first off, this is a shout out to anyone who has a moment to share something positive... please visit a kilowatt and leave a happy thought, if just a smiley face (no pressure to find the right words, the power of your clicking a blank response actively shows you are caring)... and if you have time, read (and feel the light shining brightly through her words) one of the most aptly names diaryland writers we've got...

do it for yourself, for me, for kilowatt, for someone else, but do it... click here and leave a message or a hug or a smile or anything your heart can offer... it is a small task and great goodness you can do and you can feel your goodness right now by doing it...

and this leads me to think about the millions of people who browse the web each day... and the dozens (or hundreds) of strangers who happen to find our sites... there are as many reasons for them to have found us as there are people searching the web... and the singular truth we can know is that each person comes to read our words the only way they can, through their own eyes... what you, dear loyal reader, dear friend, or dear stranger have experienced in your life in your past and most recently influences everything your senses bring into your brain and everything you feel... hopefully this is already obvious to you...

"we do not see things as they are as much as we see things as we are"

I paraphrase a line from The Talmud, which is some of the earliest human writings, because it gives me great hope for humanity... to think that even in his/her first writings (that we know of), such wisdom was thought and expressed, well, that lets me think that the essense of humanity, the heart and soul that gives us consciousness and life, is wise enough to overcome the foolish insecurities and negativities that plague us daily and distract us from the true desires in our hearts, the motivations that make us who we are...

and the words I quoted above also allow me to accept the truth that everyone has an opinion and each opinion is based on individual experience - the opinion holder's individual experience - and most often that experience has nothing to do with me directly... this helps me remember that my responsibility for feelings ends within my physical body and while I can influence those around me in many ways, I can not make anyone feel anything that they do not already feel within themselves through their own experiences... it is not your fauly that I feel as I do, you can not make me feel any way... you can only inspire me to reach within myself and find some feeling I already have that connects with whatever you share...

so when you share yourself in words or in any form (or when I do), sometimes you inspire me to reflect almost precisely what you are expressing because your words, what you are sharing, reminds me so well of something real in me that I have experienced... sometimes that's a wonderful thing...

and sometimes what I feel might not feel so good...

if what I read (or see) in life on or off the web pushes away some defense around some pain I don't like to think about much or somehow triggers an old wound to bleed some more, that is a good thing even if I do not see it at the moment... for pain left unresolved, wounds left to fester unhealed, is cancer, perhaps even the actual cause or conduit of the physical cancer and most disease, but at the very least such repressed negativity is the cancer of the soul... and if you inspired me to face it, bless you...

even if I curse you are the moment you inspire it...

I hope I always remember this... for in my travels through words on this electronic superhighway over the years, I have encountered many who have painful scars, some who have personal agendas that include lashing out at anything positive or beautiful... usually that is not because they are evil or mean, but much more because they are bored or in pain... few actually want a light turned on when they are crying (or denying that they are crying) in their own self-imposed darkness... few want to be doused with love when they are feeling hate or misery...

I offer this reminder to anyone who experiences pain of any kind in this world... you are responsible for your own pain... that does not always mean you created it, but what it means is that you are responsible for dealing with your own pain... if lashing out at others is the best you can do, you probably will not find an end to your pain and more likely will find more pain as a result... misery does not really like company, misery kills company, mostly because misery is dying and it does not want to die alone...

remember this... if you feel you have something positive or negative to say to me, your words, kind or cruel, reflect who you are...

my words reflect who I am...

and along this line I point now (if only to lighten up and leave you with a smile - cuz there's always hope, I hope), I have not had time to update the searchers link on the side of this page and I've noticed in my occasional visits to the site stats that DLand offers that there are lots of people finding this site through internet search engines and the things searched for that bring people here are often amazing to me... I find myself thinking, "did I say that?"...

well, some search engine says I did and until I find time to update where these belong, here are some of the searches (pulled from randomly visiting my stats every few days or so) in the past few weeks... some might not work due to search engine propriety tags or addresses, but most work and perhaps you can find them as curious or amusing (or even insightful) as I have... if nothing else, they provide another way to explore the web (and me) and a distraction from anything you might ant to be distracted from (huh?)...

enjoy your self as much as you can, for you deserve it J

holloween accidents
life was not meant to be easy
fasting stomach shrinking
safe distance behind stopped vehicles
the landslide brings me down
what's life got to do with it
I am not those people
peggy haley
Christian nudists
lonely.again.naturally
my cherry
cutting hair
last minute halloween costumes
how to handle two-faced co-workers
can i workout with blood presure
wacko yacko and dot
dehuminifiers
cutething
nudist kid

USB to USB2
mideval court jester facts
Celestial
football-abbreviations
Criss Angel videos
diaryland layouts
nudist sites for kids
avx scriptwall
a small world
Pink Hair
blood pressure
Lyrics- So on and so forth and Scooby-dooby-do ya
fifith element games
lifemaster treadmill
IMMIGRATION AND "paper marriage" and NOT DVD OR vhs OR MUSLIM OR BOOKS OR MOVIE OR FILM OR BOOK
ice cream creatures
jackson browne existentialism
halloween words
testimonials ambulance officers traffic accidents
candoor software
candoor
call it depression
jeanne radar images
this is how you remind me
what is imagination
survey diaryland
what do palpatations feel like
feather bowa
ending a sentence with with
stories about loving the unloveable
how to present "don't judge a book by it's cover" to children

and finally I leave you with this thought from the immortal words of Johnny Five (again, paraphrase, cuz my memory is like that): "is alive, not mistake, Stephanie... Johnny Five is alive, life not mistake"...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)