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PO BOX 780398
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send me some music
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-04-28 - 8:33 p.m.

on with the music


this entry was uploaded just a couple of hours after the previous entry (cuz I am still chasing time, after all... only a day behind now and a whole weekend to catch up, but shhh, too much RealTime and the whole ambianve changes...

on with the music...

ironically, the first Ryan Adams CD I picked up at the library was by mistake... I thought I was bring home Bryan Adams... sometimes I sleep browse through the library... and then I find someone who has words on the web with great appeal for me and she is singing his praises... so I revisit the library and listen to Ryan (not Bryan) Adams... and I am sucked in good...

not Douglas, either, but you know what tomorrow is?...

anyway, back to music... there's a haunting mixed with a melodic peacefulness mixed with an energy mixed with subliminals and intangibles that demand more attention than I have been giving music (or anything) lately... I must find more of his music (I am trying my best to forget I finally broke down and made my first purchase at Amazon this week... shhhh, don't remind me, unless, of course, you are rich and want to share... I was rich once... I'll never be rich again... but you can call me ric)...

you know that face Wacko Warner makes when he's unconsciously clever?

and following Ryan (not Bryan) is Rilo Kiley and while I lose none of the sudden love I feel for him, I think it's my mostly heterosexual ears that almost always prefer a female singer to a male... that is a generalization though, with many exceptions... and it is just as likely that the preference can be attributed to my acute sensitivity (over-sensitivity, most tell me) and the sense that females express themselves more emotionally just cuz the culture makes it much easier for that to happen... anyway, all that to say I seriously want to hug the singer (and I'll settle for exploring more)...

what with my distracting living space and extreme fatigue and continued writing while the music is on, the primary attraction compelling me to tell you about the CDs playing in my ears just now is the sounds themselves, the music and voice, the instruments... the rhythms... the styles... I am not listening closely enough to let the words talk to me, because that, for me, is a singular focus meditative process and I have writing (for whatever it's worth) to do...

but I must pause more often than I usually do when I am on a babbling roll and ponder... who is this voice?...

yes, I must...

I was going to sleep today... I got home from work and ate a bit and was absorbed by Quantum Leap because they had a three parter back to back to back and by then it was afternoon and Precious needed a ride to the library and Rasputin works tonight and I had CDs to return and an insatiable thirst for more CDs (I took out another hundred CDs, two books, and three DVDs), so I drove her to meet her friend there...

I did mention, a few times, that the library closes at 5pm today and we'd both probably be dead asleep... Precious assured us she'd have a ride... naturally at 5:01pm my phone rang because, surprise, surprise, they were outside of the library because it had closed at 5!... Precious was incredulous, insisting that libraries are supposed to stay open until 9pm and seemed to forget I told her, a few times, that the library closes at 5pm today...

I has just gotten home (I actually stayed at the library almost two hours selectng CDs and stuff) and changed into comfy sleeping clothes and sat here in the big green chair with my trusty little laptop that could and was all excited about getting into the music and writing my heart out until I passed out...

"could you drive us to Barnes & Noble?...
we still have studying to do"...

so I did... I did not kick up dinner money though (will power, yeah)... so Rasputin will probably get a wake up call about 7:30pm with a plea for food funds because there's an unlimited supply of money in his wallet (not) and they'll be hungry... the hard Rasputin will say, come home and eat... the soft touch will ponder taking them to dinner before he heads into work... we shall see which of the two Rasputin wins tonight...

and me, that's today... all the writing that could have been was distracted by 1. fatigue and 2. TV (induced by wanted to watch something while eating) and 3. Precious and the library (two very powerful forces)... and here I was supposed to ramble on and catch up with time and upload three entries so we would be on the actual RealTime date...

but, in fact, we are still a day behind... yes, all this actually happened tomorrow... amazing how time warps happen in diaries, aye?...

some time this week, when he wasn't sleeping, Rasputin went to traffic school... he probably did not record his experience for posterity and madmen to salivate over, but he did well... he made it to the court with his certificate of completion on the very day it was due, ninety days to the day of the date of the ticket... cutting things close runs in the family...

and some time this week I set my fantasy baseball teams (until Friday, so before Saturday I must go set them for another few days)... I dropped and picked up several players on each team, cuz that's part of the fun, guessing who's going to be hot this week, this month, this season... I am trying to juggle ten teams (so far) and while it is way too early to be meaningful, it's still fun to see I have two first places and two second places out of the ten leagues... I do have a couple of last places, but as I said... yeah, selective reasoning is part of the fun too...

I am seriously loving Rilo Kiley... More Adventurous is on it's second play... I am starting to hear words that appeal to my creativity and sensibility and all sorts of parts of me, which is certainly more part of the fun... guessing who's going to be hot this week...

but ever alert to prothyletizing, our hero remains unconditionally loving and majorly excited, but noncommital...

and nodding to the sweet sound...

but ah, the sweet elation of slpping into that place between dreams and awake...

to be continued...

and so it is...

some time later that evening, as I was sailing along unconscious musical dreams deeply and wonderfully asleep, my semiconscious mind hears some banging outside, barely getting through the sounds of music and sleep... first instinct is to turn up the music (but I'd have to wake to do that), but being asleep, I simply turned up the focus on the music and returned to deeper unconsciousness...

some amount of time later (there is no time in dreams), the banging reappears somewhere beyond the music, especially during the pauses between the songs... my second instinct is to guess it is the workmen still fixing the building on scaffolding outside of my bedroom window, which is why I do most of my sleeping in the living room in the big green chair with music in my ears, and that pushes the annoyance button, but the music and fatigue win out and I push the banging further away as I actually wake enough to turn the music up...

some further amount of time later (I am told it was maybe fifteen minutes), I return from the depths of wonderful mind journeys to recognize someone is actually banging on the walls and door of the apartment and I take the headphones off... opening my eyes, I realize it is near midnight (so I slept wonderfully maybe four hours, minus the indefinite period that the banging was trying to enter my musical dreams)... I go to the door and find Precious and her friend... she forgot her keys...

lucky for her I was not working tonight (which would be tomorrow night, by the clock on the top of this entry, but time is relative in my world)...

and I returned to slumber most comfortably in the hands of Rilo Kiley again (thank you much)... yes, on repeat throughout the night... I wonder what subliminal messages were imprinted on my psyche... I wonder if I will ever know...

that's one of the most exciting parts of the journey J






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