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2007-01-01 - 11:56 p.m. random internet tests maybe I'll come back and have something to say about these, but for now, I'll open 2007 with some random internet tests that hold as much meaning as they do meaninglessness, which make them very zen...
ok, so I'm finally back here to continue babbling and I'll start in the middle of this right here by thinking there sure are a whole lot more life experiences than the ones in this text so I don't think I'm all that much a 96 percenter, but I'll accept I've experience a whole lot more than you're average church-going (or not) average person... you'ver all played rather silently, so far at least, which makes me kind of think of a church, I suppose, but hey, enjoy life any way you wish, interactions are almost always optional and surely that goes here...
yes, apparently my highest influences in music come from all five of the measures this test provided and what this test doesn't tell us is that many more influences come from many other categories of music as well... you remember music, dontcha?...
I suppose I could (and by every normal standard, be quit angry over the loss (and theft) of music I experienced in this life, but being an angry young (or old, for that matter) man is way too one dimensional for my tastes, I simply forge ahead and occasionally mourne the losses and feel the bleeding wounds of betrayals (for only the betrayer can actually remove the knife, you know) and as Tanya Tucker says, I've learned to live and personally, singing that sad song is but a fraction of the feelings I experience living and I'm happy to find most of the feeling are wonderful happy joy (and happy happy joy joy too) because I can still feel the depths and experience the catharsis of dying and rebirth regularly... that's much of what music is about for me... and life too...
and movies too... yes, I would have put a whole lot more obscure films and a whole lot more diversity into this test, but then, it did have a fair spread for popular consumption so I felt it held enough validity to include it... I miss sharing movies almost as much as I miss sharing music for movies can bring me to catharsis even faster and more profoundly than music alone because it involves audio and visual senses in a longer story form than most songs... I think the word expert is handed out way too easily in all online tests though...
personally, I think I am a much more powerful glutton than this test measured, but that may for the moment and the test is probably more accurate for my overall habits� I definitely have gluttonous moments� especially at a good all-you-can-eat buffet or around milk chocolate� and yes, eating is a true hobby, a sensual hobby, sometimes an abstract art� unfortunately, eating contests don't pay even a fraction of what I've spent on food� but it is an amusing concept�
this is no surprise, though I can project an anal retentive presence just as easily, especially at work� I find that keeps everyone out of my business so I can have maximum autonomy within the limits of whatever job I am doing� but away from the desk, yup, I can see this one, even with it's exaggerations, as very much me� but you go right on thinking I'm flaky or whatever if it keeps you coming back�
yuppers, I sure do love me my imprefections and all� most of the time�
alas, my cover is not completely blown, is it?� shhhhh, remember how cynical I can appear to cynical eyes and you don't always have to see the silver lining and giggles and smiley faces underneath (cuz then I'd be too flakey to ever be taken seriously, ya know?� I know, at least one of you hates when I do this, but heck, so many don't even understand what I am doing, no less have an opinion, no less be moved to passionate rambling about it� ya know?�
melancholic, aye?� mostly accurate, though I I love the chaos (I love to boogie� song cue)� I could use some more of that alone time, that's for sure, but on the other hand, the peace is everywhere, just not focused without the time� ironically, I don't sweat the small stuff, even though I babble into thought webs and tapestries of intricate details� though I love it when I feel in touch with and aware of everything (like when I am in love or just waking up or at the 23rd mile mark of a good marathon or the 15th mile mark of a fair one)� I maybe get trapped in negative thoughts at times (that may be what keps me in the no-exercise � comfort food loop I've been in for a while), but it's mostly the boredom side of loneliness, especially physical, cuz I crave all sensual stimulations, but most especially oral�
I dunno, but I've got billions J
oh gee, flattery will get you a giggle and me trying to figure olut how to say this is so true without sounding too egotistical� it's not the great thing it might seem like, really, unless one wants to be completely altruistic and turn off all personal desires and sensuality, because the last line is the truest of all� I don't like to think about this much because as much as ego basks and there's a wonderful feeling about my chamelon-like sensitivity and freedom to be as I want to be (which is the essence, ultimately, not being afraid to be open to others, empathize, and mold yourself to specific wants/needs), there's also the deepest loneliness�
surprise?� what surprised me was just how accurate so many of these tests are� I must thank the commenter in Serenity (remind me to link, as if this line down here in this past entry will actually be noticed and clicked on� but we can dream and more than dream, I can credit in the manner I feel is right for me� this thank you typed and posted on the web may seem like a meaningless gesture or even a desperate attempt to connect all the dots in the world {at least those people I'd like to be more directly connected to than merely sharing the universe as we all do with everything} and maybe it is, but more than mere karma points or even maintaining a balance of energy, it feels right for me and the more I do what feels right for me, the better I feel and can share� that doesn't have to make sense to anyone but me and it's just fine too)�
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