LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
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Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

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ABOUT ZOOPLA

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(202) 456-1111

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(202) 224-3121

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USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
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FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
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itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
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REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
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itools references
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Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
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something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-11-27 - 4:44 a.m.

well perhaps I am not so well as I thought I was...


there is a rule of thumb around my head (inside, that is) that basically says:

if the child is writing, leave him alone...
if the words stop flowing, start to worry...

of course we all know (well, at least I do) that worry is a futile act of a desperate mind and a royal waste of time (usually used by those who replace true concern and active participation in the lives of those they proport to love with excessive drama and doubt, but then, what do I know... ahem)...

did you ever wonder if the origin of the word amen came about when, after millions of years of creating species after species, god (or the evolutionary universal consciousness, should there be one) looked at the being created and sat back with a satisfied smile and sighed the words: "ah men"...

or perhaps it was after watching humankind beat themselves to death over this and that year after year that god (or that evolutionary universal consciousness) finally gave up, threw up hands (or whatever limbs such a being might have), shook a sadly morunful head and exclaimed with exquisitely omniscient exasperation, "ahhhhh, men"...

the latter might play better if we suggest that god being to be a female, but then, we wouldn't want to humanize our diety that much, would we?...

surely goodness and mercy (or at least googlers) will follow such an irreverent aside, but we did not come here today to question the merits of humanity, nor did we gather to investigate the semantic origins of words... we arrived here on this date to ponder the navel lint accumulating around the keyboard and no amount of preaching or irreverent asides is going to change that fact (or distract me from it, it seems)...

so has the child been writing? (this would be the first question the truly enlightened being would come to after reading this entry so far, or before, even, for true enlightenment is like magic or mind reading sometimes, but that's another story someone else may write someday, or perhaps has, and not the course of the entry we are creating here)...

yes, there has been writing... several of the other places have had words added, some even uploaded... I will be self-defeating (or modest or egocentric, depending on perspective) and leave it for you to decide if you will find the words to which this answer to the enlightened mind's question referred... there has even been writing for this mostly daily life diary, at least a dozen entries, but as you see, to this point only one brief update has appeared... there are reasons for this, but we may not get to those in this entry... and I know I was hoping and intending (and almost promising) that there'd be much updating just a few days ago (or was that five?), but more life (and other more internal stuff) got in the way again... it is almost irritating now, since I am obviously disappointing my rabid followers (fret not flock, for freedom is at hand... whatever that means {shhhh, if you know, then you know it's the world's best kept secret and nobody really wants to know until everybody else admits they really want to know so nobody wants to go first}, wink nudge nod knowingly) who wait my next litarary refrain with baited breath (there's a dental treatment that can help with that, you know)...

ah, few truly understand the utter masturbatory pleasure of basking in an unbelievably inflated ego, but I recommend that you all try it at least once... unless you find it challenging to laugh at yourself, in which case I would recommend a different form of therapy... or watch What About Bob? followed by your favorite movie of all time with a bowl of your favorite ice cream and a large peice of chocolate... if you do not like chocolate (or are one of the poor souls who came into this world allergic to chocolate), then you'll need more professional help...

now where were we?...

oh yes, providing you with a brief (brief?) update on the whereabouts and condition of the writer of this diary, the one who actually lives (and tries to keep breathing) behind the candoor... that would be me, huh?... well, I've been overloaded with internal and external distractions and therein losing my conscious desire to control anything... musical refrain:

like a ship out on the ocean with no rudder and no sail
just riding waves and currents toward whatever might come
not a thought to whether we shall succeed or fail
just enjoying the journey even if a little numb
(sometimes the child just needs to suck a thumb)

in a nutshell (which makes for a very small boat, by the way), I have wandered aimlessly through others lives offline, allowing myself to be lead by those closest in space around me... that would be my two roommates and the few people at work who I call friends... this has lead to some of the less desirable (and unhealthy) habits I generally try to avoid (fast food diet, total lack of exercise, lots of couch-potato vegging in front of the TV), but also some wonderful inspiration (mostly from the work friends, who have some great ideas to explore)... so it hasn't all been homebound laziness (though the fickle fingers of depressive thoughts are asking for their time in the sun... or is that the demons of depressive darkness are trying to seduce me into their lair?... well, one of those two... in other words, it's about dang time I gave some time to the land of the mostly dead cuz when I don't the stuff that lurks there {and belongs there} can sometimes sneak up behind me and drag me into a funk that appears to have no way out, so I did {and will some more} spend some time there... there being in the lands of the mostly dead, not necessarily in that funk)...

funky advice:

the funk is like quicksand, don't step in it unless you can funkadelic your ass out of it...

so there have been a couple of drum circle groups, self-awareness groups, mighty fine dinners, and great conversations since I last write a daily entry here... and one really nice dog-walking (the sole attempt at exercise, for shame, huh?)...

I have also been averaging less than three hours sleep per twenty-four hour period in this same aforementioned time frame... mostly one or two hour cat-naps (go ahead, research the origins of that phrase if you're bored) in this big green chair (and I no longer can think or sitting here or write the phrase big green chair without thinking of the art it inspired, but once again I will playfully neglect to include an entry to this reference and leave it for you to find it {it's been linked before and shall be linked again} if only to tickle you with the tongue-stuck out teasing that only a carefree child (or way-too-busy person who doesn't mind looking silly) can do... hopefully you feel tickled... if you feel irritated in any way, please rethink why you read these words (if you do) and try to understand the playful nature of the writer and the life that is being partially recorded here behind the candoor... or else, take a pill...

the rest of us will giggle and leave you alone...

I will, if I can stay awake, put together the pile of entries already written for this diary (the hope is that this can be done before I head back to work Sunday night)... until then, this is the word...

love.






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

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.

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