, as did linda ronstadt, who had a pure gift even before she started talking voice lessons� give me the voices, like linda, who were beautiful to listen to right from the start, without the electronic programming, without the engineering, without the packaging, without the lessons� for i listen to music with my ears�

not that i won�t look at the eye candy like selena while listening to linda, or demi, for that matter (oh, he just had to go there� but linda was her own eye candy, alas, so rare is the package that complete� though i always wondered if there was anything in the head other than stardust)� yes, ok, i�ll admit it� the truth is they are adorable (and yes, i confess, i watched youtube for hours tonight checking out the latest disney kids cuz, well, i never know when i might have to discuss current events in pop life with a 15 year old girl, right?... and as much as demi rocks my socks with her voice and singing personality, selena has that look that melts my socks� where do those looks go as girls get older?... that, my friends, is the question for the ages and the answer might end the eons {or ions, even} of loneliness that has passed for a life {turn on the pity signs and send much sympathy for the old people like eleanor rigby and aqualung, though maybe he needed to be alone, or at least supervised� are we getting sufficiently irreverent to be shocking and offensive yet?... well, if not, give us time, we do go there, girl}, sigh)� sigh?...

what the hell does sigh mean?... i mean, after all these words and asides and innuendos and portney�s complaint about masturbatory fantasies and underage drinking and sex on the beach and checking pubic hair does not prove true hair color cuz any hair can be dyed and any idiot knows that so give a kid a break and just get to the point�

there is no point, we�re teenagers�

narf :)






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