LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
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bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2003-10-22 - 8:31 p.m.

rambling on


how do I know you are here if you are there and do not tell me somehow?...

so I wonder what you came here for... and when...

today, while I write this, the feeling of disillusionment with people is strong, even as I prepare to go to a birthday celebration tonight where I will give the first gift I have purchased rather spontaneously for someone else in quite some time and eat, drink, and be merry (handy preparation for the wedding {and I really must shop for something to wear} I am to attend next week... how many karma points are earned or erased for giving a bride away?)... but deeper down calls the wild...

nobody knows the troubles I've seen...

old songs ramble through my brain bringing shivers to my body even as I make my way through the physical life and in many ways I enjoy the heck out of both... the thrill of a roller coaster is in never knowing if it will be your last trip, ever...

is there someone you know, you're loving them so, but taking it all for granted?...

how can I be sure?

oh sure, give them all separate lines so they stand out and beg for identification, recognition, corrolation, and decision... or is that vindication of the incision?... the first cut is the deepest, after all... now that's better... just ramble on and leave the driving to us...

so let's see... I worked, of course, these last two nights... I slept some, but not nearly enough... yesterday I remembered a thread that led me back to a place I'd long thought forgotten, a peaceful forgiving accepting security of self that is actually home (and I have been homeless so long), but I didn't stay long because I am in a wandering time of this life and there's no point in wandering at home (unless you are rediscovering stuff long buried out of reach in storage or somewhere else, but such miracles are not happening today)...

I wrote a bit more, as usual, but that is somewhere else and then spent some time trying to get the AV program to work (as it stopped rather suddenly and consumed hours) and I sent off an email to their support to explain their previous emails did not fix the problem and probably occupied myself with some reading on or off web that I passed into random memory as distraction was the order of the day and has been for a week or morem but that's another horse we'll ride at another time... I ran out of gas just as I was getting to work and coasted the last quarter or half mile (the turns were interesting) into a parking space and Sally was kind enough to stop by with a gas can full of gas before going to work so I was less inconvenienced than he was, actually (what are friends for?) and then I finally had the oil changed this morning as I shopped for the birthday gifts and some other stuff and then I came to work on the AV program on this laptop again since I fell asleep while the professional version was downloading yesterday... what else to do while a 10MB program downloads at 56K?... did I mention that the tech response was to try to professional version?... not at all the right response for me, as it translates into we won't help you fix the free version, just buy the product, which I accept as maybe fair business practice but not good business as I will not trust a product they can not fix without payment... so I'll try their professional version for 30 days and then probably buy Norton or McAfee as I have probably forgotten not being satisfied with their products since I have not used them in years...

believe me now or find out later, you don't really want to know how my mind works...

kudos to Microsoft support (yes, it is shocking for me to write it too) for their Windows Update product... several times in the past two months I have written to them with a question or problem and a personable response (with a name and email address and even the work schedule of the tech responding) was addressed directly to me by name and to the specific problem, but the best thing was that even after I sent a thank you, all is fine now, and no need to respond again the tech sent a very nice (and not short) thank you back with a reassurance that free tech support for Windows Update is always available... I did not ask which part of hell I sold my soul to (and I hear the tech laughing too) or how much privacy I gave away in order to receive such prompt, courteous, and helpful service (sincerely yours), but I'll enjoy the apparent miracle for as long as it lasts...

for better or worse, it's kind of like the phone company was (and probably still is)... so seriously, are you going to not use the phone?...

so today I installed the professional version and at first it fixed nothing and crashed the laptop (which may be at fault in the end for the program advises a minimum of 64MB RAM and recommends 128MB RAM and this old laptop has 32MB RAM, but the tech support person ignored my suggestion that this might be a problem and went right ahead and suggested the bigger more powerful (and more memory demanding) professional version anyway... notice anything wrong with that picture?... anyway, it finally started working, I think, for now... whether it'll crash at some future date due to not enough memory or just an ordinary bug in the program, we shall see... there was not response to my mention of the possibility that other software like Spybot or AdAware (both installed and used on this laptop) might be incompatible, but then, when techies are sales people in disguise, what can we expect... maybe that's how they do it in Romania (or... the worse of capitalism spreads the farthest the fastest)...

and then came fantasy sports wherein Rasputin and I put our heads together at our respective computers and hammered out a game plan and prognosticated our picks and line-ups for the weekend... many moves (transactions, adding and dropping players, or whatever we'd call it) were made and I am hurtling towards victory... in my dreams (it is fantasy sports, after all)... actually, I am in first place the two leagues where we go head to head... our joint team dropped from fourth to fifth (by fractions of points) this week after our worst showing of the season... and in the league with Sam I am dying slowly, somewhere at the bottom of the pile (directly behind Sam, for what that's worth), hoping for a turn around... and in the league I joined all by myself I am dead last due to a cachophony of bad breaks (McNabb, Collins, Garcia, Gannon, Peerless, Horn, Ricky Williams, Culpepper, Shockey, Vreble, and the list goes on... if any of these names ring bells, you understand why my draft looked great but my teams do not)...

meanwhile the college deal seemed to erase the past week (where I did great) and hopefully they'll fix that before Saturday... and over in the basketball leagues, I was too late to set up another live draft, so I am consider setting up an autodraft league if anyone is interesting in playing fantasy basketball (yes, I know I mention it kind of late every year... so remember for next year or hustle and get in now... leave me a note if you want more info)...

and then I came to my diaries and scribbled some words here and there (at least in the first few) and here we are... all caught up and nowhere to go... but then, I'll keep wanting to believe that no place is too far away, not even the abyss, and continue rambling on and all...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




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the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

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AND WHATDYA MISS?
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random chance

who me?

leave a note?
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send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
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sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
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DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


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tell others
read others
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get your own!

saturn rings and other places
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browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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TSUNAMI INFO
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brilliant idea
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