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2004-05-09 - 7:37 p.m. opening to change... well, I wrote a letter to my congress-person asking for my money back, my taxes, that is... I explained why, that I didn't approve of the way it was being spent and like any responsible consumer in a free-enterprise society who was not satisfied with a product, I was seeking a refund... I doubt the letter will get a serious eye, especially since I wrote it in red crayon and used no exclamation points (how can anything be taken seriously without exclamation points), but maybe it'll give someone the idea that there are people in this country who don't vote, don't care, and don't get involved in politics who are finally getting fed up enough to consider getting involved somehow... of course I try humor laced with seriousness (I was out of arsenic), for otherwise I'd go mad enough to accept the lure of the padded cell... now what I did today was attempt to gather my wits to mine through the paper mountain that has built up on my makeshift desk (and assorted other areas)... much trash was discovered, along with most of the bills I have paid over the last year or so (and a few pending that will be due soon)... I did one load of laundry that is waiting for me in the dryer... watched Men In Black II when Rasputin and his girlfriend came home with some food they shared with me, something Vietnamese that was very tasty... and I don't think we had to bomb it... I did not get to the gym as it was still closed as of yesterday... I definitely spent too much time indoors... I wandered about the web a bit and around DLand in my candora suit (picture something large and furry), casting a note or few upon others waters after filling in some of the blank spaces in that dreamy lyrical diary... I actually responded to one email... and for whatever reason (such analysis awaits a personal visit) sent a note to Toronto, where silence reigns again... and I am realizing more each day (when I wake up and look around) that I am becoming a bit bored with my life as it is and I am thinking about change... since I am responsible for a lease here until next year, a change of venue is probably not going to happen soon, so I am in the market for an import... anyone with any new suggestions, please suggest and anyone in or coming to Orlando is very welcome and encouraged to suggest in person... the change can be anything (that is, I'll consider anything), but you'll probably have to convince me... being a soulmate would help tremendously, being a friend would be wonderful, being a stranger could work if you have the right perspective and interests... considering that I am torn between being a disillusioned aging hippee and an idealistic young fool (not to mention a broken hearted dreamer, a hopelessly hopeful romantic, and a horny hedonist), the right match might have to be schizophrenic like me or at least have the potential for multiple personalities... and a rather warped sense of humor... I may have to head into work early tonight since management either does not have the skills or interest in getting their act together and staffing the place right and the director is being pressured to insure proper staffing because a system facility that he is also the director for was cited for inadequate staffing ratios and if he's cited again it could mean he does get his bonus this year... that's the free enterprise system trying to run a hospital for you... patient care?... not part of the equation except on paper when the auditors or regulatory agencies show up... ultimately, that's why I got out of management and returned to the front lines... somebody's got to provide the direct care to people and it's much more enjoyable to me than pushing papers around and creating the illusion of patient care... and I paused for a few to call and find out what was going on and nobody knew, which was no surprise... so I made a few suggestions, told them to call me if none of my suggestions worked, and they called me to let me know one of my suggestions worked and they didn't need me to come in early after all... that's good, since I am staying late tomorrow morning anyway cuz someone who is covering two shifts asked me to give him a little extra time... sleep and life for staff is also not considered in the management equation for staffing the place... gotta laugh to keep from wondering how humans have survived this long... where were we, anyway?... listening to Sinead O'Conner (suddenly flashing the image of her on SNL... you might have heard about it if you don't remember, tearing up the picture of the Pope... I'd love to meet her... she's gotta be a torn wonder inside... must be the social consciousness part of my brain getting restless... what surprises me most is how people think they can get away with (and justfy) acting shocked and surprised and appauled and apetered, even... like, why do you think they are called Protestants?... let's see... contestants participate in contests... protestants participate in... take your time... protests, right?... I mean, duuuh)... sometimes I really have nothing to say when I come here to write an entry... but I say it anyway, cuz maybe that is what a diary is about... letting it out even if you're not sure just what it is...
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