and nobody said what, so I simply continued as if nobody cared like the person who cared to leave the comment said (proving that person is the oxymoron and I am the oxylessoff, leaving us both all a twitter and at a standstill until the rock caught it's breath and started chasing us down hill once again... at that point, we were presented with a brief history of the Bibles in stream of consciousness (for those of you who prefer paragraphs, please see the next entry), thusly:

Moses: look everybody, hieroglyphics from God!... they fell out of this burning bush... let's call them the ten commandments, carved in stone and written on scrolls that give us ways to survive in peace... then Abraham did his thing with his sons Isaac, and the other one, Hagar and the whole child of Abraham mess happened, which followed by Jacob and then David (who adults with Bathsheeba and then arranges a rather unpleasant bath for Bathsheeba's husband {leaving Uriah in a heap}, and then their child dies) so two sons of David vied for 'king' when David died... Solomon won, so the first-son stories too precedent in Judah and they named their god Yahweh meanwhile, up north in Israel, Solomon's second son took the second-son stories (cuz he was banished there) and became the northern tribes, also know as the ten tribes and they named their god Elohim until they turn Pagan like Caanan and tragedy befell as Assyria attacked... that would be between 700 and 7000 B.C., though they didn't know it was B.C. at the time... all that scattered the ten tribes to become the various peoples of the middle east (but don't tell the Arabs they all started as Jews cuz they re-wrote history some time later and will argue the point)... eventually Judah turn Pagan too because all these papers that might have been what the Talmud was made of was way it was too complicated for most people to understand so it needed dummying down... along came a new king, Jahoyaton, or something like that, who wanted to clean up dodge, so to speak... so he pulls a Moses and says he finds a scroll (take two tablets and call me in the morning) that demands no false idols and everyone should be good to each other without touching each other or getting naked together... along came prophet Jeremiah � Baruch his Scribe) son of Neria (said to be one of the authors of the scrolls that would eventually become the Bible and he warns the people they have strayed from the original teachings of their forefathers and shall perish if they do not change... again with the threats of death... then, after an exceptionally outrageous party where all sorts of mind-altering substances were handed out, including one that made people forget language, came Babylon and the tribes of the babblers were formed... it was long before Cyrus the great of some other Empire came along to conquer the babblers, but Cyrus allows the babbling Jews to return to Judah and named Israel, a scribe, a new prophet who edited the old scrolls and reintroduced the original laws (take two tablets and call, you know) after the tribes were a century away from Hebrew laws... the edited the texts were to become the 5 books of Moses... the Torah... the core of the future Bible... then all the other writings (18 scrolls?) are written by different people over time and then Alexander the great took over Egypt and Jews who lived there integrated the Greek ways (adaptable people that those gypsy scholars that they were) and Alexander wanted to read the ancient Jewish texts too, so they were translated into Greek and that became the Hebrew Bible (yes, it was all Greek to them too) because the sly chosen people knew that for people to actually read the holy words and know the Bible-stuff was way more important than keeping the writing in the original Hebrew language... tabiblia (Greek) means the books and the word tabiblia gave birth to the name Bible... unfortunately it and all the other ancient scrolls stored in the Alexandria library were burned by Julius Caesar along about 47bc, so the Bible had to be re-written, again, this time allowing for integration of Greek and Roman philosophies and beliefs (one important one of which being the habit of sex with gods and immaculate conceptions which play an essential role in the next re-write as some of you may well know)... and the scholars saw the perfect opportunity to try to introduce the foretold messiah as a merging of the different cultures in an attempt to bridge them and bring them together because, after all, the masses much be placated and kept from destroying themselves... some Jews bought it, many did not, some Romans bought it, many did not, some Greeks bought it, many did not... the ones who bought it became Christians... the rest remained Jewish or wandered rather confused until something else that caught their fancy came along... so originally written in Greek and called by the word godspell (good news or more literally a spell cast on people instilling the concept of god in their minds) and that was later shortened to gospel... all because those clever Jews sought to survive and maintain some of their belief system under the Greeks and then those Greekish Jews doing the same thing under Roman rule... the choice to believe the foretold messiah came seemed a likely way to maintain the core stories while giving the Romans Catholicism... even if it is all about denying self and following him (who died) to death to heaven and it seems that this Greco-Roman Jew (or Christian) philosophy is one that has given up on living life, it did make the original burning bush the core of the story and belief system so it was a fair compromise all around at the time... then about 60.A.D, "John" (or someone) wrote of the end of the world because everything was so scary at the time and the book of Revelations (returning to the original reason for the first writings � perhaps combining the texts that gave birth to the writings of Nostradomes with the Greco-Roman-Jewish (or Christian) texts... somewhere around 200 A.D., Marcius wanted to bring all the 'gospels' together (how better to secure more central power), but did not want the Jewish influences in it, so he had scholars and scribes separated the texts and eliminated the texts with the Jewish feel (whatever that was)... some rejected this idea, some did not... and Christians divided... and different versions of the 'Bibles' were written... along about 325A.D., Constantine, seeing what a wonderful satisfaction and docility came out of the new Greco-Roman-Jewish (or Christian) teachings, formalized the Bible even more and had it re-written in Latin much as it's known today... in Latin, of course, translated and edited to suit Roman perspectives, philosophies, beliefs, and cultural ways... at this point all the other interpretations and versions were declared heretical and anyone thinking differently was put to death... somewhere in here the writings called wisdom of ben serah was suppressed from the Christian Bible and appears in Roman catholic only... many other would-be Bible chapters and verses were destroyed... somewhere around 500 A.D., the Gnostics (who wrote in Coptic, a language combining Greek and Egyptian) were hiding away with what they called the gospel by Thomas (who was one of the original travelers with Jesus, 12 disciples, and all) and their buried texts were found on the banks of the Nile in 1945... in the 1300's, the first translations into English (from Latin) were undertaken by request of the King cuz the masses needed some calming, but many arguments over translation and interpretation lead to translators being killed, so naturally nobody really wanted the job... then in the 1500's another attempt translation started, this time into English from the original Greek interpretation of the original scrolls, but arguments continued and translators were killed again, however in 1539 the first accepted version of the English language Bible was approved by the powers that be... a few decades later, second accepted version was produced. this time with chapters and verses... finally, in 1604, King James authorized a translation from the Hebrew (which was actually a translation from the original languages of the original scrolls, of course) and the Bible became much as it is today... there are those that perhaps suggest that the original language, with no chapters, verses, or breaks in the texts at all, was one endless stream of consciousness that represents the mind of god and in the end, is one long name of god... but that concept is a bit much for us to wrap our minds around so we divided and conquer the words and keep accept them as the nice short sound-bytes and stories and mottos they are today...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)